Have you heard the phrase 'payback is hell'? I give you Bobby-George, exhibit A.
"Can you believe I just got fucked by Mother Nature!" He said' You have two of these in the piece. It's a speech tag. You would use a lower case 'he'. This is the same after Question marks too.
He chopped down on some chicken ' Maybe chomped?
Yep, he slipped on the newly cleaned title floor, and he knocked this cactus plant on the windowsill down on the floor, and it had this long stem that was sticking out of it, and Bobby- George's hospital gown was all open, in the back, and he was butt-naked, and sure enough, he fell right back down on that cactus plant!
You have six complete sentences within this paragraph. My suggestion is pare them two a piece and delete some 'ands'.
I am going to award you five stars for the humor element. You just need to clean up your grammar. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I would interested in reading more of your work.