Humor Poetry posted October 2, 2020


Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Inventive Geniuses contest entry

The Infomercial

by DragonSkulls

Inventive Geniuses! Contest Winner 

The jingle:
    You won't have to worry
    if you're home or not.
    Anywhere you go...
    it's Zip-n-Squat!

~

When busy at your daily chores
and have no time to spare,
unzip your pants and take a squat
and simply go right there.

The bathroom's never far away
when strapped right to your waist.
Convenience is a bonus perk
if needing one in haste.

You'll never have to leave the yard
while playing with your tot.
You won't miss cherished memories
with your own Zip-n-Squat.

When dancing with your favorite girl
and friends out in the street,
with Zip-n-Squat the fun won't end.
You'll barely miss a beat.

When on the beach beneath the sun
where sand is blazing hot,
you won't defile the ocean waves.
You're safe with Zip-n-Squat.

Let's say you're on a movie date
and holding in a grunt.
With Zip-n-Squat you'll never hear,
"Hey, lady, down in front!"

Perhaps you're at an interview.
You sit up tall and straight.
With Zip-n-Squat you get the job
when others couldn't wait.

If on the day you tie the knot
your stomach growls and twists.
Just quickly use your Zip-n-Squat
then stand up for the kiss.

Now anywhere is limitless
to live so joyously.
With Zip-n-Squat strapped to your butt
you're free as free can be.

What would you pay for such a prize?
A hundred? Maybe two?
If calling in your order now,
we have a deal for you.

Just three small payments and it's yours
of nineteen ninety-five.
With Zip-n-Squat you're always free
to truly be alive!

~

The jingle:
    You won't have to worry
    if you're home or not.
    Anywhere you go...
    it's Zip-n-Squat!





                             Collection bags sold separately.




 



Inventive Geniuses!
Contest Winner

Recognized


I created this silly picture myself.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.


Save to Bookcase Promote This Share or Bookmark
Print It View Reviews

You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.


© Copyright 2021. DragonSkulls All rights reserved.
DragonSkulls has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.