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Joe Ehret

Witwoo
Oh, I dunno. I already got my nickel. If this is an unplanned novel, go snag the "Storybook" download online, and use that to hold all your bits together. Microsoft Word is an underrated tool when it comes to proofreading (It's also quip and sarcasm-free). I'll go back to chapter 1 and needle another excerpt from it.
07-May-2014
For the review on
The Atomic Punk by Joe Ehret

Chapter 1 of the book Tales of the Atomic Punk

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I tend to give long reviews, even on short works. This piece would have you reading my review for several days, and since I begin reviews with the spotty stuff and close it with the positives, a long review would ensure you wouldn't arrive at the bottom.

You're a funny writer. I laughed when I pictured my voice having its own beard. 5 stars, and we'll call it good.


WW

p.s. If you ever DO want something reviewed to my fullest ability, let me know. I like kicking crutches from beneath gimpy children. It's a nice reward to see them stand on two legs afterward.


Tegan1311
Thanks for the advice (something I will work on) and for reading, both of which I appreciate.
03-May-2014
For the review on
Deadly Threat by Tegan1311

Chapter 74 of the book Finding Truths

Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm always a little wary of jumping into an ongoing story that's already so far in, but I decided this one seemed interesting enough to take the risk. And this story definitely made me curious enough to read some more. You have some interesting descriptions of the knife and its background. You gave me a good impression of all the characters, even though I just met them. And you kept the tension high throughout.

One thing you need to work on is your wordiness. It's a really common problem that can be worked out fairly easily during second drafts, but it does require that you take the time to look for it. Sometimes you pile adjectives on like "Red whispers to me, a mixture of fear and awe and disbelief in his voice." You don't need all three, you could probably cut it down to just disbelief and I'd understand what you meant. The dialogue conveys most of those things already.

The wordiness gets in the way of an otherwise very engaging story's flow. Otherwise, I really enjoyed it and will definitely take a look at some of the previous chapters in this story. Good luck and keep up the good work.


L.A.Matthies
Thank you so much, Joe. I really appreciate your thoughtful words :)Linda
30-Apr-2014
For the review on
The Gauntlet by L.A.Matthies

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm always impressed that people can so thoroughly express a concept in only three short lines and you do so admirably here. I can practically see the challenge being laid down. Well done.

And while it doesn't impact the quality of the poem, I like the striking image you chose to accentuate the piece.


c_lucas
You're welcome, Joe. Charlie
08-Apr-2014
For the review on
Smokehouse by Joe Ehret

Chapter 16 of the book Tales of the Atomic Punk

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sometime in the interest to be the good guy, we screw up big time. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.


RodG
Great! It seems you have your PLOT & CHARACTERS well under control and know where you're heading. Good luck!
08-Apr-2014
For the review on
Smokehouse by Joe Ehret

Chapter 16 of the book Tales of the Atomic Punk

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Joe, glad I caught this recent installment. I like it! It's not quite as dramatic as the previous chapter, but it does a good job of developing WES. We thoroughly understand (from his interior monolog) how the fire and not saving the kid has affected him and caused him to go roof hopping at night. I am not sure the flashback is necessary as it interrupts the flow of this great scene. What does work is how Wes and Brandon struggle to make a connection (i.e.--become friends, or at least acquaintances). The strength of the scene is, of course, the DIALOG between them. We really want Wes to find somebody he CAN relate to. He is definitely growing on me, Joe. The more I read, the more I like this kid. Glad to see you have not stalled out. Rod


RodG
Thanks for viewing, Joe, and your kind remarks. So glad you like this shortie. Rod
08-Apr-2014
For the review on
Swan Lake by RodG

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Rock solid as always. This poem has more layers than lines and most of them are easy enough to grasp without being painfully simple. Made for a really fun read.

I also like the little detail about your son taking the photo.


c_lucas
From the review I wrote, I would say "no," but I did not deduct any stars for the confusion.
26-Mar-2014
For the review on
Nuclear Family Fission by Joe Ehret

Chapter 15 of the book Tales of the Atomic Punk

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a good story line, but in places I'm confuse as to what you are trying to impart. I cannot condemn it, but, also can I claim to understand it.


Dean Kuch
:>]

Yep, I know I do.
21-Mar-2014
For the review on
The Crying by Dean Kuch

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An interesting story. Most evil painting stories end up with the creep little girl murder-izing everyone or at least trying to, so it's nice to read something that takes a turn away from the usual. You do a good job of not rushing the punchline. The phone call between Chelsea and her Grandma, for instance, could easily have been cut down to just Grandma saying something and Chelsea suddenly freaking out, but you gave it time to breath and develop.

My only complaint is that you sometimes get a little wordy. "she would angrily castigate him", for example. Castigation is already a harsh act, so doing so angrily is a bit redundant.

However, all told, it was a fun story. Good luck in the contest.

As for the basis in truth, is this your story or did someone else tell it to you?


Dean Kuch
Thanks, Joe, I appreciate the comments and suggestions. All are taken to heart, my friend. The story is based on an actual painting we had in our home as I was growing up. The characteristics I described concerning the way it changed, and the wet tear drops -- all true.
21-Mar-2014
For the review on
The Crying by Dean Kuch

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An interesting story. Most evil painting stories end up with the creep little girl murder-izing everyone or at least trying to, so it's nice to read something that takes a turn away from the usual. You do a good job of not rushing the punchline. The phone call between Chelsea and her Grandma, for instance, could easily have been cut down to just Grandma saying something and Chelsea suddenly freaking out, but you gave it time to breath and develop.

My only complaint is that you sometimes get a little wordy. "she would angrily castigate him", for example. Castigation is already a harsh act, so doing so angrily is a bit redundant.

However, all told, it was a fun story. Good luck in the contest.

As for the basis in truth, is this your story or did someone else tell it to you?


darknessgone
You are welcome :)
20-Mar-2014
For the review on
Held Hands and Hate Crimes by Joe Ehret

Chapter 14 of the book Tales of the Atomic Punk

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I very much enjoyed this story! Greatly written and kept my full attention throughout. I will certainly keep up with this one! Great job and thank you for sharing! :)



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