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laffad

Pushing Away by Paisley Banana

Excellent
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I love that part, "I'll write your name in the sand and laugh as it washes away". is that meant to be bitter? Such a punch in the feels. Wonderful job with this one!!!
Comment Written by laffad on 15-Mar-2017

3-Ring Bozo! by Mike Stevens

Excellent
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Scary shit. Well done. I like this one a lot. I don't think I fully understand it, though. I think you used the word "insight" incorrectly. Perhaps you meant "incite"- meaning to catalyze, or bring about?
Comment Written by laffad on 11-Mar-2017

Catharsis by Eve Bailey

Excellent
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This is a great, cathartic piece. I feel like you and I would get along really well. You should read some of the rants I've written. Thanks for writing this. It's not easy to share something like this.
Comment Written by laffad on 08-Mar-2017

A Ragged House. by mrsmajor

Excellent
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I think you should take out the comma in your description. It does not make much sense to me there. Some of the rhyming schemes are a little rough. I enjoyed this one, though. I've been in so many different houses in my life. This was very relatable.
Comment Written by laffad on 08-Mar-2017

A Wasted Life 4 of 4 by hvysmker

Excellent
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Hey, great story and gripping detail. The only suggestion I've got is to make sure you're keeping your tenses consistent so that the story makes sense, ya dig? Great job with this one.
Comment Written by laffad on 08-Mar-2017

Donald John Trump by Mimiright

Good
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Hey, you've got a few grammar and spelling errors. This poem is strong, and I like that. But you gotta build it up with good grammar and punctuation. Let me know if you need some help with your revisions.
Comment Written by laffad on 08-Mar-2017

Taking A Shower In Mexico Is Scary by Sasha

Excellent
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Crazy scary story!!! I thought this was going to be about Montazuma's Revenge (or however the hell you spell it.) but this took me for a real loop. I didn't watch the video because I scare and upset easily, but is it hard to watch? Please let me know. Also, one suggestion: "Are you sure mine is not grounded. (add a question mark where the period is)
Comment Written by laffad on 08-Mar-2017

To wake up without you by fafa

Excellent
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This sounds lovely. I am somewhat fluent in Spanish and could maybe help you to translate it a little better. If you post the poem to me in Spanish, I can try to re-translate it, send it back to you, and let you see if it is similar to what you want to say.
Comment Written by laffad on 03-Mar-2017

Beneath Oceans and In Coffins by C.C Williams

Excellent
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I'm not sure how to do this justice. I would keep this in my library if I owned one. Please promote this. People desperately need to see it.
Comment Written by laffad on 23-Feb-2017

Inside by Keelan Cloud

Excellent
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Thank you so so so so so so so much for posting this. I am glad someone else has had this sort of experience. Actually, I'm not, but it's comforting to me... Thanks again for posting this. Well done.
Comment Written by laffad on 15-Feb-2017


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