Raking Time
When the weather turns, leaves begin to fall..
Pays: 8 points.
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Location: Sherwood, Arkansas
Gender: Female
Born: September 23, 1943
Member: Eternal Premier Author
Joined: December 2015

November 2018

"May those who love us, love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping."
(an old Celtic blessing)
6 of 130 fans
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Keith Chisolm
Warren Rodgers
6 of 116 writers
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Earl Corp
Princess Anetor
Warren Rodgers

My son, John, passed away on September 19, 2020. I appreciate everyone's love and support, and the lovely poems you wrote. I love you all.

Thanks to Jan for taking care of my clubs.

I don't know when I'll be back on FanStory.

September 27, 2020 at 4:30PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : YOU are welcome, Yvonne. Everyone loves you and misses your awesome writing. Please hurry back.
    September 27, 2020 at 4:32PM
    mrsmajor: You're very welcome, Yvonne, we all miss you, and look forward to your return...Take Care of yourself, this is a difficult time for you and your family...We'll be right here waiting for your return...God Bless You...
    September 27, 2020 at 7:55PM
    damommy: Thank you so much. Everyone's love and support have meant to much to me. People I've never met and still have so much concern. God bless everyone.
    September 27, 2020 at 10:51PM
    Shreyamsi(Saria): You are welcome, Yvonne.....we all miss you and your writing, It is a difficult and Sad time. We are always here for you and waiting for your return :)
    September 28, 2020 at 3:28AM
    Debra White: I?m so sorry for your loss. Sending love and sincere sympathy x
    September 28, 2020 at 6:36AM
    Mrs. KT: Words seem so empty, but please accept my sincere condolences for you and your family, Yvonne.
    September 28, 2020 at 11:11AM
    sandramitchell: Dear Yvonne, you are so welcome, I just wish this hadn't happened to you and your family. We'll be here when you feel you want to return. Take care, my friend. Lots of love. xxx
    September 28, 2020 at 11:59AM


I'm so busy I don't know whether I found a rope or lost my horse.

September 18, 2020 at 10:44PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : Straight from the horse's mouth, "Slow down and smell the oats."

    September 18, 2020 at 11:38PM
    AJ McCall: ha!
    September 19, 2020 at 2:35PM
    l.raven: Happy Birthday Yvonne...it said it on the cake...but when I pasted it...it dropped it...I hope you have a lovely day...love Linda xxoo
    September 23, 2020 at 4:19PM

When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. It's not what I expected.

I thought growing old would take longer.

My body is a temple, ancient and crumbling, probably cursed or haunted.

September 17, 2020 at 7:09PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : Well, the older generation is smarter!

    September 17, 2020 at 9:19PM
    mrsmajor: Yep, Jan, us old folks have learned to see only what we want to see when we look in the mirror...The thing is, what I see isn't looking back at me...hmmmm does that make sense...
    September 18, 2020 at 9:16AM
    damommy: I know what you mean. Something's gone wrong with all the mirrors at my house. lol
    September 18, 2020 at 12:13PM
    Colin John: When I was at school, I remember saying one day to friends," can you imagine being 50, now that is really old, hope I live that long"
    September 18, 2020 at 1:11PM
    damommy: Yes! I couldn't picture myself being 56 when the turn of the new century came. But there I was.
    September 18, 2020 at 1:56PM
    AJ McCall: Hahaha!
    September 18, 2020 at 2:26PM
    Miss Cookie Atkinson: I love the words to your poem what you wrote is oh so true. My only problem I don't think I could write a poem as well as you.
    It looks so hard to do.
    thank you for sharing.
    September 18, 2020 at 2:45PM
    damommy: Oh, Miss Cookie, my money is on you. You can do anything. 8-)
    September 18, 2020 at 7:33PM
    nor84: Who looks in a mirror anymore? When I was young, maybe 13 I said I wanted to be older. My dad, who was 50 years older than I was, looked at me sadly and said, "Norma, you'll be an old woman before you know it." Words of wisdom.
    September 18, 2020 at 11:31PM
    mrsmajor: Come on now, guys, and dolls, what are you going to do when you reach my age..I thought people gave up by the time they got to my age,86 but actually it brought into my life..a new friend, whose name is Arthur! bet none of you know him...lol
    September 19, 2020 at 10:22AM
    Jannypan (Jan) : Mrs. Major,
    Could you be referring to arthiristis? Hopefully, I'm mistaken.
    September 19, 2020 at 7:03PM
    mrsmajor: No Jan, you're not mistaken, Arthur wasn't invited, but he came on his own..and he won't leave...lol
    I promise I won't send him your way, he's creepy!
    September 20, 2020 at 2:31PM


I yelled downstairs to my husband and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"

"No," he replied.

I said, "How about now?"

September 15, 2020 at 10:39PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : Well, he probably deserved that!

    September 15, 2020 at 11:03PM
    AJ McCall: Haha! Clever!
    September 16, 2020 at 9:16AM
    trimple: Brilliant! :)
    September 16, 2020 at 9:42AM
    mrsmajor: Well, he must have deserved it...ha ha
    September 16, 2020 at 3:09PM
    damommy: He did! hahahahaha
    September 16, 2020 at 6:38PM

4 out of 3 three people struggle with math.

Remember how when you were little you could just rip off your diaper and run around naked and everyone thought it was cute and funny? Anyway, I need bail money.

September 14, 2020 at 2:22PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : Well, 6 out of 5 won't get this.
    Love it!

    September 14, 2020 at 3:31PM
    AJ McCall: Hahaha!
    September 14, 2020 at 6:30PM
    mrsmajor: Now, Now, Yvonne, you know that it's really one dozen people out of 10 that struggle with math..lol
    September 14, 2020 at 9:29PM


My date last night was really awesome. We had a definite spark and pretty soon, he was lying at my feet. I love my new taser.

September 13, 2020 at 11:06AM
    AJ McCall: Hahaha! Oh, no... that was so unexpected! Where do you get these jokes?
    September 13, 2020 at 11:49AM
    mrsmajor: Oh shucks, Yvonne, I thought you were talking about a dog, or a cat..I didn't get that one until the very end...Where do you get these jokes, they sure keep me thinking...Ha Ha
    September 13, 2020 at 12:50PM
    September 13, 2020 at 5:40PM
    damommy: As long as y'all keep enjoying them, I'll keep posting them. I'm so glad you get a laugh.
    September 13, 2020 at 5:40PM
    mrsmajor: Yvonne, sometime we need a smile, and a laugh is even better..Keep them coming!
    September 13, 2020 at 11:47PM

damommy: Jannypan (Jan) wants to apologize for not getting back to her reviews. Her brother, Tim, is in the hospital after discovering he has a brain tumor. We don't know any information yet. She will get to her reviews as time permits. Please pray for Tim and Jan and family.
September 12, 2020 at 12:25PM
    AJ McCall: My heart goes out to Jan. I hope that they stay safe and well, and God will get them through this hard time. Please let her know that she is in my prayers.
    September 12, 2020 at 3:03PM
    Colin John: This is sad news for all at this time, I hope he can get the best of help he needs to recover fully.
    September 12, 2020 at 4:21PM
    Irish Rain: So very sorry Miss Jan. Prayers for your brother and your family.
    September 12, 2020 at 8:06PM
    mrsmajor: I am so very sorry to hear this sad news. I hope that her brother,Tim, receives the very best of care, and
    recovers..I will keep Jan, and her family in my Prayers...please let her know that...she's not alone, God's with her at this difficult time, and so are those of us that care for her..Victoria
    September 12, 2020 at 8:39PM
    September 12, 2020 at 9:36PM
    damommy: I will be sure to tell her of your responses to her in her time of trouble. I know she thanks you all for your concern and for your prayers.
    September 12, 2020 at 9:36PM


Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them? -- Rose Kennedy

An ironing board is a surf board that gave up on its dreams and went to work.

September 11, 2020 at 7:36PM
    damommy: Hahahaha. How funny.
    September 11, 2020 at 9:10PM
    AJ McCall: haha!
    September 12, 2020 at 3:04PM


I freaked out the electrician by opening the door naked. I couldn't tell what gave him the bigger shock -- the fact that I was naked, or that I got into his house.

The snowman sniffs and says, "Hmmm, funny, I smell carrots."

September 10, 2020 at 2:34PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : Let it Snow, Let it Snow. Let it Snow.

    September 10, 2020 at 2:47PM
    damommy: I'm ready.
    September 10, 2020 at 6:06PM
    mrsmajor: I can deal with that, you can always put on that extra smile, and a go have some fun...In the snow!
    September 11, 2020 at 8:44AM


A dog sits in a bar, sipping a bourbon. A customer walks up to him and says, "It's not often that I see a drinking bourbon here!" The dog replies, "Yeah, hardly a surprise at these prices."

What do you get when you cross a Doberman and a hyena? No idea, but if it laughs, I join in.

September 8, 2020 at 2:53PM
    mrsmajor: I can join you, Yvonne, Ha Ha!
    September 9, 2020 at 8:32AM


I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Do crabs think we walk sideways?

September 6, 2020 at 2:46PM
    AJ McCall: Hahaha! That is hilarious! But you know what, the bottom your feet also find legos and toy soldiers!
    September 6, 2020 at 2:53PM
    mrsmajor: I did win once, years ago, but they took almost half of it before they
    even gave me the check...no it wasn't a BIG one, but it was surely more than I had before I won..so I
    was a happy camper...where is it now?...Gone with the wind!!
    September 7, 2020 at 11:22PM
    shelley kaye: you see me running.... you'd better run too because there is something scary chasing me
    September 9, 2020 at 11:20AM


Do not let them take your temperature going into the store! It's a scam! They're erasing your memory. I went for bread and eggs, but came home with Blue Bell Ice Cream and Snickers.

September 3, 2020 at 2:59PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : YUM! Even if there was a mistake!

    September 3, 2020 at 4:47PM
    Colin John: Good one
    September 3, 2020 at 5:16PM
    mrsmajor: You're inner self spoke loudly and clearly...Give me Ice Cream, and give me Candy...Now!...Yummy...
    September 4, 2020 at 9:05AM


I wonder on how many animals' backs did we humans have to jump until we found that horses are OK with it.

September 1, 2020 at 10:26PM


We never really grow up.... we only learn how to act in public.

My computer went down today, and I had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.

What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

August 28, 2020 at 7:07PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : These are hilarious!
    We all need to laugh more.
    Thanks, Yvonne.
    August 28, 2020 at 7:41PM


I told my suitcases there will be no vacation this years. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

August 27, 2020 at 1:31PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : Well, that knocked the stuffing out of us!

    August 27, 2020 at 2:18PM
    mrsmajor: My baggage won't even speak to me...just stands by the door, staring at me...I'm in trouble...help! lol
    August 27, 2020 at 6:08PM
    damommy: Hahaha. Good one.
    August 28, 2020 at 1:30PM

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#21 Ranked Author
#25 Ranked Poet
#37 Ranked Reviewer
Poetry 25
Short Works 21
Reviewing 37
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