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NJK62

Carousel Horses by Cumbrianlass

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I liked this poem. I thought the satori line was particularly effective: there's a delightful play on the word 'charge' and it captures the source of the joy experienced by a child riding the carousel. Well done. Hope you do well in the contest. Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016

What If? by Deejharrington

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an interesting reflective poem. There's some super lines in it: I liked particularly :

Ask the raised fist
Ask the tearful cry

I thought the list of victims worthy of our humanity was generally effective. However, I did wonder about beginning with animals, whether or not the environment line was appropriate and whether or not 'ask...the native American's stolen history' made sense.

I think there is a core of six worthy poem here, but I think it might be more effective if these issues are resolved and if you shortened the poem.

Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

I Just Discovered by Barb Hensongispsaca
Chapter 21 of the book Family 6

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The directness of this poem gives it its force. I like your use of phrasal line division; generally this gives the meaning of the lines emphasis. However, this is not the case with the line 'as a'. I also think the use of repetition helps convey the speaker's sense of anger and frustration, Well done. i wish you well in the contest. Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Trees (5-7-5) by giraffmang

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an amusing poem. There;s much humour to be had from stating the obvious. The satori line is used to deliver the punchline. Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

robru (day's events) by robyn corum

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I liked the wit of this and the picture is a perfect accompaniment. The brevity of the form gives the poem a special impetus. Thanks for sharing it with us. Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016

Tree of Life (5-7-5) by Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I liked this 5-7-; it has a resonance and the satori line gives the poem a thought-provoking conclusion. Well done. Hope you do well in the contest. Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Life's Long Pause Before the Period by Jay Squires

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really liked the wit of this. Delightful play on words which creates humour for an uncomfortable procedure. Hope you do well in the contest. Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016

Should Not Have Been-But Was by dragonpoet

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The form of this is perfect in conveying the sense of a speaker still trying to make sense of this tragic event. The phrasal line division captures and reinforces each idea and the difficulty of the speaker in relating these ideas to each other in a coherent way. Well done and thanks for sharing this with us. Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016

Pilot of my Dreams by rspoet

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow! What an impressive piece of writing! You handle the form in a highly accomplished way to capture the joy and excitement of letting one's imagination free. The rhythm, internal rhyme, alliteration, and the originality of the imagery combine very effectively to realize your intentions. A super piece of writing that is well worth a six. Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016

Heartache 100 by Sis Cat

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I really liked this piece. The form is a perfect vehicle for conveying the speaker's attempts to try to make sense of the broken relationship. The broken tea cup also is a highly effective metaphor for the difficulty of recovery. Well done. Thanks for sharing this six star poem with us. Nigel.
Comment Written by NJK62 on 25-Sep-2016


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