My Comments

Excellent

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This was a great narrative poem that had some strong emotional underpinnings to it. I liked how you use this image of the broken wing on the little bird to speak of a broken relationship, and the refrain echoing through the piece, 'do you remember?' keeps pecking away and chipping away at the distance, to finally break through and make a connection. Through love. Its a mother's constant, faithful love, that endures through all trials, through all strains, that never breaks and keeps us tethered. estory

Comment Written by estory on 03-Mar-2021

Choices by Iza Deleanu
Chapter 93 of the book The Corona saga

Excellent

I;m going with Johnson & Johnson's vaccine because its one shot and done. Much easier. Now we are eligible in North Carolina, since I work in a supermarket and am officially a front line worker. But sometimes I have to wonder about this because I have been working for a year through the whole thing and never got sick. estory

Comment Written by estory on 03-Mar-2021

A Colorful Life by Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

I loved your essay on crayola crayons, the stuff of our creativity when we were kids. Brought back some memories of all those coloring books. Also interesting to read of how our styles and tastes have changed over the years, from avocado green kitchens to teal blue bathrooms, stainless steel silver and ceramic white, through the hipster era and the mod of the seventies, the yuppies and on and on. Those endless black and white kitchens and bathrooms, the olive green paint jobs, the neon shag rugs. Makes me think of those bean bag chairs too. estory

Comment Written by estory on 02-Mar-2021

*** WELCOME BACK Rikki66 *** by Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Its always a tough go when you don't hear from friends. At least it sounds like he is still in the wings, awaiting his surgery. That's another tale of the epidemic; all the cancelled surgeries and the pain we are in waiting to get these things done. The frustrations of dealing with this thing are endless...good to see a post of yours, my friend. The personality and sense of humor is always a joy to read. estory

Comment Written by estory on 02-Mar-2021

A More Open Verdict? by Pantygynt
Chapter 20 of the book More Grist to the Mill

Excellent

This conversation with Allen seems to turn back the idea of suicide or murder, and suggest an accidental drowning. So we are going in circles here, and nothing is conclusive, which means that the suspects may well go free. The circumstances are complicated and the evidence is suspect here, the time elapsed is also fogging up the view of the death. Its hard to tell where this is going at this point. Its a long conversation with these two and it seems to be going nowhere. estory

Comment Written by estory on 02-Mar-2021

Machines of Bentley by Lance S. Loria

Excellent

This had that shock value ending. You set us up with that innocent approach, relating that all the sales targets were getting made, the boss had arranged for success, the team was delivering...and then comes this Valentine's Day massacre kind of ending when the crooks spray the team with machine gun bullets. An eye popper of an ending. estory

Comment Written by estory on 02-Mar-2021
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Voice of a Doctor by Goodadvicechan

Excellent

I thought it really brought home all these fears and frustrations with dealing with the pandemic. That dreaded 'positive' test result, and you had it here dissolving your hopes for an anniversary celebration, which made it more emotional and poignant. This really speaks of all the moments the epidemic has erased in our lives. Keep the faith. This too shall pass. Compared with 1918, this was nothing. estory

Comment Written by estory on 02-Mar-2021

One Too Many by Ulla

Excellent

Not bad, not bad. I like how you set us up for that gas explosion in the kitchen, and then it turned out to be the skunk...nice realistic dialogue really drew us into the moment. Reminds me of the time my gas stove leaked in NY...down here its all electric so I don't have that problem anymore. No skunks yet either; just plenty of moles and voles, deer and rabbits. But the hawk and the owl help with that. I believe in natural pest control. estory

Comment Written by estory on 02-Mar-2021

Justice for Those Who Wait by Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Those old loves die hard. I thought your last image, of the girl with the red rose in her hair, was really poignant and emotional. Nice long languid lines too. Its hard to lose those feelings of long ago, even when so much water has passed under the bridge. estory

Comment Written by estory on 01-Mar-2021

Baiyun Speaks to the Crowd by Lisa Wharton
Chapter 12 of the book Tiananmen Square, A Script

Excellent

I thought the stage directions were pretty detailed and clear and concise, so good job with that, and the dialogue was pretty nicely integrated too. We see these two girls juggling their feelings over being involved in this chance for democracy, but also caring for the people they love. They are kind of delicately torn, and we feel that under the surface. This really makes me think of what is going on in Hong Kong right now. It is so eerily similar. estory

Comment Written by estory on 01-Mar-2021