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Brett Matthew West

EricDaGoose
😆
17-Nov-2019
For the review on
Ron The Snooty Trash Man by EricDaGoose

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Touch of humor thrown in for good measure in this simply worded poem about a trash man. His personality is defined in the first stanza, especially his greed.

That theme is continued in the second stanza with the words "snide" and "rude".

In the third stanza his arrogance shines forth in his refusal to do his job and take the trash.

Then, in the next to last stanza he relents and does his job for the one thing that motivates him...his pay.

Finally, in the last stanza you change the POV to first person and confess your desire for cash (or in this case it appears according to your notes anyway, sixes)


Mistydawn
Thank you for reading my story. I'm sorry you felt it was enough.
The last few lines of the chapter before this, I show the one piece of evidence (Barry and Jeremy's arrival at the cabin) is inefficient to hold them but the evidence against Jeff and Tony (gun, bloody clothes, GSR, the phone message, and fingerprints) is enough to convict them. That's why I didn't add it again, thought it'd be redundant. What do you think?
Thank you again for reading my chapter, and your suggestion on this matter. Your help is always greatly appreciated, take care.
17-Nov-2019
For the review on
Love Concurs All by Mistydawn

Chapter 16 of the book Pushed Too Far

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Seems some loose threads may have been left dangling, such as the explanation by "Barry" about how he avoided going to jail. May wish to reconsider and have another chapter detailing these issues.


Janilou
Thank you very much. :-)
Jan
17-Nov-2019
For the review on
Bellona's Flame by Janilou

Chapter 30 of the book Jirvania

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well written chapter. Good pacing. Broad storyline. Easy to understand what occurs throughout the posting. Length was appropriate for the story being told. Strong emotions displayed.


Flyaway1
Thank you for reading. I like it, when people see one layer deeper into something I write. Or maybe there is a zebra following Zoe:::who knows?
15-Nov-2019
For the review on
Zoe and The Zebra by Flyaway1

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Goes to show sometimes a person doesn't know who their real friends are until someone else makes them see the truth, in this case that's all the zebra wanted to be; Zoe's friend. All's well that ends well. Cool story in a poem.


oliver818
Thanks for the great feedback. Much appreciated!
15-Nov-2019
For the review on
In a way by oliver818

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The protagonist is a female serial murderer. Quite a unique line of work for women. That adds more interest to the story. Good tension throughout the telling. Well done.


lyenochka
Thank you for the review, Brett!
Blessings!
14-Nov-2019
For the review on
Red Leaves by lyenochka

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Meets the contest requirement of 2-4-2. Good play on the "frees/eese" sound. Strong internal rhyme. Good imagery. Well done.


royowen
Thanks Brett, for your excellent review and kind comments,, blessings, Roy
14-Nov-2019
For the review on
I see her... by royowen

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As the saying goes, even the families of soldiers serve when a member is in the military. Captures this situation spot on and shows the anguish suffered. Well done.


Ulla
Thank you so much, Brett. Yes, who indeed took the bullet? I'm glad you liked it. Ulla:))
14-Nov-2019
For the review on
The Ultimate Betrayal by Ulla

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That is one way to resolve this cheating problem. Good presentation, proper syllable count. The ambiguous ending makes you wonder which one of them took the bullet. Well done.


papa55mike
Hello, my friend! Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!

Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
14-Nov-2019
For the review on
The Sanctuary Lights by papa55mike

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nothing wrong with establishing your own unique format. How many others on this site have done so over the years? No reason to be clean when one approaches God, in fact the opposite is more true. Well done.


Bill Schott
...and only one injury to a spectator.
14-Nov-2019
For the review on
Scene at a Seed Spitting Contest by Bill Schott

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very interesting scene. The lingo adds another dimension to this humorous script. Appears Plan 9 has other thoughts in mind besides a watermelon seed spitting contest, like destroying a certain "revolving orb of refuge". (BTW, good description of the earth). Well done.



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