Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Elizabeth Emerald
Location: Library, mostly
Gender: Female
Born: Too young/old to recall
Interests: Not enough space to list all m
Member: Eternal Premier Author
Joined: January 2020
Kindly indulge my sundry (a)musings re living and loving. Please pass my words--wise and otherwise--to anyone who might relate and enjoy. Cheers. I GENERALLY WRITE IN THE FIRST PERSON, EVEN FICTION.

Be bold! Go forth; behold the Myriad Meanderings Amidst My Twisted Mind. You will find:

SPOUTINGS: Mouthing off, on issues important and otherwise

HAPPILY-NEVER-AFTERS: Fairy Tales Beheaded

DOUBLE-PLAYS: Two--or more--sides to each story

DISPOSSESSION: Rummaging amidst the Hard-to-Discard files

FUTURE SHOCKS: Time, alas, marches on

GOING...GOING...GONE: Post-mortem reflections on a former friendship

OFF AND RUNNING: For fellow road warriors, re racing, pacing, placing

ROUND ROBIN: Parody Play Starring Six "Parrots" in Parallel

POLITICAL FOLLIES: Four-Way Farce featuring this infamous ensemble of consummate actors. God Help America.
6 of 28 fans
See All
Margaret Bednar
Kenneth Gagne
Jessica Bell
Raffaelina Lowcock
Ashtar Zaidi
6 of 24 writers
See All
Margaret Bednar
Kenneth Gagne
Jessica Bell
Raffaelina Lowcock
Elizabeth Emerald: Many of us grouse that masks are suffocating; figuratively speaking, of course. We can surely breathe; air passes freely in and out, as does the coronavirus.

They tell us we must wear masks to "play it safe."

Ready to take safety seriously?

Do this instead: When approaching others on the street, keep a hand free so as to clap it over your mouth while pinching your nose with thumb and forefinger.

You'll want to pass at a brisk clip; after all, how long can one keep from drawing a breath? Considerably longer than is comfortable; murder by suffocation takes a couple of minutes.
May 20, 2020 at 2:09AM
    Gypsymooncat: I like your advice! I'll try that :) Then again, I might cross the road and hope there's no-one over there...
    May 24, 2020 at 9:22PM

Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations to Dolly's Poems for her upgrade to #1 reviewer. Upon her achieving such lofty status, the Grim Reaper icon was bequeathed her. I propose that this fearsome figure--who wields a scythe suitable for star-smashing--be swapped out for a friendly one. Perhaps a fairy princess who sprinkles magic stardust with a cheerful smile--apropos of Dolly, who always strews such wonderful words of encouragement along with a generous distribution of sparklers.
May 14, 2020 at 3:21AM
    Dolly'sPoems: Thank you Elizabeth for your sweet words here, I hope to continue to sprinkle my magical fairy dust, love Dolly x
    May 14, 2020 at 3:36AM

Elizabeth Emerald: Given that reviewer nominations generally vanish down the rabbit hole, I wish to commend Sarkems for an astute critique. There was a logical flaw in my story, which I'd been hesitant to post because something had seemed "off," yet I couldn't pin it down. SARKEMS did. I amended the piece forthwith.
April 27, 2020 at 11:37PM
    Sarkems: Aww thank you, that's very sweet
    April 28, 2020 at 3:30AM

Elizabeth Emerald: I wish to publicly laud Dina Bruun for a six-star review. Meaning six-stars to her for her four-stars to me. Dina wrote a painstaking critique of my script; she warmly expressed the many things she liked, and made several detailed suggestions for improvement. Her advice was spot on; I wasted no time implementing her apt recommendations, being eager to offer my best to the rest. As regards her extensive effort in my behalf Dina went above and beyond; as regards her giving a balanced review Dina did exactly as we are supposed to do. Kudos to her. As Freudians (probably don't really) say--sometimes a cigar is just a cigar; I say--sometimes "good" means good.

...On the flip side...sometimes "good" means: THIS SUCKS! I recently got a four-star review for a parody piece that taken on face value was not worthy of even a one. The reader gave up in disgust three lines into my monstrosity in which (per the footnote) I spew utter nonsense in a jumble of atrocious grammar and usage.
April 22, 2020 at 12:25PM
    rama devi: Thanks for highlighting a great review with your gratitude. So many people misinterpret constructive critique as being 'negative' (destructive). It's a wonderful gesture to spotlight Dina for her extensive constructive critique. I gave her a thumb too!
    April 22, 2020 at 4:45PM

Elizabeth Emerald: I am frustrated at being MUTEd after having given a three-star review, shortly after which I set out in search of other pieces by the author that would merit high-fives and found myself locked out. A shame, surely I would have found worthy works amidst her portfolio--she'd have more than made up her stars.
March 29, 2020 at 6:20PM
    1WorldforAll: Don't worry, it is very hard to do anything here. It is a friendly fiver club run by mostly old men and women who give endless fivers with flattery, you have no idea how many times I've been muted for a four, but I have a care factor of zero, we're here to be read, not to get ratings. Keep giving the three's and fours. I respect you for it. It is meant to be a writing site, but alas, it is really a friendly fiver club.
    March 29, 2020 at 7:31PM
    rama devi: Warm welcome to Fanstory. You'll find a full spectrum here. Some are here to share socially, while some are here to improve in the craft. As a recognized reviewer, I'm a veteran of being muted for offering in depth critique and honest ratings. But you'll find that many will be grateful for the substantive reviews and the muters are a minority. Please continue to review with such integrity and intelligence! :) I'm less active here than in previous years. We need a new recognized reviewer!
    April 6, 2020 at 3:50AM

Elizabeth Emerald: To be sung to Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

Where have all the sixes gone?
Long time since I got one
Where have all the sixes gone?
Lord hear my plea

Where have all the sixes gone?
Gone to others, every one
When will they ever learn!
Save some for me!

Where have all the sixes gone?
Good news: they changed the rule!
They're sure to come my way
Since there's no cap

Where have all the sixes gone?
Alas, I still have none
When will I ever learn
My work's mere pap

March 20, 2020 at 4:53PM
    Jesse James Doty: Awww, how sad. Hang in there, you'll receive what you're due, soon enough, I'm sure.
    March 21, 2020 at 1:52AM
    Gypsymooncat: I gave you one before I even read your sad parody lol
    March 21, 2020 at 6:37AM
    LaRosa: You can be so funny, Elizabeth. You've created an enjoyable new set of lyrics for the song. I could hear the melody all the way through.
    Sixes rule has been changed? No cap? I guess I've been gone too long, didn't know. Or is it a joke? Because I still didn't have many sixes to give out. By the time I read your little stories, I was out again. Sorry, not because you haven't deserved 'em!
    March 23, 2020 at 9:25PM
    Aussie: Save them up sunshine!
    March 25, 2020 at 12:43AM

Elizabeth Emerald: Sung to My Sharona, The Knack 1979

When ya gonna get to me, my Corona?
Is it just a matter of time Corona?

You're never gonna stop, such a dirty brand
Gotta stay away from the touch of an un-washed hand

M-M-M-My Corona!

Oooh, I'm afraid: Next it's me
Wish it were a game in my mind Corona
Can it be: Destiny?
You're falling down upon us from the sky, Corona

M-M-M-My Corona!

Oooh, it's going up, going up
How my fever burns
We're all throwing up, throwing up
Taking toilet turns

M-M-M-My Corona!

March 19, 2020 at 12:44PM
    LisaMay: That is a great song - you had me singing along to the tune and the new words. We both clearly show a complete lack of decorum and taste and will probably be shunned for our indelicacy and apparent lack of compassion to those who are suffering. I laugh in the face of adversity. It's nice to have met a kindred pisstaker.
    March 19, 2020 at 6:19PM
    Gypsymooncat: Ah it's so good to see some are trying to keep morale up and stop the panic.

    Elizabeth, thanks for the smile and the song!

    LisaMay...lack of decorum and taste? Indelicacy? HUMPH. I like lack of decorum, taste and indelicacy. It's FUN. Not like "proper behaviour".

    It'll be interesting to see if the "do-gooders" pop in and comment. It'll be VERY interesting...
    March 19, 2020 at 8:15PM
    Jesse James Doty: I like this, too. I sang along with it as I read it. Now, I can't get that tune out of my head. Oh well, it's a great earworm.
    March 21, 2020 at 1:58AM

Elizabeth Emerald: Rename proposal: Fan-Story Land to Five-Starry Land.

Alas, after a six-week struggle, I too have succumbed to High-Five Fever.

Check out the ranked writers list. Everyone gets an "A" plus-or-minus. When I was in grammar school, "A" stood for "average." Seems that's the case here as well.
March 19, 2020 at 12:14PM
    LisaMay: They say that cream rises, but so does scum. The top level does not always mean quality (says she, floating along in la la land at the top of short writes.)
    March 19, 2020 at 6:17PM

Elizabeth Emerald: Not that it's up for your vote
Still, a verse worthy of note
Been brewing two days
On the Corona craze
Alas, I must pay to promote

March 18, 2020 at 12:53PM
    LisaMay: Money still makes the world go round unfortunately. It might change though when we run out of it through being unemployed, sick, or dead.
    March 19, 2020 at 6:15PM

Elizabeth Emerald: Tell me, somebody: Have I gone ghost?
No one has looked at my post
My mood: downward spiral
It should surely go viral
This terse verse of which I can boast

March 18, 2020 at 11:45AM
    LisaMay: Keep your terse verses coming - a cry in the dark is still self expression.
    March 19, 2020 at 6:13PM

Elizabeth Emerald: This bitch of a critter Corona
Has turned each of us into a loner
It's OK to a point
Watch the tube, toke a joint
But who's there to do with my boner?
March 17, 2020 at 6:18PM
    March 19, 2020 at 6:12PM

Elizabeth Emerald: Rolling randily 'round on the rug
Just last week, now not even a hug
God forbid, stick it in her
Cries the erstwhile sinner:
Corona's a bitch of a bug
March 17, 2020 at 12:29PM
    LisaMay: This looks a little lonely here with no comment... i think you've scared everyone off. Luckily I enjoy a healthy sense of the ridiculous.
    March 19, 2020 at 6:12PM

Elizabeth Emerald: One of my very first reviews was 4-stars. I was pleased by the feedback; the reviewer said what he liked about the piece and I took GOOD at face value. Shortly thereafter I got another 4-star review where the reviewer made clear his GOOD was intended as a demerit.

And so began my introduction to our ratings system, where GOOD is the new BAD. I expounded upon this in my profile; I later released my thoughts under the title: Next: Exceptionally Exceptional? (subtitle: Must we be haunted by spectral stars?)

I'm bringing this up again now because I just got ALL-CAPS BLASTED by a poet for "only" 4-stars, which in our crazy world is perceived as "taking away" one due her.

Funny, have you noticed that even "revenge reviews" (and I've had a couple) are 3-stars--as if to go lower would be superfluous! Cheers. LIZ
March 13, 2020 at 5:07PM
    Aussie: The proof is in the pudding. The mere fact you have risen to number 15 poet in such a short time; don't worry about the four stars you are on your way girl!
    March 15, 2020 at 9:33PM
    Elizabeth Emerald: My thanks for your encouraging words. Alas, that 15 is not for poetry--I am in the 200-sector, half-a-hair north of the south pole. Cheers. LIZ
    March 17, 2020 at 1:09PM

Elizabeth Emerald: In Fanstory Land, Five is the New Three, and Good is the new Bad.

I'm less than a week old in this strange world and have already submitted three pieces for which I have received a total of 15 reviews.

One of my reviews was Good. I was pleased: The reviewer specified a section he found "interesting and informative."

Yesterday---having had to spend 75 real dollars to promote my own work---I began to review others' submissions, not only to earn $ but also out of genuine interest.

Curious to see other reviews of a piece, I began to peruse them.
I was astounded to see that virtually all were Excellent or Exceptional. One author, in response to a Good review, requested that the reviewer replace the star that she "took away," which the author assumed was on account of the typos the reviewer helpfully pointed out. Apparently, it didn't occur to the author that the reviewer simply did not deem the work Excellent. (P.S. The reviewer gave the star "back.")

This perception of having one star taken rather than four stars given is reinforced by the graphics that depict shattered phantom stars---as if a vengeful reviewer had smashed them. Must we be haunted by spectral stars? I propose that we sweep away the ghostly shards and let the three or four stars shine.

I'm all for keeping it positive. Indeed, in all the pieces I reviewed, I managed to muster enthusiasm in my words, regardless of the Average rankings I saw fit to assign some.

The default position is, by definition, Average. For that reason, I would never presume that a piece is Below Average. If I consider it Good or Excellent I will say so---I am pleased to have done just that for several so far.

Cheers. (Regarding which Three is Good!)

January 21, 2020 at 6:11PM
    JP Writer: You expressed this perfectly, and you are the first writer on this site I will follow! I have so far assigned only one six star, and when I give four or fewer, I try to find something honestly positive about the piece, along with whatever constructive criticism and suggestions. I read each piece at least twice and try to be thoughtful. I'm often surprised when I see pieces that receive five or six stars that have many flaws, either with grammar, syntax, spelling or overly flowery language, bloated poems or stories that fall very flat. I'm a professional writer and editor and believe that one cannot grow without being able to take in criticism with an open spirit.
    February 19, 2020 at 7:38PM

Short Works
Review Stars
#8 Ranked Author
#5 Ranked Script Writer
#18 Ranked Reviewer
Poetry 249 (+3)
Short Works 8
Scripts 5
Reviewing 18
Most Recent Posts
See All
A Force to be Reckoned With: #1
Mother of all storms!

Heads Up: The Eyes Have It
Two-for-one: judge as you will

After You
Conditional love

Fate takes an untimely break

Quarter-cup of coffee: extra-extra light

Quarter-cup of coffee: extra-extra light

Has the Lady Sung her Last?
Corona-ry Attack: Prospects are grim

Mission Accomplished
Now I--and each piece--can rest in peace

Third Time's No Charm reached "Recognized" status.
March 30 at 2:08AM
Profile-r Paying for Post-age reached "All Time Best" status.
March 29 at 5:25AM
Profile-r Paying for Post-age reached "Recognized" status.
March 22 at 2:08AM
V-Day Ditty reached "All Time Best" status.
February 13 at 5:25AM
V-Day Ditty reached "Recognized" status.
February 13 at 2:08AM

Become A Fan

  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2014, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Statement