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trimple

Lordinajamjar
Thank you!
26-Mar-2021
For the review on
Solar Vampires (Sunflowers) by Lordinajamjar

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good morning to you, Lordina

This a fabulous haiku with a lovely underbelly of humour. the sunflowers likened to vamps as they feed on sunshine! lol

You gave me a smile today

great stuff

kind regards

trimple


jake cosmos aller
thanks for the comments
10-Mar-2021
For the review on
pain Hanibun poem by jake cosmos aller

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good afternoon, Jake

In your opening haiku, you repeat the word 'pain' which lends itself well here as it accentuates the fact that you clearly suffer from this rotten condition.

The prose continues on and has your reader realise just how lucky she is, not to endure pain on a daily basis.

I would highly recommend a fella on tube named Wim Hoff. I have no idea why his breathing method works, but if you check it out and read the hundreds of comments, you may find some relief as thousands of others have for numerous conditions.

Some have mentioned 'life changing'

I wish you well

kind regards

trimple


dmt1967
Thank you for all your help. It is truly appreciated.
05-Jan-2021
For the review on
Chapter seven (final draft) by dmt1967

Chapter 7 of the book DIFFERENCES (final draft)

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello there, Dmt


It isn't easy to get a grip of a long story just by reading a chapter, however, I enjoyed reading this none the less...

A few nits you may or indeed may not wish to consider--


"Will it be okay here[?]" Jason frowned.

"You think my parents would get us to smuggle drugs[?]" Jake
snarled.

He sniffed and wriggled his nose as stale body odour wafted towards him. --why and from whom is this body odour coming from?--Maybe fill out a bit here?--also...is it a train/bus or coach station?


"I do[!] Now, who are you?"

"Because I am the thirty-third child by Madam [H]ighlight."-- I think... :)

A group of elves called the [D]elivery [C]olony taught me to use my mouth."

Jake nodded. He took the bag with two fingers, it felt slimy to touch and smelt, and wriggled his nose. -- who's nose? Jakes or Number Thirty Three's? It couldn't be Jakes as he is holding the bag... maybe giggle this about a bit...

Jake['s] mouth slackened as he stared at the man, what was it?

"That[,] my young friend you collect from lost property."

Jason touched the cold, soft skin of the white face with no colour.--white has no colour... maybe rephrase?


kind regards

tracey


jake cosmos aller
thanks for noticing
25-Oct-2020
For the review on
October Rain by jake cosmos aller

Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Just a heads-up... the contest rules ask to contenders to write an EIGHT LINE RHYMED POEM--sorry for the caps but I copy pasted as written.

You have time to change this, so please notify me when/if you do and I'll amend the review and rating.

kind regards

trimple


Melodie Michelle
;-)
21-Oct-2020
For the review on
Soulmates Secured by Melodie Michelle

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello there, Melodie

Your poem is a pleasure to read as you open up about the passion between yourself and your partner who has been imprisoned for a year or so... Well... it's no wonder he's passionate, but for two people to click together sexually, there is generally, great trust.

I loved this line--

I'd be smiling
all over
a grin so huge
that it would
envelope
the entire world-- lovely visual :)


much love

tracey


Jannypan (Jan)
Thank you for dropping by with a great reivew. Most appreciative.
Respectfully, Jan
19-Oct-2020
For the review on
~ Light from a Black Hole ? ~ by Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello there, Jan

These black holes are beyond our thinking and are named appropriately--- we know very little about them.

An interesting write

kind regards

tracey


Y. M. Roger
Not even one damn gold coin sometimes, yeah? (wink, wink) :) :) Twenty words isn't much to work with, but I enjoy a challenge when it comes to numbers - lol! ;) :) Once a nerd, always a nerd, I suppose... thanx for the review and have a wonderful week of lovely October skies! ;) Yvette
18-Oct-2020
For the review on
Sequestered by Y. M. Roger

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good morning to you, Yvette

A most thoughtful write with a rather busy picture to accomodate.

When we are little, the world does feel eternal and full of magical promise, but alas, that forever feeling ebbs away the older we get and we realise there are no piles of gold at the end of a pretty rainbow...


kind regards

tracey


Janet Foor
Thank you for this wonderful review. Dartmoor Prison was pointed out to us but we did not stop. Our guide had us on a tight schedule which was nice to see so much but left us with little time to check out things on our own.
I loved seeing the sheep and cattle and horse roaming freely in the fields and countryside. I hope that one day we can go back again.
The reunion we attended was in the area of Arundel which we loved.

How nice to hear from someone who is familiar and even know te topic of the poem.

Thank you again.
Blessings
Janet
18-Oct-2020
For the review on
Cornwall in Autumn by Janet Foor

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello there, Jmf4119

A fine sonnet written in ABAB rhyme, describing the wonderful Cornish countryside with its mists and kings/queens n castles...

Having lived in Cornwall for many years when I was younger, I can relate to this fine sonnet of yours.

It can be a rugged and desolate place, especially out there on the moors. I used to live in a place called Tremar... right on the edge of the moorland, with open fields, cattle and sheep munching away at my garden plants...

Did you visit Dartmoor Prison? It's always shrouded in mist there.

A fine write and a pleasure to read and reminisce.

kind regards

trimple


Elizabeth Emerald
I had fun with this! Cheers. LIZ
18-Oct-2020
For the review on
Paradox of Forgiveness by Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good eveing, ELizabeth

You crack me up, you really do.

Love the build-up here in your 'Tanka' poem and the big ol punch in the face at the end
:)

Terrific entry

good luck

much love

tracey


Elizabeth Emerald
Thanks for stopping by Tracey--spot-on commentary! Cheers. LIZ
18-Oct-2020
For the review on
Deflated in a FLASH by Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Liz

LOL You are a scream, but I getcha.

There are a few reviewers here on the site that are prone to copy-pasting their reviews to long/short stories/poems of all sorts that carefully cover every damed aspect of writing with a press of a button--$ -- caching!

I smiled, but to be fare, those types of reviewers will invariably stay exactly where they are and not learn bugger all :)

Another fun, if not a wee poke at the few thoughtless public.

kind regards

tracey



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