Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Elizabeth Emerald
Location: Library, mostly
Gender: Female
Born: Too young/old to recall
Interests: Not enough space to list all m
Member: Eternal Account
Joined: January 2020
Kindly indulge my sundry (a)musings re living and loving. Please pass my words--wise and otherwise--to anyone who might relate and enjoy. Cheers. I GENERALLY WRITE IN THE FIRST PERSON, EVEN FICTION.

Be bold! Go forth; behold the Myriad Meanderings Amidst My Twisted Mind. You will find:

SPOUTINGS: Mouthing off, on issues important and otherwise

HAPPILY-NEVER-AFTERS: Fairy Tales Beheaded

DOUBLE-PLAYS: Two--or more--sides to each story

DISPOSSESSION: Rummaging amidst the Hard-to-Discard files

FUTURE SHOCKS: Time, alas, marches on

GOING...GOING...GONE: Post-mortem reflections on a former friendship

OFF AND RUNNING: For fellow road warriors, re racing, pacing, placing

ROUND ROBIN: Parody Play Starring Six "Parrots" in Parallel

POLITICAL FOLLIES: Four-Way Farce featuring this infamous ensemble of consummate actors. God Help America.
6 of 97 fans
See All
Richard Montfort Cary
Megan Mary
Jumbo J
Nicholas Guay
6 of 103 writers
See All
T B Botts
Richard Montfort Cary
Megan Mary
Jumbo J
Elizabeth Emerald: A few hours ago, my PC got infected by the virtual equivalent of the coronavirus, consequential to which was mandatory isolation. It was locked down, purportedly for my protection. "Microsoft" generated an ominous message: "Windows Defender Security Code - threat detected - Trojan spyware - call tech support 888?896?8213 immediately to unlock your PC - do not attempt to restart." 
The warning notwithstanding, I turned off the power and attempted to restart, alas, to no avail. The message was especially obnoxious given it was accompanied by nonstop back-up vocals that repeatedly recited the text of the manically flashing pop-up error box.
I was rightly suspicious that the lockdown program itself was the Trojan horse. I'd recently learned - profuse thanks due to a fan's post - can't recall whose - that as tech support "helps" they scoop information as to your passwords and credit card (and I didn't want to pay regardless).
I called the number provided and expressed my suspicions. Though the technician seemed sincere -instructing me to use F1 to quash the vocals and offering the option to call the geek squad at Best Buy if I was "uncomfortable" - I declined to proceed with his assistance.
Luckily, I had another PC at my disposal and Google found, which confirmed this was indeed a scam. Even better, the site provided step-by-step instructions - with screen shots - as to how to unlock the computer by using CTRL-ALT-DEL to invoke the task bar and close down the browser - then restart - after which, be sure to DECLINE the restore option.
April 29, 2022 at 2:05AM
    Teri7: I had that happen to me too. They kept wanting to sell me a bigger package money wise to help my computer. I turned it off and hung up. When I turned it back on my computer worked fine, no thanks to them.
    May 17, 2022 at 1:27PM

Elizabeth Emerald: What Are "My" Pronouns?

The answer is obvious to "me."

Here's how "I" see it:

This PC replacement for "nice to meet you" has no relevance in the context of the exchange of introductions between two people. Notwithstanding the particulars of the parties' genders or the ambiguities thereof, each will naturally proceed to address the other as "you."

Reserve the pronoun query for large group interactions, wherein its awkwardness is trumped by the potential for distress due to genders being misconstrued.
March 1, 2022 at 11:43PM

Elizabeth Emerald: SAD NEWS:
Raffaelina Lowcock, aka Ralf, died on January 22, 2022.

Ralf was a loyal fan, a prolific reviewer, and a fine writer. Amongst her portfolio is a stunning novel "Learning to Swim." Each chapter title is a clever play on the theme. Check it out.

Thanks to Judy Lawless for googling OBITs

Ralf made it to 90. RIP
February 27, 2022 at 9:50AM
    Jasmine Girl: Sorry to hear this and I remember her. 90 years old was a long life.
    February 27, 2022 at 12:30PM

Elizabeth Emerald:
Per my profile post of last month, I was canned as editor by "Dicktor," the demented despot owner of an online publication. I'd stepped in when his one-and-only remaining editor, Raffaella, resigned --on account of family concerns-- after years of loyal, unpaid, service.

Dicktor told Raffaella he was "disappointed" that she was leaving; never once did he follow up to express support as to her stressful circumstances.

Fast forward one month. Dicktor -- desperate to get her back now that he'd got rid of me -- emailed Raffaella, filled her in as to my departure, and implored her to contact him immediately.

In light of how dismissively he'd treated her, Raffaella declined to respond.

Virtual vengeance is mine!

Epilogue: Dicktor's one-man show is circling the drain.
February 20, 2022 at 11:32PM

Elizabeth Emerald: I just underwent an ugly implosion of a short-lived intense connection wherein I failed to live up to the exalted intellectual and ethical standards of an erstwhile fervent fan on another site. I am shaking as I write this, sickened that this person blasted me for ignorance and laxity as to exploring nuance amidst what he construes as incontrovertible truth.

Have you had a similar experience either here or in another context?
February 12, 2022 at 11:37PM
    karenina: The best revenge is to live well!

    (And tell him try go &%#& himself!)

    Just sayin!

    February 17, 2022 at 4:29AM

Elizabeth Emerald: February blues, Marching ahead ...

I want to post-date my birthday, the 17th, by a month.
As it is, I get gypped because my birthday gets conflated with Valentine?s Day.

Though at present, alas, the issue is moot.

Add to my wish-list: fast-forward my birth-year from 19xx to 19xx+40.
February 9, 2022 at 1:48AM
    karenina: Happy Birthday Liz!

    February 17, 2022 at 4:26AM
    Jumbo J: So sorry I missed your birthday Liz.
    Regardless, I hope you had a beautiful, joyous, peaceful day... and hey(((((((, Happy belated wishes.
    Health, harmony and happiness always dear friend!
    February 18, 2022 at 3:52PM

Elizabeth Emerald: File this under:

I just read an article by an editor off-site, who began by saying she bailed out of a story after being put off because the word "like" appeared twice in one sentence. She segued to a general admonition as to laziness and carelessness.

It was an impressively impassioned and on point exposition, notwithstanding which it was rife with typos (tactfully speaking) and punctuation omissions I didn't say run-on sentences infer what you will

I take grate care too elinimate tpyos, and aslo ass well, not to mention, it goes without saying I strive to aim to avoid and eschew needlessly extraneous superfluous redundancy Cheers LIZ

January 26, 2022 at 3:16PM
    karenina: You SLAY me!

    January 27, 2022 at 12:37AM

Elizabeth Emerald: Backstory below as to my having been suspended from my role as editor of "Genius in a Bottle."

I've been mulling on variations of my "you can't fire me, I quit" letter. Here's the sneak preview of my favorite:

I am awed by your lenient sentence for this unforgivable breach of protocol. I deserve nothing less than permanent banishment.

Be assured: This ignoble idiot will nevermore disgrace the Genius in your Bottle.

Best of luck working with him going forward.


January 24, 2022 at 7:11PM
    karenina: I went you my rant!

    Meant every word!
    January 26, 2022 at 3:40AM

Elizabeth Emerald: The despot publisher of the virtual venue "Genius in a Bottle," alias Dicktor, canned me as editor (for starters: "suspended for a fortnight") for transferring "his" log entry of a published piece from the "pending" section to the "published" section.

Dicktor blames me for pushing the "Publish" button (a technicality in this case, given that he'd marked it as good to go).

I told Dicktor the piece had been published hours earlier; thus, I assumed he had done it and neglected to log it.

As to how it got published -- there WERE just the two of us -- the mystery remains.

Moot, alas, now that Dickie is left to fiddle with himself.
January 24, 2022 at 7:08PM
    karenina: Hmmm. I'm not an FBI agent... But I can follow up he crumbs!

    How does he manage to shave without injury? With those two faces!

    Peter Principle: He has risen to the level of his own incompetence...

    (I almost wrote "incontinence!)

    January 26, 2022 at 3:45AM

Elizabeth Emerald: I just completed the second half of a virtual marathon. I didn't have to get off my backside--but it was an effort indeed!

I am appalled to confess that I was 407 review responses in arrears. Yesterday, I knocked them down to 176, and I responded to the rest this evening. Whew! Apologies to all for my tardiness.
January 21, 2022 at 11:05PM
    karenina: Wow! You made quick work of that! I'm impressed! You were not were "fashionably late!" (Smile)

    Rest time!

    January 23, 2022 at 12:56AM
    karenina: Wow! You made quick work of that! I'm impressed! You were not were "fashionably late!" (Smile)

    Rest time!

    January 23, 2022 at 12:56AM

Elizabeth Emerald: As to the catch-22 below, another avenue to for ID is obtaining a passport--alas, the same dilemma applies.

My game plan is to get a notarized letter from my lawyer as to vouching for my identity and go to a nearby passport office--IF they aren't closed on account of coronaphobia--I shall call tomorrow.

I do have my birth certificate (no certification stamp as required) and I have SSN cards in both names and an expired license with my photo (different hair color).

I'm hoping I can charm the clerk to accept these documents as proof. If I can't muster sufficient charm in the face of bureaucratic constraints (scratch the "IF") I will lie and say I was told when I called that given my special circumstances, they would accept my documentation--

--though there would be a processing surcharge of $50, payable in cash--which I would wave in the face of the clerk, and hope s/he would take the bribe.
January 19, 2022 at 8:50PM
    Gloria ....: I thought you would've already had a passport. By the sounds of it, they are a lot easier to obtain in the USA, than in Canada. It's a lengthy process here.

    How often do you renew your driver's licenses in the US?

    None of the ID you mentioned would be accepted in Canada as proof you are who you say you are.
    January 20, 2022 at 1:12AM
    Elizabeth Emerald: We have to renew every 5 years. If we let it lapse more than 2 years, we have to retake the road test. There's no way I can get things together by the 2-year mark, and there is no way I would pass a road test. So, the license route is moot--that's why I'm focusing on a passport.

    Doubly ironic dilemma, given I that I neither travel nor drive.
    January 20, 2022 at 8:53PM
    Gloria ....: Just a comment regarding your other profile thought. Profile thoughts are a pull-down tab from Community, so everything you post here is for public perusal without going into your profile.

    I find a passport the best ID of all, and unless you are Jason Bourne you only get one. Here you need three references who are professionals and also part of a society. For example the engineer's society, or the law society because they have to vouch for the person they are representing and a false claim can result in them losing their license to practice in their field. Those references are scrupulously followed up on before a passport is issued.

    Canadians can't cross the border into the US without a passport, or an enhanced driver's license. All increased security after 9/11.

    I expect you will achieve your goal, and have a great story to write about after all is said and done.

    January 21, 2022 at 4:40AM
    Elizabeth Emerald: Mystery solved--I knew community comments went on the profile page, but not vice versa. I'd have no better luck in Canada--no one I know is in a professional society--and if they were, doubtful they'd vouch for me!
    January 21, 2022 at 11:00PM

Elizabeth Emerald: File this under: Circularity Sucks

As to renewal of my driver's license, I am faced with two dilemmas:

1) I cannot renew my license without my birth certificate, and I cannot get my birth certificate without a license.

2) My current name is not my birth name. I cannot produce the requisite legal documents. My name change was not processed through the courts (it is not required to be), nor was it consequent to marriage or divorce.

The irony is that I don't drive; I need the license as an ID.

January 19, 2022 at 2:28AM
    Gloria ....: Can't you use your passport?
    January 19, 2022 at 2:56AM
    Elizabeth Emerald: I don't have a passport--same dilemma as to getting one. But I have a devious idea ...
    January 19, 2022 at 8:37PM
    Elizabeth Emerald: See above if you can spare two minutes.
    January 19, 2022 at 8:51PM
    jlsavell: Elizabeth,

    What state do you live in?

    How long has your drivers license been expired and have you been to the Bureau of Vital Statistics in the county of which you were born?

    Are your parents still living? You can get one of your parents to get your birth certificate. Do they have a photo ID.

    Also, if you can get to the county you were born in and apply there, taking your SSN and expired license, they should be able to help. Call them directly. The county clerk should be a great help. Again, better success in the county you were born in.

    As for your name change, inquire about the procedure. Usually they are closed documents and the clerk can assist you through listing the correct name of your parents on the application.
    January 20, 2022 at 1:25PM
    Elizabeth Emerald: Thanks for stopping by and for the detailed tips! How did you happen upon my profile? I'm pleasantly surprised when anyone, even my regular readers, checks my page.

    I live in Mass, born in NYC. Not feasible to go in person; regardless, no walk-ins allowed due to coronaphobia. My parents are dead.

    We have to renew every 5 years. If we let it lapse more than 2 years, we have to retake the road test. There's no way I can get things together by the 2-year mark--my birthday is Feb 17--and there is no way I would pass a road test. So, the license route is moot--that's why I'm focusing on a passport (despite that I don't travel). If you care to see my devious plan, look above ...

    Cheers. LIZ

    January 20, 2022 at 9:04PM

Elizabeth Emerald: DOES ANYONE HAVE NEWS OF RAFFAELINA LOWCOCK (RALF)? Two months ago, she posted about a dire diagnosis of leukemia. We'd been corresponding regularly--in her last communication, at least a month ago, she said she'd decided not to pursue treatment, except for blood transfusions. She has not responded to my recent messages.
January 17, 2022 at 5:55PM
    damommy: No, I haven't, but I've been wondering about her. Please let me know if you hear from her.
    January 17, 2022 at 6:17PM
    karenina: She has not responded to my PM's either...

    Whoever hears from her, please let us know how she's doing!

    January 17, 2022 at 9:44PM
    Elizabeth Emerald: Still no word--I fear she's dead--I don't know who to contact.
    January 19, 2022 at 8:53PM

FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! 2021 Short Works Writer of the Year.
January 5, 2022 at 1:23PM
    Mrs. KT: Congratulations, Liz!
    January 5, 2022 at 2:11PM
    Gloria ....: Way to go, LIZ. :))
    January 5, 2022 at 5:29PM
    karenina: I hope you get a trophy and a zillion member bucks and some real cash and....

    Oh, never mind...just be happy as I am for you!

    January 5, 2022 at 6:01PM
    lancellot: Congratulations. You rocked it.
    January 5, 2022 at 8:53PM
    Melodie Michelle: Great job!
    Congratulations my friend!!!!!
    January 6, 2022 at 9:02AM
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!!

    January 6, 2022 at 2:37PM
    Jay Squires: How did this slip past my watchful eyes? You are so worthy of the honor, Liz!
    January 26, 2022 at 6:21PM

FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Winner of the Reviewing Contest!
December 3, 2021 at 9:51AM
    phill doran: well done Liz!
    December 3, 2021 at 11:13AM
    LisaMay: Congratulations Liz! Sssssstupendous!
    December 3, 2021 at 11:34AM
    damommy: Congratulations!
    December 3, 2021 at 1:12PM
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!!
    December 3, 2021 at 2:55PM
    Jay Squires: Don't know whether my congratulations went through or not, since I pushed the wrong button. Anyway, you are worthy of the award!
    December 3, 2021 at 3:22PM
    Sally Law: Congratulations, Liz! Stellar achievement. Sal XOs...
    December 3, 2021 at 3:54PM
    juliaSjames: Congratulations!!!

    December 3, 2021 at 7:04PM
    judiverse: Congratulations on your reviewing contest win. Don't wear your eyes out. judi
    December 3, 2021 at 7:07PM
    Irish Rain: Congratulations!!!
    December 3, 2021 at 8:15PM
    Jannypan (Jan) : WooHoo! CONGRATULATIONS, LIZ!
    December 3, 2021 at 9:23PM
    lancellot: Congratulations
    December 3, 2021 at 10:33PM
    Wendy G: Congratulations - a well deserved win!
    December 4, 2021 at 12:57AM
    Seshadri_Sreenivasan: Great! You have always been a super reviewer. Well deserved recognition. have learnt a lot from your reivers. Keep it up! Cheers!
    December 4, 2021 at 4:01AM
    Gloria ....: Congratulations to you. :))
    December 4, 2021 at 11:35PM
    AJ McCall: CONGRATS!
    December 5, 2021 at 11:00AM
    GregoryCody: HOW COOL! And so well deserved. Seriously. You've made a legit difference to me...
    December 9, 2021 at 8:47PM
    Wendy G: Congratulations Liz - definitely deserved!
    December 25, 2021 at 5:48AM
    Seshadri_Sreenivasan: Warmest congratulations on your achievement and best wishes for your next adventure!?
    Cheers! Happy New 2022!
    January 1, 2022 at 2:51AM
    Dolly'sPoems: Congratulations Elizabeth for achieving the top spot for your short stories, so well deserved, love Dolly x
    January 1, 2022 at 9:52AM

Review Stars
Reviewing 157 (+2)
Most Recent Posts
See All
CUT? or STET! as the case may be
Never Defend Your Work: HA!

''Brief'' Shopping Expedition
Scott learns that size matters

Departure from StoryLand Pending

Go Scott!
Our outspoken saint lets loose

Conditional Charity
Self-appointed missionary shuns the unsaved

Paying Lip Service to Charity
If you wouldn't eat it--don't serve it!

Losing Patience
Volunteer crew is overwhelmed and frustrated

Gracious Host? Yes and No
Opposing points of view lead to lively debate


2021 Short Story Writer of the Year
CUT? or STET! as the case may be reached "All Time Best" status.
November 30 at 11:57PM
Ghost Writer reached "All Time Best" status.
November 12 at 11:57PM
Friends on the Lop-side reached "Recognized" status.
October 21 at 3:49PM
Tell It Like It Isn't reached "All Time Best" status.
October 13 at 11:57PM
Halloween Follies reached "All Time Best" status.
October 7 at 11:57PM
Justification reached "All Time Best" status.
September 11 at 11:56PM
Just What He Wanted? reached "Recognized" status.
September 10 at 3:48PM
Justification reached "Recognized" status.
September 5 at 3:48PM

Become A Fan

  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2014, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Statement