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jlsavell

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Dancing With the Stars

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Beautiful!
I feel the same about sports. I love the cadence, the balance, the success of a perfect play. I've always thought about dance, too; I love the way you described it and wondered if you could love someone that way. Indeed, I think the love comes first, and then the dance ... or the sport ... and often the writing.
Your was a very nicely written piece. Applause, applause ...
Comment Written 14-Dec-2019 by Cycler


Schizophrenic

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This work has reached the exceptional level
Beautiful write, ma'am. You have such a way about you, setting the mood, drawing pictures with your words, and drawing us into the circumstance.
And I love the way you care.

Thanks for sharing this!
Comment Written 14-Dec-2019 by Cycler


I See Her

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This work has reached the exceptional level
This is a wonderful piece of work. I absolutely love it. The way you made it simple but constantly intriguing and leading the reader into the journey. I definitely enjoyed reading this and thank you for sharing this part of you. Sometimes what we think is vulnerability, others may see as strength.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019 by Derrick Payton


Schizophrenic

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I am sorry about the delay in responding, but the Baltic cruise ship had an unstable internet signal. We are home now and I am pleased to read your poem. Your portrayal of mental illness and the striking artwork you selected are very effective. Comparing her "demons" to "passionate harpists" is memorable, along with the "bullet points" metaphor. Your final stanza is quite thought-provoking as well. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019 by Joan E.


Schizophrenic

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My oldest brother had schizophrenia. He killed himself after a stint in Vietnam. I've read a lot of what you've written--both here, and on the forum (of course, I'm not allowed to contribute in the forum anymore, so I only eavesdrop). You are quite talented, but tend to ramble, and sometimes, I lose interest. Maybe that's my alleged ADD (see my book ADD and Me, Forty Years in a Fog on Amazon for more about this) keeping me from following following what you've written, or maybe it's simply that you try to write too much in one sitting.

Anyway, I just wanted to touch base. Most people here hate me for my honesty. But I don't care, as I'm an extremely gifted writer.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019 by Six-Star Writer


I See Her

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Wow, how powerful is this message. I have a loved one who has experienced this same thing as this woman in the writing. You have certainly reminded me that we are all, everyone of us, carrying our own burdens, even though we may portray as something/one else. It is something that we should never forget. Thank you for this..
Comment Written 07-Aug-2019 by Jo.G


Schizophrenic

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This work has reached the exceptional level
Wow Jimi that is a very powerful piece. You have an amazing way with words
This says it all:

"There's nothing I can say.
I am mute.
I can't wrap my brain
around Schizophrenia

All I can do- is wrap my arms
around her worth,
even though I hate to feel
It's all too much to reconcile her darkness"

Thanks for sharing Jimi and good luck in the poem of the month contest.
xdip
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019 by DR DIP


Schizophrenic

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This work has reached the exceptional level
It is a stunning write Jimi, stunning! A beautiful innocent soul that for whatever reason has been cursed/possessed/inflicted with a mind that walks many paths and has too many voices screaming to be free/heard.
Our minds are awash with emotions that at times we all struggle to control, I can't imagine having multiple minds and multiple emotions all in one soul.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019 by Hitcher


Schizophrenic

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Because it is so captivating and pure and true
It is so sad.
Jimi
are you familiar with the work of Dr. Avraham Hopper?
He treated this with mega doses of B vitamins.
There is a dutch professor of psychiatry in Holland who treats
his 'mental' patients with Nutrients with great sucsess.
I enjoyed your writing style. :-))Z.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019 by strandregs


Schizophrenic

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This work has reached the exceptional level
This is an excellent interpretation of mental illness and how it feels from someone who has it (in this case schizophrenia). The stanza that reads "Innocence set in stone, like the carved cherubs above a gravestone" is particularly haunting in how it reflects an undercurrent of suicide or an early death from having schizophrenia. The way you wrote the dialogue from the schizophrenic is also very accurate as to how chaotic that form of mental illness can get for both the schizophrenic and the people in their lives.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019 by Laurel Legion


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