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Yvon

Mystic Angel 7777
It's basically a matter of whether or not you wish to learn ho to write the form properly or simply follow less than stellar examples of it. I didn't rate you down simply because you are still learning, but would be remiss if I did not point out where it should be improved.
04-Oct-2019
For the review on
Solitary Stroll by Yvon

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

While this is a really good start to a well penned haiku, you miss the mark by not adhering to certain required elements of the form.
The title should be haiku (evening snow frozen) according to the rules of form. Capitalization is forbidden in haiku, as well as punctuation, personification, and rhyme - you used caps. The satori (third line) is more of a statement than a true AHA moment. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.


moongirlwriter
:)
28-Jun-2019
For the review on
Angels On The Wing by Yvon

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very interesting poem. . .made me think of it as an end of life poem and God has begun his selection process. It is well-written whether totally understood or not. Nice job and best of luck to you if this is written for a contest.


Sylvia Page
https://syllablecounter.net/count
Smiled is one syllable.
27-Jun-2019
For the review on
Flowers of Marriage by Yvon

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Blossoms in her hands 5
Smiled eagerly for her 6?
Singing wedding songs 5
This is a very nice Haiku but I don't get the syllable count right in the 2nd line. Did you count smiled as 2?
Sylvia


LisaMay
I hope you had a glass of warm milk and a nice lie down.
21-Jun-2019
For the review on
Rolling On by Yvon

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"Umm.. Ah.. Shit eh!" certainly sums up life as some of us know it, but certainly not your poem, which is wonderful. That repeat line is so imaginative and a great one to hang the rest of the poem off, full of the paradoxes of life. "See-sawing my mind does swing With silent notes it tries to sing " is a pure summary of my own life.


Michele Harber
You're very welcome.
20-Jun-2019
For the review on
Dear Holy Breath by Yvon

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a reverent, uplifting and hopeful poem, that goes from despair to joy with your recognition of faith and redemption. Your repetition of "I should have brought you flowers" is very powerful and shows that, as with Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz," your power to achieve your (in this case, spiritual) goals was within your control all along. This reads very smoothly, and your rhymes work well.


Artasylum
Thanks so much Yvon... it gives me pause to imagine the ones that came before me... thanks so much for reading and the stellar plus/one review... yours, di
20-Jun-2019
For the review on
Forsaken... Forgotten by Artasylum

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your wording is impeccable. Nice to read the different chapters of this bench and park. Many years can bring joy and tears. I think I hid under that bench many years ago. I like how you mixed in the fun and sad. Well done if I do say so myself.


Artasylum
either way works for me...
20-Jun-2019
For the review on
Dear Holy Breath by Yvon

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This flows like a running river... I love every verse and lovely presentation to complete the whole package... Great job on this Yvon and looking forward to much more. yours, Diana


Bill Pinder
19-Jun-2019
For the review on
Crash by Yvon

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That was the shortest story I've ever read. You definitely tied in the picture well. Have a great day! Smile, smile! My review is longer than your story.
Bill


Bridge
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my work.
Best Regards
17-Jun-2019
For the review on
Anger by Bridge

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow! I never read a poem that promoted anger in this way. As fiery as anger can be i hope you control your own anger. If it like this those in your path better watch out. Good contest entry.


DeborahWrite
My pleasure
15-Jun-2019
For the review on
Mother Nature by Yvon

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Dear Author,
I enjoyed your flowing, well-written poem, "Mother Nature". Your selected photograph is a perfect match and highlighted its beauty "overwhelms".
Excellent contest entry, Deborah.



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