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The Elf

In Pleasures Misused by easyeverett

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Wow - such a powerful work. So often people write of something they never experienced and fall flat. This seems to come from your soul from real experience. Most of it dances along at related rhythm of syllables but drops out for no apparent reason. Try to relate rhythm changes to strong changes in content. You may have already done this and I might not be getting it.
Comment Written by The Elf on 23-Sep-2019

It's Fall, Y'all by Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent
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Nostalgic and sweet. There are lots of seemingly equally weighted adjectives and adverbs having your work humming along at a steady pace. I like a few curves and jumps in the road- deleting some adverbs and adjectives might get it done. Maybe add the unexpected - "grasshopper could care less... my preferences of course but this has strong bones.
Comment Written by The Elf on 23-Sep-2019

Freedom's Fight by Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent
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I enjoyed reading this. With powerful works it is best to remove words not necessary like adverbs and adjectives. Consider deleting "strict - for me..." say you are leaving for war only once. I love, "A flower grows for each tear cried."

Comment Written by The Elf on 23-Sep-2019

Welcome Spring by HarryT

Good
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Very nice standard faire for the description of spring. It harkens back to the preindustrial age when nature worked in harmony. Greenhouse gases and our refusal to do anything about it will make this a striking tale of times missed.
Comment Written by The Elf on 11-Sep-2019
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Pepper being happy by Poetofheart2013

Good
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What is cuter and creates more joy than a bunny. It is appropriately recognized. Simple to the point and made me smile. Not sure it could transfer to any other animal but be interesting to try. Could it be done by a tortoise?
Comment Written by The Elf on 10-Sep-2019

Nostalgia by Anuradha Dev

Excellent
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Very cute - I indeed smile at notifications of texts. Not sure I like texts taking over real love letters. They are so quick but meaningful none the less
Comment Written by The Elf on 10-Sep-2019

Wish Upon A Star by Raul1

Good
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The first step in achieving a goal is to state it very clearly. Wishing is one very good way to do that. And doing so upon something far away can bring untold power
Comment Written by The Elf on 10-Sep-2019
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Being Harley Quinn by Harley Dayman Rayne Quinn

Good
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Quite cute. It sparked in very few words the struggle against oppression. A very hot topic now s days. Keep up the good work. It's difficult to say so much with so little. And so much needs to be said. Pigtails and boots was too obscure for me.
Comment Written by The Elf on 10-Sep-2019

A Town Called Hamlet (part 4) by Sarkems

Good
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In the days of Trump rolling back safety and environmental regulations, this is a needed reminder and encouragement. I was a bit distracted by what seemed struggling rhythm of the dialect - but if you did not grow up speaking as such, getting it right would be next to impossible. That said it is very nice work!
Comment Written by The Elf on 10-Sep-2019

No War... No More by Artasylum

Excellent
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An optimist you be and be what I like. Heard an interesting statistic today from a questionable source. 250,000 people are killed each year by AK-47 assault rifles. I think maybe first we might look into the military industrial complex that profits so greatly from death.
Comment Written by The Elf on 06-Jul-2018


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