General Poetry posted March 16, 2020


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The Honey-Do-List

by Cedar

 


   After spending thirty long years on the job,
my retirement date finally rolled around.
  Now it was time to relax and take life easy,
    without alarm clocks and that awful sound.


          The first week at home was peaceful and quiet,
           enjoying all the wonderful things I had missed.
               While laying on the couch counting my blessings,
               in strolled my wife dragging a long honey-do list.

               From that moment on my dream world vanished,
             this was the beginning of a retirement from hell.
             Every time I tried to offer one of my suggestions,
                 she would start waving her arms and began to yell.

           "Don't think you're going to lay around," she said,
                 "I'm in charge now and I'll make all the damn rules."
            Now, those remarks got my attention in a hurry,
              so I sat up straight and covered my family jewels.

               "I can't retire," she ranted, "my work is never done,
               she was shaking her finger with every single word.
                        "And another thing mister, I'm not your damn waitress."
                  I began to lose interest then she gave me the "bird."

         So, I froze in my seat and didn't move a muscle,
          her voice was loud and she was right in my face.
            "I'm the queen of this castle and don't you forget it,
             you're not taking over, I'm the boss of this place."
   
    She chewed me out like my old drill sergeant 
       and needless to say, it made me feel like a jerk.
          Choosing the right time to retire takes planning,
    then helping each other to make things work.

  ~~~~~~~




Recognized

#1130
2020


For all the men whose wives don't work and are planning on retiring in the near future please be prepared. Such as, having several hobbies or interests that get you out of the house frequently so that your wife is allowed to have her space and privacy. After being at home by herself for years, in many cases, over 30 years. And then all of a sudden the husband retires and you're thrown together almost every day. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I tried to portray the wives becoming very upset about their husbands retiring and just laying around the house underfoot. Too much togetherness is not a good thing...Bill
Pays one point and 2 member cents.


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