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I. J. Fox

Be a Lantern in the Darkness by WalkerMan

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Amen. Solid. This is excellent. I definitely relate to and appreciate the sentiment behind this. May we each be willing to die daily, and take up our cross that we may serve our King and His people. That we can share the Light that He has given us with those who would be lost without it.

Goes without saying at this point that all your structuring, pacing, rhyme schemes, etc. are virtually flawless. Well done.
Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 24-Sep-2016

You Are My Summer by WalkerMan

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Dang. Same thing as the last one. I feel terrible, because you pretty much always give me a five or six, and now I feel like I'm sort of betraying you, but I know that four is what I would rate it if it were anyone else, so I have to do it. It almost exactly the same issue as with Mandorla. All the formulaic aspects of the poem are virtually perfect. Perhaps that is part of my issue - maybe it's too perfect? Too... quaint somehow? I'm not sure. Again, it may just be my own bias that makes me feel that way as I read it, but there it is. I apologize my good sir.
Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 24-Sep-2016

Mandorla by WalkerMan

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Greetings Sir. I want to somewhat apologize for only giving this four stars. I think it might actually deserve five, but I can't do it. It was very nicely, smoothly, and evenly paced. It was structured very well. The story progression was even and concluded very well (always the hardest part, to end well). The concept and idea behind the work was lovely. And the analogies were beautiful.

Somehow though... I'm not sure why, it just fell rather flat for me. I think it may be due to my own current relationship with romance, if you know what I mean, haha. But all things related to romance have always held an extremely special and unique place in my heart and mind. Therefore, I am probably the most critical of art representing that. I'm sorry, but hopefully that kind of makes sense.

Overall, I still enjoyed it, I just wasn't moved by it, and I suppose I generally expect anything within romance to touch my soul. I feel pretty bad on this one... But I just wouldn't feel good if I gave it five stars either. Lose, lose.

Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 24-Sep-2016

Life and Love by WalkerMan

This work has reached the exceptional level

This. Is. Beautiful.

This is, without question, my favorite one of yours thus far. It is very simple, yet the wording chosen for each line has great depth. To accomplish that takes great thought and skill. Of course, the pacing, rhythm, rhyme scheme, and overall flow were perfect.

I always read poetry aloud, and it flows together flawlessly. Truly beautiful, and the words ring with the Spirit of Truth, and to me, that is one of the highest goals to achieve in writing. For we are after all, meant to be the pure and empty vessels that we might be conduits for our heavenly Father to speak through us. Very well done, sir.

Additionally, I frequently write my poetry with particular pieces of music accompanying them. Sometimes, it is actually a piece of music that inspired the poem to begin with. It just so happens that as I read your poem, I thought of a particular song I knew, and read it again, while listening to it. I thought they blended rather well. If reading it aloud, you may have to read it slightly faster than you might, so as not to have the song finish before you're done reading. You can look up the song on YouTube. Type in "Dreamfall - Hospital Room." It is a song from a PC video game called The Longest Journey: Dreamfall. A game that in and of itself is poetry, haha. Though, video games are something generally left in my past as I used to have quite the addiction to them. This one though, was something special - anyhow, I digress, haha. I apologize, I can go on random rants like that from time to time. Seriously though, look up the song and listen to it while reading your poem aloud! I would really like to see what you think about it. God bless!
Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 24-Jun-2016

life's winter... by royowen

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Very enjoyable. Good pacing, smooth flow, and a tasteful rhyme scheme. That bdbd rhyming specifically added something to the poem. And a very good message that those of us who know Christ find as one of the greatest blessings to rest in. Well done, sir.
Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 18-Jun-2016

Epitaph For Robert Graves by Day Z Chayn
Chapter 170 of the book Kilroy Was Here!

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I know this rating might be considered offensive, and I understand that, but I actually don't intend it to be so. However, I have to stick to my own rating system which you can view on my profile page if you wish.

First of all, the context seemed very strange to me. I used to perform in a symphony for several years, and I simply cannot imagine any situation where the "listener" would witness anyone wandering "lightly" around the "entire orchestra" and "trying out" all the instruments. And thusly, they would not even have the opportunity to be stunned "with his virtuosity."

Then as far as logistics go, as I read this, I could detect no discernible pattern whatsoever. Your syllabic pattern for each line went 3, 4, 8, 8, 8, 7, 5. Additionally, the use of an ellipsis seemed out of place contextually, and there was no rhyme scheme that I could detect either. I also have no idea what a "found" poem is supposed to mean, especially in reference to music. Nor do I comprehend how a poem seven lines long could compose entire chapter of any book. And if this was truly intended to be an epitaph, I am not really sure how.

Please believe me when I say that I honestly do not like giving such a low rating. In fact, this is the first time I have ever done so. I am trying to be as objective as possible, but this poem seems incredibly non-cohesive and disjointed, and I couldn't maintain my own standard of accurate rating without assessing it as such. I hope you will not completely despise me after this, as I am honestly just trying to be as true to the Art as I possibly can. If there is something I am drastically missing, please let me know, and I may reconsider my rating.
Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 31-May-2016

The Bucket by GoodHearted Woman

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Greetings. This was a well conceived idea, and it you develop it nicely. However, your line breaks seem to create a bit of confusion, and I had to read it two or three times. Your rhyming too, seemed rather scattered. At first I thought you weren't attempting to rhyme at all (which of course is perfectly acceptable), but then I realized that it was there, but sporadically, and not necessarily where you would expect. That in and of itself is not a bad thing, but seemed to interrupt the flow somewhat. The further disconnect of inconsistent lines per stanza and syllables per line compounds the erratic feeling.

It is a great concept, and I think it has potential, but I think it needs a little fine tuning. I don't want to discourage you at all, but only to hopefully offer some constructive criticism. All the best.
Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 31-May-2016

Ominous Onomatopoeia by Dean Kuch

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This was excellent. I am not a huge fan of horror in the traditional sense, yet this was rather tasteful horror. Nice even pace and rhythm, with an excellent rhyme scheme. The added use of the color red for emphasis was great as well. Just an incredibly solid work overall.
Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 31-May-2016
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Sylvanus' Long Road by ciliverde

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I thoroughly enjoyed this. The overall rhythm, rhyme, and pace were good. A few words I might have chosen differently as they seem to make what is generally more of an "epic" in style a bit trivialized. For instance: the first sonnet, second stanza, line six - the word "peep." It isn't that it is not accurate, only that in my mind, it denotes something childish or juvenile. I don't mean that as a derogatory statement at all. Just a thought. There weren't many like that, but a few here and there. As a soldier myself, war and warriors are anything but childish, and this seems to be written from the perspective of a warrior, therefore, I would assume that for the sake of legitimacy, it may be a thought to consider.

That said, I don't want you to think this is any way a bad review. I loved it. The era of the latter days of the Roman Empire and the beginning of the Dark Ages is one of my favorites to be sure. And incredibly few amazing heroic male figures can even exist without a lady to fight for, something beyond just the "cause."

So, great work! Blessings!
Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 30-May-2016

The Gamble by Wabigoon

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Incredibly unique. You truly have an original perspective, and more importantly you can express that originality incredibly well. A bit chaotic in some respects, but that is not a negative thing in this case, and the pacing actually works, despite it's apparent lack of symmetry. I really enjoyed this.

Additionally, there is a superficial satirical or comedic tone to it, but beneath that is a depth that is surprising and absolutely fantastic, as it makes the entire work much more meaningful. Bravo.
Comment Written by I. J. Fox on 29-May-2016

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