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Jessica Borras

mermaids
Guinea pigs are fascinating little creatures. Thanks for reading and reviewing my guinea pig tale. Elaine
10-Sep-2021
For the review on
Heat? by mermaids

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your story is so sweet and wholesome! I don't have guinea pigs, but I can imagine what yours are like thanks to your story. :) I didn't notice any grammatical errors, so I don't have any suggestions. Thanks for sharing!


dellsworthpoet
You are welcome.
30-Aug-2021
For the review on
Richard's Corner Store by Jessica Borras

Chapter 3 of the book Mrs. Wilma's Cookies

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An interesting story. I particularly like the last bit about baking cookies. The story moves at a good pace. The dialogue sounds natural. The plot is simple, but effective.

I would write the telling about the robbery should be written like an action scene. Short declarative sentences. Abrupt. It makes the pace pick up and adds to immediacy. Make it like he was reliving it.

A good read. Thanks for sharing.


Mary Shifman
Thank you so much.
26-Aug-2021
For the review on
Little Brother by Mary Shifman

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is such a sweet poem! It's funny because you could have been describing a toddler, or a grown man. (Specifically, my husband comes to mind lol) Your rhyming flows very nicely, it doesn't feel at all forced.

If I could make one tiny suggestion, the line "When he's like frisky puppy" reads differently than the rest of your poem and might sound more uniform if you make it "When he's like a frisky puppy".

This was a lovely poem. It's obvious you love your brother very much. Good luck with the contest!


Mary Kay Bonfante
Dear Jessica, you're very welcome. I'm glad you liked my suggestion.
Wow! What a blessing to find that doctor, even though it took ten years. I think it was the grace of God, that he had just recently read that article about a similar case.
Sometimes doctors can be quite judgmental, especially when they feel helpless to fix a problem. I wonder if the drug they gave your mother for the parasite was ivermectin -- it's used for heartworm in dogs, but it's also used to treat some ailments in humans, including Covid, if I'm not mistaken (don't quote me on that).
I'm so glad your mother got the help she needed! May God always bless you and your family. Love, Mary Kay xoxo
25-Aug-2021
For the review on
Regrets of a Five Year Old by Jessica Borras

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great story! And wow, like you, I'm sorry it happened, and that both you and your family had to live through all that -- even Dog! Dog, the dog. I'm glad your grandfather wasn't permitted to act on his impulse to have him euthanized, since he was blameless. Your grandmother saw the situation more clearly.

I didn't find any errors, but I have one suggestion, if you want it:

And I know, of course, it isn't possible to relive your regrets, ...
-->
And I know, of course, it isn't possible to undo your mistakes, to wipe out your regrets, ...

***

Thank you for sharing this remarkable story. I wonder if your mother had c-diff, often a hospital acquired infection, which is very troublesome, serious and can even be fatal. I have had family members who had the disease (my mother, who beat it twice with the right medications, and my elderly grand-aunt, who had it in the hospital, but who died, in her mid-80s, of what we believed were other issues.

My husband suffered a bad leg break at about age 11, riding an illegal dirt bike on the city streets... cost his family a trip to Disney World. He regretted it for many years! You're not alone.


Mrs. KT
Hello Jessica!
I am honored by your exceptional rating and complimentary review.
So pleased the message and style resonated with you!

Thank you ever so much!
diane
25-Aug-2021
For the review on
When Lilacs Bloom'd by Mrs. KT

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a lovely poem, and what an interesting style! I'd never heard of The Golden Shovel, but you'd better believe this is a challenge I'll be taking on! I really don't have any critiques as your poem was beautifully written. I loved the vocabulary you used. The words you chose all flow so elegantly, and it's obvious they were chosen carefully. Thank you for sharing!


Eunice Amero
I thank you so much. You know when it comes to punctuation for a poem i get mixed up. Thanks again
25-Aug-2021
For the review on
Come Back to Me by Eunice Amero

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very well-written poem with loads of emotion. The rhythm is beautiful, it flows very nicely. Just one suggestion, regarding the punctuation. On some lines, you've used it, and on others, you haven't. I would suggest keeping it uniform throughout the entire poem, otherwise, it's a tiny bit distracting.

That's the only suggestion, though. It's a lovely poem. I can feel the heartache while reading it, and any literature that can make you feel is good literature, in my book.


rockinm76233
thank you very much for the read and review.
25-Aug-2021
For the review on
Are the good times really over by rockinm76233

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I very much enjoyed reading this! What an interesting idea, breaking down a song and responding to the music... And I must say, for the most part, I agree wholeheartedly. But there are many of us out here still praying for our country, and for our fellow Americans, and if we keep that up I think things will turn out okay. Well, that, and teaching our younger generation respect and common courtesy. I don't know when that became a thing of the past, but I'm guessing around the same time that social media took off.

The only thing I noticed was the line "But what are we to finally do to stop this (agonizing) fear that America as we knew it, no longer will exist?", I'd suggest swapping agonizes with agonizing. Otherwise, this was very well written and quite enjoyable to read.

Thank you for sharing!


Lana Marie
Thank you for your review and for pointing that out, I had wondered when I saw it last night before I went to bed. I fixed it.
25-Aug-2021
For the review on
Parking by Lana Marie

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, you definitely managed the passionate part of the challenge and kudos on doing it without vulgarity! Your poem was very well written, and you chose a gorgeous picture to go with it. I did notice, "My cheeks blush as my mind starts to wander, passion exploding like lightning and thunder" is the only line not separated into two. For all I know, you did it on purpose, but just in case it was unintentional, thought I'd point it out. Great job on the poem, and good luck with the contest!


Anne Arthur
Thank you for your kind words.
I tried to upload a photo but the system refused it every time (although I used an approved jpg. file).
25-Aug-2021
For the review on
Fresh Bread by Anne Arthur

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a lovely story! Honestly, there's nothing better than the smell of fresh bread from a local bakery first thing in the morning. Well, except maybe the smell of fresh coffee... Just a heads up, your picture didn't come through. But it's a very nice memory, thank you for sharing it with us :) And good luck with the contest!


Ideasaregems-Dawn
You're very welcome. :)
24-Aug-2021
For the review on
Petey the Penguin by Jessica Borras

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well, I have to say that this is one of the best flash fiction stories I've read in a while, and I think it deserves to win. Not only have you managed to anchor your dialogue but you've created a charming tale complete with moral in only 100 words -- I hope you counted well -- I didn't.



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