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Location: Sherwood, Arkansas
Gender: Female
Born: September 23, 1943
Member: Eternal Premier Author
Joined: December 2015

November 2018

"May those who love us, love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping."
(an old Celtic blessing)
6 of 121 fans
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Lu Saluna
Miss Cookie Atkinson
Drew Delaney
Ben Colder
Michael McCottry Bell Jr
6 of 105 writers
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Drew Delaney
Ben Colder
Michael McCottry Bell Jr
Cindy Warren

You know where the general keeps his armies?

Up his sleevies.

April 6, 2020 at 3:27PM
    Under the shoulder pads in his jacket....
    April 6, 2020 at 6:51PM

I'm officially old. I just spent ten minutes chasing an eye floater with a fly swatter.

April 5, 2020 at 1:46PM
    sandramitchell: LOL! Yvonne, you are so funny! It took me a moment to 'get' it, but then I howled with laughter! :))
    April 7, 2020 at 4:59AM
    LIJ Red: My eye doc said "The critters were always there, you just couldn't see 'em for the cataracts."
    April 7, 2020 at 10:50AM


My cleaning lady just called and told me she will be working from home and will send me instructions on what to do.

April 2, 2020 at 2:05PM
    mrsmajor: Well, with those instructions I'd do the job myself and fire her...forever...
    April 2, 2020 at 2:16PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : Thanks for the laugh1 She sounds like MollyMade her living and has no more giving.
    April 2, 2020 at 2:27PM
    Jesse James Doty: Love it! What about the dry cleaners?
    April 5, 2020 at 1:30AM

I see people around my age mountain climbing. I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance!

March 31, 2020 at 1:44PM
    mrsmajor: Ha ha, I'm lucky to be able to stand up, and even try!...
    March 31, 2020 at 1:55PM
    RJN: at a loss for
    March 31, 2020 at 4:11PM
    Gypsymooncat: I also view that as a major achievement. The undies that is lol! Love your profile thoughts!
    April 1, 2020 at 11:51PM
    DR DIP: I like doing the Mr Bean trick lol
    April 2, 2020 at 1:12AM

To go to the grocery store, they said a mask and gloves were enough. They lied! Everyone else had clothes on!

March 30, 2020 at 2:21PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : Quick, grab a roll of paper towels to cover . . . oh well, nice thought . . .
    March 30, 2020 at 2:31PM
    juliaSjames: Love your wit! Humour is the best antidote for stress.
    March 30, 2020 at 2:35PM
    Jen Vasquez: That was a good one... I imagined the whole thing... I
    March 31, 2020 at 1:39AM
    mrsmajor: Thanks, humor certainly has a place in our lives, especially now, that was a good one.
    March 31, 2020 at 12:39PM
    March 31, 2020 at 1:40PM
    damommy: I'm so glad you all enjoyed this.
    March 31, 2020 at 1:41PM


8:00 p.m. is now the official time to remove your day pajamas and put on your night pajamas.

March 29, 2020 at 3:02PM
    March 29, 2020 at 3:15PM
    Jen Vasquez: Yessss.... You are absolutely right!! Pajamas for the day... A pair for the afternoon/evening and then put on my favorite ones for bed time
    March 31, 2020 at 1:41AM

damommy: During this quarantine, my thoughts go out for all those poor married men who've spent months telling the wife, "I'll do that when I have time."

March 25, 2020 at 2:11PM
    sandramitchell: LOL!! You should see the list I've given my husband! He has nowhere to hide, lol.
    March 25, 2020 at 2:47PM
    DR DIP: dont forget the line by the wives 'not tonight honey I don't have the time or the inclination" could be a lot of trade offs i'd say haha

    My list is over a foolscap long but the surf has been good lately lol
    March 25, 2020 at 9:56PM


Please forgive me if I don't get any reviewing done for a few days. I injured my left hand yesterday and typing is very difficult using one hand.

March 12, 2020 at 5:27PM
    mrsmajor: Take Care, I hope all goes well for you...
    March 13, 2020 at 12:41AM
    lyenochka: Totally understand, Yvonne! Please take care of your hand! ♥
    March 14, 2020 at 3:49PM
    lyenochka: Totally understand, Yvonne! Please take care of your hand! ♥
    March 14, 2020 at 3:49PM


I shot a turkey yesterday. It scared the heck out of the other customers at the meat counter.

March 9, 2020 at 1:34PM
    DR DIP: I went fishing and got a lot of bites lol
    March 12, 2020 at 1:10AM


Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. Okay, FINE. It was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

February 29, 2020 at 7:20PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : I'm on a seafood diet--see food and eat!
    February 29, 2020 at 9:50PM


When I start to sing, my family goes out and does some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

February 25, 2020 at 12:29PM
    mrsmajor: Why do they do that, Yvonne, are you an Opera singer? lol
    February 25, 2020 at 3:47PM
    damommy: Hardly! lol.
    February 25, 2020 at 6:33PM
    Gypsymooncat: When I start to sing, my partner takes the dog for a walk...
    February 27, 2020 at 4:09PM
    Gypsymooncat: When I start to sing, my partner takes the dog for a walk...
    February 27, 2020 at 4:09PM
    Gypsymooncat: When I start to sing, my partner takes the dog for a walk...
    February 27, 2020 at 4:10PM
    Gypsymooncat: Sorry that got posted three times!
    February 28, 2020 at 10:18PM


Q: How do you make antifreeze?

A: You steal her pajamas.

February 20, 2020 at 11:25PM
    Gypsymooncat: Lol, that's a good one!
    February 21, 2020 at 4:20PM
    Ideasaregems-Dawn: Put her outside without a coat-- in winter-- then douse her with water. :) LOL.
    February 22, 2020 at 2:30PM
    DR DIP: Don't put her near a radiator
    February 24, 2020 at 8:49AM


My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed. I never knew they worked.

February 15, 2020 at 11:43PM
    DR DIP: hehe you're funny Yvonne
    Suppose I should be careful what I wish for around here.
    February 16, 2020 at 3:11AM
    Gypsymooncat: Hahahaha, even though I got along with my ex-mother in law most of the time, sometimes I wished for a working wishing well! This made me laugh out loud!
    February 17, 2020 at 6:45PM
    sandramitchell: LOL, Yvonne you curl my up laughing, you are so funny!! LOL xxx
    February 20, 2020 at 5:25PM


The daffodils have buds and I expect snow any day. It always happens that way, what I call the Daffodil and Snow Tire Festival. lol.

February 12, 2020 at 5:41PM
    EveLovell: hahaha ? you are funny. I read this the other day but didn't get it. Today, the penny has dropped, lol. Have a good day, Eve.
    February 14, 2020 at 9:15PM


I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

February 8, 2020 at 2:45PM
    DR DIP: hehe too funny
    February 8, 2020 at 7:23PM
    Gypsymooncat: Haha, that's gold!
    February 9, 2020 at 10:59PM
    sandramitchell: You are hilarious, Yvonne!!! LOL!
    February 10, 2020 at 1:37PM

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#28 Ranked Poet
#49 Ranked Reviewer
Poetry 28
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