Reviews from

Pebbles in my Shoe

Picking at old scabs.

41 total reviews 
Comment from Lucian Carter
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I did not realize this was non-fiction until I reached the end. I'm having trouble registering that. That's because this is so much a great idea for fiction that I can't imagine how it can be this good AND true. There's nothing I can say to improve this because there's no plot to improve and the execution is 99.99999999% perfect (see below).

"Look in the mirror, son. You're already in trouble." Ooh. A hit, a hit, a very palpable hit. Just a smashing line.

I was going to take a star off for using "inferred" instead of "implied". I could not bring myself to do that. So take this as a 7-star review if you wish.

I'd be surprised if this doesn't take home some level of prize in this contest.

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much, Lucian. I appreciate you overlooking my 'inferred' gaffe. I repaired the damage as soon as you pointed it out. Many thanks.

    I prefer writing fiction, but when pressed, I find non-fiction responds to the tactics.

    Thanks for a thoughtful review. Peace, Lee
Comment from Mustang Patty
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Lee;
I'm right there with you - it certainly feels like 1965 all over again. Growing up in New Jersey back then was certainly the middle of the 'melting pot.' I was lucky and grew up as the only Roman Catholic in a neighborhood of Jews. I learned Yiddish and celebrated all of their holidays - it wasn't a bad gig.

Thank you for sharing your entry for the contest. I wish you luck - its a great story,

A nit: '--like a(an) ethnic parfait--'

~patty~

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thank you, Patty. What I wouldn't give to speak Yiddish! You know how I love dialogue and dialect.
    Those of us who lived amid another culture are the richer for it. My characters are the richer for it. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from country ranch writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can relate how you feel we grew up in that era and we were judged by the people we spent our time with. People just didn't understand we kids weren't into all that political crap of who was a spic,pollack. Black and all that stuff. We were kids and just wanted to act like kids.

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thank you, CRW. Some times the kids know best. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
reply by country ranch writer on 10-Oct-2017
    Smiles
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Lee, the morale of your story is that we are who we are and more or less the product of where we come from. Why have everybody such a hard time accepting that? I don't know, but the world would be a better place if we could accept that. I loved your thought provoking story. Wonderfully written as usual. All the best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017

Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The US is truly a melting pot of racial bias. Australia had a "white Australia" policy during the 50s and 60s, because they didn't want to inherit America's immigrant based prejudice, cynical but practical, we haven't suffered those probems, although we are multicultural now, but racism remains under the surface, and not really a problem. I have two delightful grandchildren because my younger child married an Indenesian by, so viva mixed marriage. Very sad what happened to those friends and others. The polish girl sounded "grouse", I'm surprised with her wisdom, you didn't hit it off, well done Lee, excellent, story, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thank you, Roy. You're right. Our 'melting pot' ideal is more a goal than a reality. I believe we continue to make progress. But there are still groups who foment discord and divisiveness. I believe our current President fosters such divisions.
    Bringing people together at the family level is our best hope. There are no mixed marriages. Only love. God bless you all.
    Peace, Lee
reply by royowen on 10-Oct-2017
    Well done
Comment from His Grayness
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Always brilliantly written, captivating from the outset, and permanent throughout the entire read. I loved this story from the outset as I personally experienced some of these circumstances in my own earlier days of learning the ropes of love. I think the photo of the stone in the sand said a lot about what was coming in the story and overall, (as always) this writer has delivered another absolute delight and I cannot suggest anything to make it any better. HIS GRAYNESS; Vance

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thank you again, Vance. The beauty of writing about these things is, we've all been there. We all have a similar tale to tell. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You really have a way with words Lee. I do enjoy your stories. I like the way you told this one too. It would be a wonderful world if we all could learn from each others ethnicity rather than hate it. It would be nice if we could live and let live. Nancy

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
    Thank you, Nancy. Words and I have always gotten along. Can't say the same for wrenches and ripsaws, though.

    The notion that ethnicity is a threat baffles me. Marlin Perkins told us hippos are territorial. Well, humans are, too.
    Sometimes I think coral is smarter than we are.

    Thanks again, Nancy. Peace, Lee
Comment from Halfree
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

In your story I saw my own coming of age years. Bullies were around and seemed to be isolated souls looking for something. I got punched out by a guy a year or so in front of me in school. He was bigger with a bad attitude. I came across him several years later in a pool room and the conditions were reversed. When he saw me he seemed uneasy. I told him I thought he ought to leave, he looked at me, started to say something and thought it better to leave and walked away.
Funny, I got no satisfaction from the encounter.
Anyway, this is an excellent story, well written and captures a time and place very well. Think this ranks as one of your best...too bad I cannot give double sixes.

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
    Thanks so much, Hal. Contrary to what were taught, all bullies aren't cowards. But that doesn't mean they can't be intimidated. Problem is, sometimes we have sacrifice our principles in order to make a point. Maybe that's why you felt no satisfaction from your pool room encounter. Just guessing.

    Anyway, thanks for the glowing remarks. I'm hoping this review means you're amassing funds to post something. It's been too long! Looking forward.

    Peace, Lee
reply by Halfree on 02-Oct-2017
    Lee have so many unfinished stories that I will finish befor I start another. Some I need to pull...they ain't as good as I once thought
Comment from pbomar1115
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your life's history updates us what has always been. People influence each other, at least that was the case between you and Aldene. Your compatibility was a personal relationship that lasted. Your attraction to Louise, from her outlook, flattered her. Great story.

Phillip

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
    Thank you, Phillip. It was a complicated time and place. Still, I'm grateful I have such memories to look back on. A dull life is a wasted life. Maybe. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
reply by pbomar1115 on 03-Oct-2017
    Like all of us, you were a young kid, growing up. It was a great read for me, Lee. Not dull.

    Phillip
Comment from Spitfire
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A superb example of brilliant writing with your original and humorous metaphors and similes. This brought back memories of how my parents wanted to know the last names of my friends and then type them as to ethnic background. I find myself automatically doing it myself now. Love that your mother rewarded you for punching Eddie who deserved it. Louise was smart to recognize her brother's problem.
Lee, if this doesn't take first place, I'll be shocked.
I learn about great writing from reading your posts.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
    Ah, I'd forgotten about the last name thing. No one told me you could judge someone by their last name. I thought my mother had superpowers. Torres, Casey, D'Angelo, Horowitz, Shumski--my mother knew them all. Or thought she did.
    There's a difference between sorting and judging. My mother judged, but she never told me how last names worked. I once dated a girl named Shannon O'Brian. I had no clue she was Irish. Nor did I care.

    Thanks for your kind words and glittery review, Shari.

    Peace, Lee