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velmag

Consummation by suneagle

Excellent
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Very well written... The words flowed well... I also think the picture you used fit the poem very well.

I especially liked the 3rd stanza...

Faint of heart and weak at knee
She stands on trepidation's edge
Escape is not an option now
As the lion prowls the hall
Comment Written by velmag on 16-Nov-2009

Here's Johnny! by nor84

Excellent
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This was very well written. I started reading and couldn't put it down. This is my first meeting with Hans and his brother and I sure enjoyed meeting them.
I really enjoyed the story and the suspense carried me through to the end.
Great work....
Comment Written by velmag on 11-Nov-2009

As Laughter Fades by Shirley B

Excellent
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This is very well written. Made my blood boil when i read it. It was very powerful, the way you used her dairy as her confidant. She had no one else to turn to, so she tells her her diary her deepest darkest secrets.
Very good work...
Comment Written by velmag on 10-Nov-2009

Susan is Really Pissed by Sasha
Chapter 33 of the book A Crack in the Mirror

Excellent
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I haven't read the other chapters but this chapter was very well written. It caught and held my attention. I really like James ...Susan sounds a bit high strung but I guess under the circumstances I can understand where she is coming from....
Very good work...
Comment Written by velmag on 05-Nov-2009

~ A Friend's Wings ~ by AnnaLinda
Chapter 50 of the book Naani, Cinquain, Acrostic and other

Excellent
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This is a beautiful poem and flows very well. I especially liked

Friendly talent, a fairytale sharer
Flew into my life sending a repose
Soaring high above, pouring words fairer

Very good... enjoyed it
Comment Written by velmag on 05-Nov-2009

I Once Walked in Darkness by BJean

Excellent
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Wow, this is what it's all about... I especially like the third stanza...

My heart I do surrender, I give you all my days,
Take my life and change it, I'll sing Your name in praise.
I glorify You Lord, for I've been born again;
I'll worship You forevermore for taking all my pain.

Very good lyrics... I enjoyed reading this song..
Comment Written by velmag on 03-Nov-2009

A non-existent victim by mshugh
Chapter 1 of the book The Shaddad Conspiracy

Excellent
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You continued to keep my interest. I really liked Sir William. He sounds like he is a stinker but quite likable.
One small typo ...You called the inspector a lad... (I'm guessing you meant lass)
I'm enjoying the journey into Middle East history as well...
Comment Written by velmag on 29-Oct-2009

Justice for Miriam by mshugh
Prologue of the book The Shaddad Conspiracy

Excellent
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Good read.. very well written. I started reading and couldn't put it down. It brings home some of the things that are happening right now.
You set up the story nicely and left us wanting to know what is going to happen next...
Good work...
Comment Written by velmag on 29-Oct-2009

The Unknown - Revised by Begin Again
Chapter 2 of the book Diamond in the Rough

Good
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Wow! That was really, really good. Your descriptive way of writing brings the story to life. I could feel the frantic fear you were experiencing. I could have strangled the doctor who refused to believe or to even check out the baby. He should not even be allowed to practice medicine....
Great work.
Comment Written by velmag on 28-Oct-2009

The Gift - 2 by Marty K

Excellent
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Well written but he story left me with a feeling of sorrow. Both Sarah and John should have realized their marriage was too precious to destroy with a fling.
I could feel Sarah's pain when she realized she had thrown away something that was very precious to her.
Great story...
Comment Written by velmag on 27-Oct-2009


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