16 spots left
I guess that in every realm, stealing when caught comes with a high penalty. This is a good story you've developed here. I like it! Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!
You use your 80 words with precision and tell your story smoothly. Mark Jackson seems to have done his planning and used perfect timing. All that money flying through the air! What about passers-by? Would this have occurred late at night? He might have had competition for getting all that money. Great insight into what drives Mark Jackson. He doesn't want to toil in the underbelly of life. Best of luck in the contest. judi
This eighty-word story, Greenbacks, has the right word count and seems to create a scene where bank robber makes a less than quiet withdrawal and becomes a venture capitalist. Robber Barons loved by all.
I think that you wrote a great and very creative chapter in your story. I love the dialogue for the story it really fit the character and the time period. The action scene was really intense when the explosion happened at the National Bank. Great Flash Fiction poem!
You have managed to write a very tension driven story, and the tension lasted from beginning to end, captivating the reader easily. Great work on it, best of luck!
-Good artwork and story, Brett.
-It is fast paced, and kept my attention
with effective dialogue and description.
-You developed the characters
and their situation very well.
-The supernatural beasts were eerie
with flaming red eyes and vicious fangs.
-I like how you incorporate the game
Tony and Jeremy had been playing earlier.
-But obviously, Mordecai was not happy
about Jeremy's boasting!
-Good luck in the contest.
Excellent story for the contest. I like the imagery you used especially. And a good pace in the story as well. Freaky end to the story. Best wishes in the contest. Keep safe my writing friend.
Well, that was an eerie little story. I did like it, though. There's good imagery of the forest, the boys, and the gold coins. I was engaged from start to finish. You did a great job with the prompt. Right off the bat you grabbed readers' attention and held it til the last. The one thing I would change is referring to the boys as tots. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan
Hi Brett, this is a great entry, so this is straight out of a nightmare, which I suppose it is. You have a great imagination and I loved the story. Thank you so much for participating and the best of luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
Very creative fantasy fiction. You used a lot of the things here that managed to confuse me. From two boys running from some creatures in the woods to the fact that leprechaun named Mordecai had been with them and then that it was a all a scary dream that Tony was having. Then we learn they had found the pot of gold and each boy had stolen a coin. When Tony wakes up he places his coin next to a toy also name Mordecai and which point the toy come to life and kills him and goes after the other boy.
You have a great imagination.
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