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November 2018
"May those who love us, love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping."
(an old Celtic blessing) |
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damommy:
When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, 'Strip down, facing me.'
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as he instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out he was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
I still don't think I looked that bad.
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 January 16, 2020 at 5:59PM
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DR DIP: hehe too funny
dip
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January 16, 2020 at 6:30PM
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Kerry Robinson: Haha-ha😂🤣🤣
That?s hilarious, I can?t stop laughing.
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January 16, 2020 at 10:06PM
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| Katelynn Magee: hahaha. i have to help my mom insert her card all the time this is too funny!
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January 17, 2020 at 1:32AM
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juliaSjames: Hilarious. LOLOL
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January 17, 2020 at 11:33AM
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| damommy: Thanks to you all. I'm so glad you found it as funny as I did.
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January 17, 2020 at 1:12PM
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| mrsmajor: Ha Ha that's the funniest think I've heard in a while...LOL
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January 22, 2020 at 12:41PM
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| D.F. Wood: OMG, you had me going. I was wondering "WHAT". You have made my day by bringing me a smile. Thank you.
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January 22, 2020 at 1:50PM
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| sandramitchell: LOL!! Yvonne you are soooo funny, the twist at the end had me screeching with laughter!! I really believed you for a while there! Lol.
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January 23, 2020 at 11:26AM
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damommy:
If you ever see me running, run like hell, too. I?m far too lazy to be running without a good reason.
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January 7, 2020 at 2:38PM
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damommy:
The person who thought it?s a good idea to put the light switch outside of the bathroom clearly didn?t have any siblings.
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January 5, 2020 at 7:01PM
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| giraffmang: Guilty as charged...
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January 6, 2020 at 2:47AM
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Kerry Robinson: That's really funny. lol
I for some weird reason have one to the bathroom ceiling light in my kitchen. There is another in the bathroom which is for lights above the vanity. It's so strange.
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January 6, 2020 at 2:35PM
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damommy:
I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.
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December 14, 2019 at 2:00PM
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| sandramitchell: LOL! I have the same problem, Yvonne, it's so frustrating, isn't it? lol!!!
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December 19, 2019 at 1:25PM
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damommy:
Ron Chester, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 1 AM and was asked where he was going at that time of night.
Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
Ron replied, "That would be my wife."
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November 23, 2019 at 6:26PM
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| Ms. Snyder: HAHAHAHAHA - I absolutely loved this joke! Cheers
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November 24, 2019 at 11:37PM
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| Bro0ksi8: That is just tooooooo funny.
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December 14, 2019 at 10:00AM
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damommy:
A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas. It was a disaster! The offspring were the laughingstock of the community.
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November 22, 2019 at 4:32PM
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| sandramitchell: LOL!!!! What are you on, Yvonne?? I'd like some of it? LOL!
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November 22, 2019 at 5:36PM
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damommy:
Don?t bother walking a mile in my shoes, that would be boring.
Spend 30 seconds in my head, that?ll freak you right out.
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November 11, 2019 at 2:05PM
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| EveLovell: hahaahah love it, damommy, and as for my brain, ditto, lol
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November 11, 2019 at 4:57PM
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damommy:
Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere that makes your heart race and changes you forever . . . we call these people cops.
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November 5, 2019 at 12:53PM
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| WryWriter: Or heroes.
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November 5, 2019 at 4:17PM
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| Bro0ksi8: Especially, when you are driving your husbands car and you can't remember where the registration is located.
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December 14, 2019 at 10:04AM
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damommy:
I asked my son if he'd seen my newspaper. He told me that newspapers are old school. He said people use tablets and iPads today, and handed me his iPad. That fly didn't stand a chance.
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October 31, 2019 at 1:37PM
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| Pantygynt: Nor did the iPad I imagine!
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October 31, 2019 at 2:50PM
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| damommy: Right! lol
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October 31, 2019 at 6:58PM
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damommy:
Check out scholarship for Pantygynt's poetry class!!! Go to the 'Clubs' tab under 'Social' tab.
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October 28, 2019 at 9:23PM
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damommy:
I had a really bad day yesterday.
First, my ex got run over by a bus.
Then, I got fired from my job as a bus driver.
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October 27, 2019 at 4:36PM
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| CD Richards: LOL pinching it for sure.
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October 27, 2019 at 9:48PM
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| damommy: Thanks for reading this. I'm glad it gave you a laugh.
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October 28, 2019 at 6:40PM
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damommy:
Last night, I dreamed I was walking on the beach. I guess that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.
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October 17, 2019 at 12:54PM
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| WryWriter: Tooo funnyyy!!
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October 18, 2019 at 2:25AM
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| alf collier: Oh wow, hope that was sand between your toes!!
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October 21, 2019 at 6:05PM
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damommy:
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper, and you get more feet.
- Rita Rudner
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October 9, 2019 at 7:22PM
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| Jannypan (Jan) : Thanks for sharing a laugh.
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October 9, 2019 at 9:48PM
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| jlsavell: So cute, you will love those little critters. I have a few.
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October 10, 2019 at 11:03AM
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damommy:
A bowl of rice is great if you're hungry and want 2,000 of something.
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September 28, 2019 at 12:09AM
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| Jannypan (Jan) : Well, those 2,000 little sticks need something to hold them together like 2,000 chocolate chip cookies. You know 1 to 1 correlation.
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September 28, 2019 at 1:51AM
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| damommy: hahahaha
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September 28, 2019 at 12:31PM
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| JLR: I have resubmitted the free verse with revisions JLR (Jim)
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September 29, 2019 at 9:54AM
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damommy:
I just talked with our good friend Douglas Paul. He's determined to be up and about soon. His attitude is an inspiration! Let's pray that he will.
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September 26, 2019 at 2:43PM
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| Jannypan (Jan) : My prayers are with him! Thank you for the update.
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September 26, 2019 at 2:51PM
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| Poetry |
16
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| Reviewing |
37
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 | The Dreamer reached "All Time Best" status. | January 18 at 5:25AM
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 | The Dreamer reached "Recognized" status. | January 17 at 2:08AM
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| Crows reached "All Time Best" status. | January 12 at 5:25AM
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| Crows reached "Recognized" status. | January 11 at 10:08AM
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| Not Tonight! reached "Recognized" status. | January 10 at 2:08AM
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