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 Mystery and Crime Fiction posted March 8, 2021

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Short Story from I put my mask on and entered the building

My Account

by Perfectpracticemakesperfect !

I put my mask on and entered the building. The first thing I noticed is the long lines of disgruntled customers. They have been standing there for what seemed like hours waiting for a customer service rep to finally solve their problems. Well, those disgruntled customers are about to become even more disgruntled.


Echoes of screams bounce off the marble walls of the Bank of New York. People tried to escape but were unable to because I closed and locked the doors behind me. They don't know that I could never hurt a fly, but I guess they think I'm the stereotypical bank robber.

"EVERYONE JUST CHILLAX OMG!" Now, instead of screaming, they are giving me weird looks.

"Guys, can we just make this quick? You know why I'm here, you know what I'm looking for, so why can't we be friends, why can't we be *cough* sorry sometimes I break out into song."

The bank manager cracks a smile and says, "At least you're original. I guess we can go to the vault. It's this way."

"Thank you!", I say as we make our way to the vault. "But why are you so OK with me taking the money?"

"Maybe if someone actually steals money this time, they will give me a raise, or maybe it's just time for me to quit."

"Fair enough.", I say in a matter-of-fact manner. "I'll just take my money and be on my way."

I've come to the personal conclusion that the bank manager is honestly just fed up with everyone trying to rob the bank.

Assuming that the manager signaled for the police shortly after I came in and with little time to waste, I quickly filled my duffle bag with about 1 million dollars and hurried to the nearest bathroom. I changed my clothes and made my way out the back door before a squad of New York's finest arrived.

The police walk into the bank and they see a host of calm patrons standing around as if a robbery never took place. In complete confusion, they begin to question people one by one; undoubtedly, the bank manager is up first.

"So you're telling me you just let them take the money?" The police officer asks.

"Yup!" The bank manager agrees.

"Can you at least tell me what they looked like?"

"I'm sorry, I can't." The bank manager replied. "I didn't get a good look at them."

As it turns out, none of the bank customers got a good look at the perp. That was a good thing for the interviewing police officer. Why? Because after the bank robber changed into his uniform, he just made his way around to the front of the building to join his colleagues. That's right, the interviewing police officer was the bank robber. But you know what they say, eyewitness accounts are never reliable.

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