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CD Richards
Gender: Male
Member: Eternal Premier Author
Joined: June 2015
I live in The Middle of Nowhere, Australia. I share my little piece of the Earth with one extraordinarily patient female of my species, five Shetland ponies, nine alpacas, six sheep, four goats, a dog and a variable population of feral cats, rabbits, possums, rats, mice, snakes, spiders and other assorted critters (still working on the partridge in a pear tree).

In my spare time, I like moonlit walks on the beach, candlelit dinners and avoiding cliches.

I don't generally bite (much), so please feel free to say hi any time you feel like it.

6 of 68 fans
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CD Richards: Now this is funny... The owners of Noah's Ark (well, a full-size replica, apparently) in Kentucky are suing their insurance company, for... you guessed it... flood damage!
May 26, 2019 at 5:17AM
    Santiago2: The ignorance of you non-believers never ceases to amaze. This lawsuit was foretold in The Old Testament Apocrypha, which details Noah's centuries-long legal battle with the underwriters of his project, Punitive Acts of God, Inc.
    June 11, 2019 at 12:36AM
    Santiago2: The ignorance of you non-believers never ceases to amaze. This lawsuit was foretold in the Old Testament
    Apocrypha, which details Noah's centuries-long legal battle with the underwriter of his project: Punitive God, Inc.
    June 11, 2019 at 12:43AM
    Santiago2: Apologies for the duplicate post--a glitch, apparently.
    June 11, 2019 at 12:50AM

CD Richards: Another one bites the dust. Wakey, wakey.
May 14, 2019 at 1:30AM

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Transience finished second in the contest "Cinquain Poetry"
March 18, 2019 at 12:13AM
    Irish Rain: Congratulations!!
    March 18, 2019 at 12:46AM
    MissMerri: Congratulations CD! A wonderful, meaningful poem.
    March 18, 2019 at 5:41AM
    Mrs. KT: Congratulations, Craig!

    March 18, 2019 at 8:35AM
    CD Richards: Thanks Irish, MM, Diane :)
    March 18, 2019 at 9:00AM
    BeasPeas: Hi Craig. Congrats on placing in the contest. That's great. Marilyn
    March 18, 2019 at 10:52AM
    Gloria ....: Congratulations, Craig. :))
    March 19, 2019 at 10:58PM

CD Richards: My bull***t meter has gone off scale, and I've encountered enough of it this past week to convince me it's time I took a break from this site. I won't be here to review, post new content or participate in the forums for some time. To my friends here, thanks for understanding.
March 17, 2019 at 2:15AM
    Gloria ....: Have you tried unplugging your bull**** metre and plugging it back in? ;-)
    March 17, 2019 at 2:57AM
    Sarkems: Aww, Craig ol' buddy, don't go. Just stay out of the forums for a while, eh.
    March 17, 2019 at 12:30PM
    mrsmajor: What are we supposed to do without you, Craig, I will surely miss you...I'll think of you often, and always wish you well...Hugs,
    March 17, 2019 at 12:35PM
    rama devi: Ah yes, Craig...I'm also only rarely active here these days. It's good to take a break (and then visit intermittently, periodically, because there are still quality interactions to be had).
    March 17, 2019 at 1:59PM
    DR DIP: this is sad to hear Craig I will have no Aussie partner in poetic crime if you leave
    As Gloria says the meter can be reset any time by turning it off and on at the switch.
    March 17, 2019 at 5:12PM
    kiwisteveh: Good plan, mate. No point pushing things if it doesn't feel right. Just remember we will always welcome you back. Co spend some quality time with your menagerie.
    March 18, 2019 at 2:59AM

CD Richards: If you feel like today (or tomorrow, for those whose clocks are behind ours) someone is stabbing you in the back-- it's probably because they are...

Beware the Ides of March!
March 14, 2019 at 8:17PM

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Congratulations! Less is more won the contest "ABC Poetry Contest"
March 10, 2019 at 12:13AM
    Irish Rain: Congratulations!!
    March 10, 2019 at 12:21AM
    Gloria ....: Way to go, Craig. :)
    March 10, 2019 at 12:43AM
    Sarkems: Woohoo, well done.
    March 10, 2019 at 6:16AM
    BeasPeas: Congratulations, Craig.
    March 10, 2019 at 7:58AM
    MissMerri: Congratulations Craig. Another pretty ribbon for you! Nice!
    March 10, 2019 at 12:57PM
    catch22: Congratulations Craig! It's well deserved.
    March 10, 2019 at 1:31PM
    Sugarray77: Congratulations, Craig!! Well deserved!

    March 10, 2019 at 3:37PM
    CD Richards: Thanks so much, everyone, for the lovely comments. I think a prize in a FS contest is almost better than winning the lottery. I can't actually make a proper comparison as yet, but I'd like to be in that position! :)
    March 10, 2019 at 3:50PM

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Not my house finished third in the contest "5-7-5 Poetry"
March 5, 2019 at 12:13AM
    Ms. Snyder: Congratulations for your win in this contest! Cheers, Fonda
    March 5, 2019 at 1:11AM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Fonda. And well done to you with your own entry! :)
    March 5, 2019 at 3:38PM

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Two's Complement finished third in the contest "Valentine Poem"
February 19, 2019 at 12:13AM
    bichonfrisegirl: Much deserved congrats to you, Craig!
    February 19, 2019 at 1:14AM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Connie. Most grateful :)
    February 19, 2019 at 7:16AM
    trimple: Congratulations, Craig.
    February 19, 2019 at 5:22PM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Tracey :)
    February 20, 2019 at 1:29AM
    BeasPeas: Hi Craig. Congratulations on placing in the contest. Marilyn
    February 20, 2019 at 12:15PM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Marilyn :)
    February 21, 2019 at 1:48AM

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: The survey finished third in the contest "100 Word Writing Contest"
February 17, 2019 at 12:13AM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Connie :)
    February 19, 2019 at 7:16AM

CD Richards: For those who aren't feeling the love...

The roses are wilted
The violets are dead
I need you like I need
A hole in the head

Not original - I heard it on TV this morning, and thought it was funny.

I liked this one too...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
But we've got a mortgage
So don't buy me any useless crap


Last year, my sweetheart told me nothing could be better than the present I got her for Valentine's Day...
so this year, that's exactly what she's getting.

(that one's mine)
February 13, 2019 at 3:52PM

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Lords of Creation finished third in the contest "Dribble Flash Fiction"
February 7, 2019 at 12:13AM
    bichonfrisegirl: Congrats, Craig! Well deserved!
    February 7, 2019 at 11:23AM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Connie :)
    February 7, 2019 at 3:28PM
    BeasPeas: Congratulations again. Marilyn
    February 8, 2019 at 12:33AM
    Gloria ....: Congrats to you, Craig. :)
    February 8, 2019 at 12:56AM
    CD Richards: Thanks Marilyn & Gloria.
    February 8, 2019 at 1:17AM
    Sarkems: Well deserved!
    February 8, 2019 at 12:26PM
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Craig!!
    February 8, 2019 at 4:58PM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Emma & Helen.
    February 8, 2019 at 9:54PM
    MissMerri: Congratulations CD! You keep collecting these pretty ribbons! Good for you!
    February 10, 2019 at 4:18AM

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Fade to Black finished second in the contest "Sonnet Poetry Contest"
February 3, 2019 at 12:13AM
    Irish Rain: Congratulations!!
    February 3, 2019 at 12:53AM
    phill doran: congratulations - really well written...
    February 3, 2019 at 2:41AM
    Ideasaregems-Dawn: I love it when I can almost predict the winners -- SO well-deserved, my friend! Congratulations!
    February 3, 2019 at 5:13AM
    Pam (respa): I am honored to share second place in the sonnet contest with you, Craig. Congratulations!
    February 3, 2019 at 2:57PM
    CD Richards: Thanks Irish, Phill, Dawn. And ditto, Pam :)
    February 3, 2019 at 5:11PM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Connie :)
    February 4, 2019 at 12:11PM
    BeasPeas: Congratulations, Craig. Marilyn
    February 4, 2019 at 8:37PM
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Craig!!
    February 6, 2019 at 7:01PM
    CD Richards: Thanks Marilyn & Helen :)
    February 7, 2019 at 12:49AM

CD Richards: Current status: twelve views, one review.

I think I'm going to set myself a new record here for lowest read-to-comment ratio. I'm noticing a pattern, the more something I write amuses me, the less anyone else will find it of interest. I suppose that says something; exactly what, I'm not sure.
January 26, 2019 at 9:03PM
    nor84: Views do not necessarily mean by a human being. Tom told me he wants that they can reflect attempted hits by a search engine. You might want to take this up with Tom to be sure that's still accurate.

    Views also do not mean someone read the work. If they glance at it, see that it's on a subject about which they have no interest, they move on.

    It's really nothing to be concerned about.
    January 26, 2019 at 11:27PM
    phill doran: pffft! Kid's stuff!
    Seriously, that is about average: I have noticed that the first 10-12 views often get me nothing and that a final ratio of 5:1 is Tom Jones (not unusual). A good return (for me) is 3:1 and I do have a couple of those but by the same token I have one piece with 739 views and 35 reviews: that's around a 5% hit rate. Of course, if you offer a dollar you tend to find that you piece is a work of brilliance and you have more friends than a lottery winner with a dodgy heart. Who'd a thunk it?
    Remember: genius is pain... so if readers find you painful then that's a good thing, right?
    January 27, 2019 at 2:05AM
    CD Richards: 3:1 is an excellent ROI. I'd settle for that as a regular thing. Concerned, I shall not be :)
    January 27, 2019 at 3:14AM
    DR DIP: I tellya what's wrong CD. You are a 'bludging' 'Drongo' 'bogan' Aussie haha
    Where IS Austalia anyway?

    Seriously it's all to do with fanning and the dollar value of your poem.
    2 cent poems are not very popular as they don't pay. If you promote just once it goes to 27 cents which may get you on a good day to page 5 maybe.

    The people who put in the hard reviewing yards will reap the rewards especially starting at the feature page where the first 12 poems may be worth up to one dollar.
    As I have said many times we are all slaves to the system. Those who have the time, effort and popularity will always be rewarded.
    I would really love to know how long the top 10 poets spend on here reviewing to be able to acquire enough member cent pumps to promote their work to feature page status so regularly.
    I know for the first four and a half years I would spend hours reviewing and constantly posted two poems every night.
    Yep it appears the secret is to just fan as many people as you can and hoping they will reciprocate.
    To those whose whole life is dedicated to FanStory and attaining high rankings through sheer determination and tenacious reviewing, kudos to them.
    They deserve everything they attain.

    I just wish that the title of 'ALL TIME BEST" for achieving over 26 reviews be re evaluated. It is rather a misleading word in my eyes.
    I would be lucky to get 10 views these days and maybe three reviews max, but deservedly so, as I never hardly promote past 'pot of gold status' which is only worth 27 cents to a reviewer which is chicken shit in their eyes.
    Tom is a very good business man to have set this up like this and kudos to him.

    After paying the yearly or two yearly subscription, I don't see why one should actually buy member cent pumps with real cash that always fascinates me.
    Hey, each to their own I suppose, Their money their life, their happiness to do so.

    respectfully dip
    January 27, 2019 at 3:51AM
    Turtle... who?: Ha! The real tell of the views ratio is in the contests where there's 38 voters and your work has 6 total views. (five of which came during the Up-Next cert.)

    Holy Crap!

    Now that leaves a mental mark. ; p

    Well, it's not the work that sucks, nobody even opened it to skip it, and the title isn't a string of vulgarity... so ... err... I wonder if it must just be me, then?

    So many vote without even opening all the entries. Not even a glance to see what's the possible payout.

    On a side note on high views, low reviews: Some of those views might be from fans who love to read your work, but don't always have time to give a review on the run, even if they enjoy it.

    Low views means no eyeballs.

    High views means somebody 'maybe' opened the work, doesn't even mean they read it. And some of those same somebody's may have gone OCD on the mouse and can refresh your work a dozen times. Yep... 12 views can come from the same person.

    I remember back when the views included your own viewing numbers. Those where the days when my views were up in the 200's. 192 of those views were likely me trying to spot errors, making a change... refreshing... trying to spot errors.

    January 27, 2019 at 8:08AM
    CD Richards: I'm so glad to know I'm not the only person who has OCD when it comes to stuff they have posted. I'm relieved the "self-refresh" counts aren't included these days. "The" or "a"? "That", or "which"? Decisions, decisions!
    January 27, 2019 at 2:27PM

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Persistence finished third in the contest "5-7-5 Poetry Writing"
January 13, 2019 at 12:13AM
    Irish Rain: Congratulations!!
    January 13, 2019 at 12:27AM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Irish :)
    January 13, 2019 at 3:11AM
    CD Richards: Much appreciated, Connie :)
    January 14, 2019 at 4:43PM
    Ideasaregems-Dawn: Ha! Tol' ya.:)))))) Congratulations, Craig.
    January 14, 2019 at 7:28PM
    CD Richards: Thanks, Dawn :)
    January 14, 2019 at 11:03PM
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Craig!!
    January 15, 2019 at 2:05AM

CD Richards: There's plenty of fish in the sea
It's time now to fly and be free
A new day is dawning
No need to be fawning
These PDAs really are twee
January 10, 2019 at 3:25PM

Short Works
Review Stars
#52 Ranked Author
#62 Ranked Poet
Poetry 62
Short Works 52
Reviewing 195
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few things last forever

Less is more
Sometimes, it's what's missing that counts...

Mountain Blue reached "Recognized" status.
June 20 at 2:08AM
Almost perfect reached "Recognized" status.
June 20 at 2:08AM
Free Minds reached "Recognized" status.
June 11 at 2:08AM
Black Dog reached "Recognized" status.
May 29 at 2:08AM
War reached "All Time Best" status.
April 26 at 5:25AM
War reached "Recognized" status.
April 26 at 2:08AM
Transience reached "Recognized" status.
March 18 at 2:08AM
Transience finished second in the contest "Cinquain Poetry"
March 18 at 12:13AM

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