Hello there, Dmt
It isn't easy to get a grip of a long story just by reading a chapter, however, I enjoyed reading this none the less...
A few nits you may or indeed may not wish to consider--
"Will it be okay here[?]" Jason frowned.
"You think my parents would get us to smuggle drugs[?]" Jake
He sniffed and wriggled his nose as stale body odour wafted towards him. --why and from whom is this body odour coming from?--Maybe fill out a bit here?--also...is it a train/bus or coach station?
"I do[!] Now, who are you?"
"Because I am the thirty-third child by Madam [H]ighlight."-- I think... :)
A group of elves called the [D]elivery [C]olony taught me to use my mouth."
Jake nodded. He took the bag with two fingers, it felt slimy to touch and smelt, and wriggled his nose. -- who's nose? Jakes or Number Thirty Three's? It couldn't be Jakes as he is holding the bag... maybe giggle this about a bit...
Jake['s] mouth slackened as he stared at the man, what was it?
"That[,] my young friend you collect from lost property."
Jason touched the cold, soft skin of the white face with no colour.--white has no colour... maybe rephrase?