Reviews from

Winter in Kita-ku

A sensory memory.

23 total reviews 
Comment from Blu Rider
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It sounds so delightful Chris, or I should say, you've made it sound delightful, in five lines, and that takes a special talent. Beautifully enhanced by the photo you've chosen, plus your notes.

Not much to be critical of, except perhaps using a definite article twice when words are limited, although I can see why you did it, as it creates a sense of natural recollection without becoming unnecessarily descriptive.

Congratulations on placing third in the contest! Well done.

Last year I cleared a bed in front of my porch and planted lemon, lime, tangelo and mandarin, which, although still small, are already bearing fruit. No yuzo or sour orange, but still, I'm looking forward to them growing full size and hopefully emulating your sensory experience! Patience is a virtue when it comes to gardening. -Blu

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2021
    I love citrus trees. Not only practical but the scents. I have two Japanese lemon trees in my house in Dallas that are like pets They are in large pots (have to take them inside in the winter until the get a little bigger) but I will plant them next year?we?re creating a garden. Not sure about NZ but here begign neglect is the secret to plentiful fruit production! I hope the nring you joy.
reply by Blu Rider on 13-Mar-2021
    Benign neglect is something I'm very familiar with. But they really do need feeding, three or four times a year, and especially when fruiting. I use a slow release granular fertiliser specific to citrus.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
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CONGRATS ON YOUR PRIZE! Cheers. LIZ

Evocative! I can smell the citrus--when I finish writing this I'll going to eat all five of the luscious clementines left in my fruit bowl.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
    Thank you Elizabeth!
Comment from lyenochka
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That must be a southern area to have citrus trees "laden with fruit" in the winter time of year. I like how your poem invokes smells and taste (sour orange) - a very powerful sensory associated with memory.

Welcome to Fanstory!

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
    Southern end of Japan. Thanks for the kind review!
Comment from Debra White
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Hello :)
Congratulations on your placing in the contest!
I really enjoyed your poem. You took me to the kit-ku neighbourhood with you, with your beautiful description of the smell of citrus fruit. Your author note also left my mouth watering!
Your use of alliteration is very effective. Great presentation also.
Best wishes, Debra :)

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
    Thank you Debra!
Comment from Patty Cicero
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"I miss
the smell
of the citrus trees,
limbs laden with fragrant fruit,
yuzu, sour orange."

*a lovely piece for this contest. Surely a contender for the win!

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
    Thanks Patty!
Comment from zanya
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Wow - the sensory experience here is so well evoked I think I can almost get that citrus scent at this remove !!'smell/of the citrus trees'-beautiful visual to illustrate

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
    Thank you Zanya.
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
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I love the photo you chose to go with your poem l could inhale the citrus aroma now. It must be delightful smell that fruitful armor all around town not like it is in some places in New York City. I enjoyed reading your write
take care
Cookie

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
    Thank you Miss Cookie. Stay safe in the Big Apple!
reply by Miss Cookie Atkinson on 08-Mar-2021
reply by Miss Cookie Atkinson on 08-Mar-2021
    Your very welcome but I live in the suburbs and the air is still fresh

    Cookie
Comment from Leann DS
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I enjoyed experiencing your winter through the senses. Nice job expressing the season through the imagery is used to create your poem. A fun read for me. Hugs and blessings to you always.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
    Thank you Leann. I?m happy you enjoyed it!
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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-Very nice image, and
notes are appreciated, C2.
-I am enjoying learning
about these cultural things.
-The syllable count is good,
along with the topic.
-Effective imagery relating
to the smell, appearance,
and taste of the citrus.
- I can see why you would miss it.
-Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
    Thank you Pam!
reply by Pam (respa) on 07-Mar-2021
    You are very welcome.
Comment from 4theloveoftrees
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This is a love entry for the 5-line poem contest and I enjoyed the visuals of walking down neighborhood streets lined with different varieties of citrus trees, a very appealing picture. After reading a few of your poems it seems you really enjoyed living in Japan! Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2021


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
    I do write about other subjects but I spent two years in Osaka and came back just before the pandemic. I think my time there is fresh on my mind?and was the last bit of freedom I enjoyed before Covid so it keeps creeping into my writing. Glad you are enjoying the trip down memory lane with me!