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ND Jones

Mirrors of Life - Chapter 27 by CEO2020
Chapter 27 of the book Mirrors of Life (Revised)

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Hi, thank you for reading chapter 6 of my "Bound Souls" manuscript. You asked if I would take a look at your chapter 27th, which I have. The only feedback I have that is truly worth giving is that of switched POV. You started off with Derrick's POV but shifted back and forth once he went to the club and met up with Vanessa. Some shifts were subtle, a sentence or two, then back to Derrick's POV. The shifts also included more than one other character. For example, I believe you had a POV shift that included Vanessa's friends.

I'm pretty anal on POV shifts without benefit of a section or chapter break, so my feedback is totally based on my preference as a reader as well as a writer. But I thought it was worth noting.

Good luck, and thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written by ND Jones on 26-Dec-2016


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