Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Lucian Carter

a perfect science by godlucifer

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a really interesting structure. Bobbing and weaving in form and meaning. I think you captured your intentions perfectly. I envy your style. Great job.
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 20-Feb-2018

As the Sun Sinks Ever So Low by MissMerri

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I would not call this poem pitiful. More like pitiable. Pity is a double edged sword that can bring both parties down. And an emotionally draining situation can leave you just as drained as those with the problems in the first place. I got all that here, so I'd say you did a lot with your poem. Great job.
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 16-Feb-2018

It's My Time (The Election) by joycetreasures

Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your first line is solid, without falling into cynicism. From there, I get lost.

Also, this is weirdly timed. Over a year after the election are we still talking about Hillary? Or is this some new mystery woman who should be president?

Line two:
She "feels" not "feel"

White House is a proper name, capitalize the H as well as the W.

You message is unclear, thus this doesn't really work as a Senryu. Perhaps it would be clearer in a longer format of poetry?
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 15-Feb-2018
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Regrets by Debbie Pope

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ouch.

A truly horrible feeling. It's easy to lose fond memories and dwell only on the problems ones.

This fits the contest perfectly and packs so much into ten syllables. Really great stuff.
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 15-Feb-2018
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Senryu by Harry Smith

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A good faith poem. Maybe a little on the nose, but your message comes through.

"creator of All!!!" Aesthetically, this looks awful. And even the Almighty does not need three exclamation points.

I love your last line. Way too many Christians forget that important message. Thanks for bringing it forward.
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 15-Feb-2018

The Art of Stacking Dishes by pipersfancy

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting match between image and poem. I like the poem on a surface level, but the deeper metaphors and messages make it even better. I also understand dwelling on the negative of what has happened rather than your accomplishments. It's a tough row to hoe. I really like this piece. Good luck with it.
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 15-Feb-2018

Second Best. by For better for verse

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Maybe you will meet her again?

This tugs at the heartstrings, despite using melodrama to achieve it. People forget, well done melodrama can still be quite moving. I like the pacing of the piece. It feels like it picks up in the third stanza and captures the frantic search very well. I didn't spot any errors, so this is an easy 5 stars to give. Nice job.
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 15-Feb-2018

Entwined Hearts by N.K. Wagner

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Although the Tango is considered more romantic than the Waltz by most people, the Waltz was the hottest thing around for a long time in a large part of the Western world. You capture a feeling of love in 5-7-5 perfectly. Not using punctuation or capitals was the right choice. It preserves the gentle rhythm and warmth of a lover's dance. Well done.
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 15-Feb-2018

Dreams are like... by royowen

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well written poem. It's nicely composed. I like how you express faith in a strong way without being preachy, judgmental, or blunt. Not every one can do that.

Beyond that the poem itself is somewhat "dreamy," just like it's subject matter. That's some really nice style.
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 15-Feb-2018

I watched... by royowen

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A fitting, spiritual, tribute I enjoyed. It's not always easy to portray the positives of God and leave aside the negatives. You did that quite well here. I didn't like the numbering of the stanzas. That feels more for a Powerpoint Presentation than a poem. That's a minor quibble about a strong poem.
Comment Written by Lucian Carter on 29-Dec-2017


Page: 1 Next Page



  Contact Us © 2014 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Statement