Humor Poetry posted January 28, 2018

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Be careful what you wish for

A very short love affair

by jenintorre

It was in the Dog and Bear
that I first noticed Claire
and I swear, it was love at first sight.

I tried not to stare at her tits and act
debonair as I went over and asked for a light.
I had to stand and wait as she was chatting
to her mate but she produced
a lighter from her bag.

She was dressed all in pink.
I asked, "would they like a drink?"
and offered them both a fag.
Claire said, "yes we'd like a smoke
and we'll have Malibou and coke"
She told me their names and asked me mine.

I said my name is Jason and work at Fortnam & Mason
and have a flat near the Serpentine.
Her mate's name was Kelly.
She was tall, fat and smelly.
I arranged a blind date with my pal, Steve.

We went out in a foursome,
I thought the night was awesome
but Steve felt sick and said he had to leave.

A month after that
Claire got thrown out of her flat
so she brought her things and moved into mine.

She packed in her job and became a total slob.
Just watching T.V. And drinking wine.
She didn't clean or cook or even read a book.
She lazed around and got fat as can be.

After work each day I had to pick up a takeaway
And come home to join her on the settee.

I began to moan and curse
as her choice of programmes got worse.
The remote control was out of bounds for me.

No documentaries or sport,
no nothing of that sort,
just soaps, chat shows and reality T.V.

I can't stand it any more.
I'll have to show her the door.
she'll have to move in with her mother.
I feel really bad but I'll simply go mad
if I have to watch another "Big brother".

Love Bites writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Write a poem about love gone wrong or lost love. It can be sad, raw, or just plain angry (Just keep it clean). Express the emotions of the darker side of love. Any style or length. Be creative.


Fortnum & Mason - Department Store in London

Serpentine - River in London
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by MKFlood at

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