Humor Fiction posted May 15, 2019


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Ballad of Babers

by Terrence Francis

Not all heroes wear capes, and this is definitely true for Mr. Eric Babers. Babers journey through life has taken him through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. He was considered one of the greatest basketball prodigies to come out of Coushatta, Louisiana (shit not really that impressive because there are only 42 people that live in the town) Babers dominated the limited competition and caught the eyes of NBA scouts, and was on the pathway to living his dream.
Unfortunately, like many stars before him his hoops dreams were derailed by the trappings of fame. The tragedy struck at the most inopportune time, on the day Doc Rivers (coach of the LA Clippers) visited the village of Coushatta to scout Babers, Rivers was unable to contact him or his management. Eventually Babers was located, when he was seen running through town dribbling his basketball and screaming "D" Up with his "D" out. Babers was finally cornered and trapped onto an outdoor air conditioning unit, he was sweating profusely and had a wild look in his eyes similar to a Lemur when it is ready to attack. Babers used the AC unit to cool off because his body temperature was 116 degrees Fahrenheit (African organs can withstand extreme body heat). Babers was taken into custody by Coushatta PD, after running test they determined that Babers was full of parasites that were ravishing his brain, which he probably contracted from his terrible habit of eating raw pork. He was also determined to be on that Bath salts/Meth combo known as Salty Meth.
Obviously Babers blew his chance at NBA stardom, but he has made a full recovery and is now living in Denison,Tx where he is a rising star in the Pentecostal Ministers Association



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