This is exceptional in every way. The picture, the presentation as a whole, all tell the real-life story of the power outage experienced by so many in the Southern States. I can only assume this is a true story but, even if it isn't, it is told like a professional storyteller. Super descriptive words and phrases display a setting that I will not soon forget.
Jesse
Reply History
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
This was for a contest where we had to use certain words. I have had experiences in thunderstorm blackouts. Thanks for the 6 stars.
Very good poem. Beyond good. If this is a contest entry, you have it in spades. The internal rhymes, the ending, the images your words evoke? Excellent.
It is most difficult to conceptualize time as a thing. Time to me is like a measurement no different than say miles. Age, light years, the traveling of the Earth around the Sun. Each are measurements. Now there is abstract theories of time that probably run in the 1000's. You can bend light thus altering the light-time continuum. And as you say black hole distort time so magnetic fields may do the same. Poem was good!
This is a well written poem. You followed the contest rules. I prefer a different rhyming pattern that is a little more complex but that is not what was asked for. Good luck in the contest.
royowen
Thanks Yvon for these wonderful comments and a great review, blessings, Roy
This is a very well written piece. It had a nice flow that was easy to follow. I guess if you gather addictions and sin and lump them together you get to a pretty dark place. I'm glad you were saved by the Lord.
-NIce image
and presentation.
-I like the style
of your poem, and
the descriptions you use.
-I like how you connect
a couple of the lines, and
then comment on them.
-My favorite image is
"an invitation to the rolling wheel."
-I also like the line about choices.
-Good luck in the contest.
Short but a necessity of the times I guess. This threw me off as I am not familiar with Martin Luther. Looking for autumn and finding a reform was odd. If I didn't read your notes this would have been puzzling.
Reply History
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
Thank you. I was hoping ?fall? of the hammer tied in with fall/autumn.
Though this is a touching story, your poem reads like a newspaper article instead of a poem. You did however follow the format I didn't see a poem. It is a good story of survival.
Jannypan (Jan)
Thank you, Yvon, for your exceptional 6 star rating. Much appreciated. Respectfully, Jan
This was different than I usually see. To use an ence rhyming all that way must have been fun finding all those words. Well done as it all rhymes. Ha, ha
EricDaGoose
LOL thanks for your time to review this poem
A sad yet interesting piece. Kind of reminds me of an old man with saggy skin. The rhyming was good along with the meter. The ending kind of sums it up. If you can live with what you look like and others can't screw them.