So Will I
by I am Cat
I liked this with it's interesting formatting of what are (pretty much) rhyming couplets.
Particularly liked the 'whirring sound'/brain lines and (reformatting it):
If I had to start again right now I don't think that I could...
Life was never perfect, but you know... It was good.
Bit of a niggle over the word 'tired' at the very start though. Do you just mean there's a tiredness/weariness in your body or something else? If it is a tiredness, why not say that? 'Tired' doesn't work for me in the sentence for all meanings I'm aware of, and if it's the wrong word being used poetically, then it doesn't scan right for me. Only bit of a niggle, but coming in the first few words and having to reread a few times and still not being certain of the meaning, it nearly stopped me progressing through the rest of the poem.
Comment Written by Judgement Dave on 01-Aug-2015