Football Chapter 14 part 2
Katherine and Gabriel talk. 		Pays: 10 points.
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costellsgirl33
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The Real Dark Knight

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Life Event Writer start story with enchanting thought and proceed smoothly to relate their acclaims. Thoughtful and considerate to their reader writer pave a pleasant relations to start journey. Love the play by writer towards reader keeping them together, again very considerate.

Writer in the course of story develop with this considerate repeat as if to reassure reader of their intent, perhaps to reach the end of tale a better concern, more precise lining such as "My cousin looked at me, horrified, close to tears, and pulled my arm and said, "We have to run." Precise and well spoken with adequate descriptive features to do all those intended considerations

Writer could enhance story properties greatly with more descriptive lining such as

But I knew he wouldn't be.

But I knew, in my heart, feet or head, you the writer choice, he wouldn't be.

Hope you understood or comprenda, not one to review anybody my works a wreck, but I do try to be honest
Comment Written 29-May-2015 by TPAC

Intuition

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 Betrayal is never easy to live with. It seems in these words you have the last word. From him believing you had no concrete proof he now actually suffers from the ailment. The ailments of doubt. I hope it eats him alive
Comment Written 17-May-2015 by petalangela

Intuition

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 Hi....

I can certainly understand where this comes from, having been married to a cheater years ago. I walked in on him and my 'best' friend. Well, she was until that day!

This is really good. Hope you do well in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*;*)

Comment Written 17-May-2015 by Jacqueline M Franklin

Intuition

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 Your ex sounds like a real tool. If he's a liar now, he always was and will be one forever. It's like being an addict. ......
Comment Written 16-May-2015 by Bill Schott

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