Reviews from

Family Matters ~ Poetry & Prose

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Truly The Last Boy Scout"
About my family

36 total reviews 
Comment from evilynne
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That's a very fine tribute to your dad, wonderfully written. From your notes, I think that the format is correct. The picture goes along very nicely. Evi

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
    Hi Evi. Thank you for your wonderful review, comments, and rating. Much appreciated. Marilyn
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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Your title is intriguing and the poem is a wonderful tribute to your Dad. I admired its rhymes and repeats, plus the antique photograph. I am glad you were inspired by Dorothy to craft this form. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
    Thank you, Joan. My dad was a very good guy. Marilyn
Comment from misscookie
Excellent
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I like the artwork you choose to go with your poem
It is a perfect match.
How sweet you were to write this poem in honor of your fathers on his birthday.
I know he is proud of you.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
    Hi Cookie. Thank you for your nice review on the poem for my dad. Marilyn
reply by misscookie on 24-Mar-2017
    You're very welcome. Until next time.
    Cookie
Comment from fionageorge
Excellent
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What a wonderful tribute to your father, with this well written and well structured Rime Couee poem. Just one small observation:
this good boy turned good man, no doubts. (should that be doubt? not 'doubts'?
Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
    Hi Fiona. No, "doubts" is the word I want there. Someone else suggested that, too, but I have no doubts at all that he was a good man and nobody else would either. It was plan to see. If a person were to say, "no doubt he was a good man" implies there IS a doubt--it's "iffy." No "ifs" with my father. Thank you for your nice review. Marilyn
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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This is delightful to read. The twist at the end as you reveal the identity of this "last boy scout" makes it even better. You must be so proud of you dad. He sounds like a good man, and no doubt was grown that way from boyhood. Hurrah for a joyful poem celebrating him.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
    Hi debi. Thank you for your very nice review of my poem about my dad. Basically, I think both my parents were "orphans" because they lost parents at early age. They were determined to have a nice home life for themselves and my sister and I and they succeeded. I feel blessed. Marilyn
Comment from Marvin Calloway
Excellent
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Well done.
I'll bet writing this poem was an emotional roller-coaster for you.
Enlightening as well as enjoyable.
Getting to know him a little is an honor.
Marv

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
    Hi Marv. Thank you for your great review. I lost my dad quite a while ago (1997). He was such a good guy. Honest, upbeat and a little mischievous, plus he spoke his mind but never raised his voice. Marilyn
Comment from ~Dovey
Excellent
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Hi Marilyn:

This is my first experience with a Rime Couee poem. I enjoyed the 8-8-6 meter and the aab rhyme scheme in each stanza. I think that limiting this piece to two rhyming patterns keeps the lyrical beat for the reader. It is an excellent tribute to your Dad for the anniversary of his birthday. Thank you for sharing.

Kim

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
    Thank you Kim. I appreciate your detailed review and nice comments. Marilyn
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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A Rime Couee poem - a style I particularly
like - well written, the words, rhythm and
rhyme flowing well throughout.

well penned, Carolyn.

Margaret

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
    Oh, thank you Margaret. It was my first attempt at writing one, but I admired one written by Dorothy Fennell and decided to try it. Marilyn
Comment from ronnie k
Excellent
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Pride, admiration are the extra attraction of love, it so wonderful to have our life filled with all for our loved ones, memories are a nourishment for living a life with no regrets,

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
    Thank you so much, ronnie. He was a very good guy and a great dad. Marilyn
Comment from Joy Graham
Excellent
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This is a lovely remembrance of your dad, Marilyn :) I enjoyed reading it and getting to know a little more about you and your family.

Lines 3 and 4 don't sound natural to me. I wouldn't speak like that. I don't have any helpful suggestions,sorryabout that. I can see that you rhymed clad and lad.

This poetry form has a nice feel to it. So I think you have something good going on here.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2017


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
    Hi Joy. Thank you for your review. Dorothy Fennell suggested that line four be changed to "Mischief he loved, this wiry sprout" (for meter) which I do like and before that I had it as, "Full of mischief, this wiry sprout." Actually I like it both ways. Line 5, "his inner mettle made him stout (solid, grounded, real)" is so like him. He had a backbone that many don't have today.
    Yesterday was his birthday. Marilyn