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jannieballiett

Invention Overturned by Kingsland
Chapter 121 of the book miles away

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Great poem, however, I would have constructed "Deafly disturbed" "Very unnerved" in the reverse order.

Just a preference, not a necessity.
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 11-Sep-2012

Animated Food by Ainsley_Jo_Phillips

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Cute but the comma is in the incorrect place:

"It's so cute when fruit, veggies and such, have faces and squeaky voices."
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 11-Sep-2012

Dark Reflections -- A Love Story by Jay Squires

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I love it all, except the method of formatting.

I prefer to read the left-hand margin with paragraph and dialogue breaks. Not indentions.

Great author voice and style.
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 09-Sep-2007

Highwaymen! by Rick Koestler
Chapter 18 of the book The Crooked Stick

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Hey, excellent! Only thing I noticed is "backwards"---I believe should always be "backward" as you can't pluralize it! (same for forward, etc.)


My online time is so limited that I'm missing all these, and also, missing seeing my name mentioned with the others on your author's notes! ;(
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 02-Jun-2006

Sketches by Rick Koestler

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Wow! Not only arrogant, but so smug and self-righteous looking. Your art is exquisite...and I should know, I have your ballerina print!

I really look forward to these sketches, it amazes me.

I'd love to be able to afford commissioning you to illustrate a cover for my book! And illustrate my children's' book--you're soooooooo talented!

;)
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 01-Jun-2006

Prologue by kseaney
Prologue of the book The Halfling Chronicles

Good
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Intriguing plot to the beginning...leaving a good understanding of the contents to come, however, there are a lot of long sentences; run on sentences.

But, even though not a fantasy buff, it's a intriguing storyline.
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 19-May-2006

Where Do We Go From Here? by Norbanus
Chapter 10 of the book Outfoxed at Brandywine

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What a trip! Got Jimmy, but now they have one hellofa trip ahead, just to survive a and not be seen..and poor Mattie. They'll come after her for sure!

Another fantastic chapter. You bring the reader into the story, struggling right along side all the characters! ;)

Whoo! I'm tired now!
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 14-May-2006

Into the Fog. by Norbanus
Chapter 9 of the book Outfoxed at Brandywine

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Such suspense..........they are NOT giving up!

I like Mattie, 'had to tell you that ;)

You don't leave any stone unturned, that's for sure, my friend. So perfectly, sequentially detailed!
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 14-May-2006

Where'd They Go by Norbanus
Chapter 8 of the book Outfoxed at Brandywine

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Okay...where did they go?

This is another EXCELLENT chapter.

You have really got ALL the accents down! How do you keep up with them?

Fantastic write (as always, and never disappointing!)...

;)
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 14-May-2006

Washington is Ready But Amelia is Not. by Norbanus
Chapter 5 of the book Outfoxed at Brandywine

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Question: Do you capialize "Sir" when no name follows? My book has tht, and I've haven't been using caps...but noticed you did--and you're usuually right 'bout htose things...I thought if it was Sir So-and-So, then it's capped, and just saying "yes, sir" etc. it isn't....Like I have "detective" talking to him, but "Detective Meadows" when addressing him as such. Inquiring minds want to know.
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Oh? What plan?
Comment Written by jannieballiett on 14-May-2006


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