Reviews from

Exposed Rose

A harsh wind could ruin everything.

3 total reviews 
Comment from WalkerMan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You express the situation described in your notes very well with the analogy of the rose losing petals in a sudden gust of wind, and it is certainly true that a lost petal cannot be reattached. However, if all flowers were that fragile, there would be far fewer (if any) anymore.

Human beings have four recourses flowers lack.

One is not to let hurt feelings fester, which includes making them clear to the offender in hope of receiving a timely apology and/or other amends. Otherwise the offender may not realize what has happened.

The second recourse is to forgive -- certainly after a received sincere apology, but also if it is evident that the offender has the personality flaw of being oblivious to such effects of his or her words or actions. In that case, forgiving but minimizing contact is best.

The third recourse is to be consciously harder to rile. Life is full of irritations and setbacks, so a degree of steadfastness avoids a lot of heartache.

Fourth is to immediately strike back with at least as much force, as doing so often causes the offender to think twice before behaving badly again. This is the most effective measure against habitual bullies.

Though doing so is not always appropriate in the circumstances, it certainly is for our president after all the intentional guff he has had to endure (regardless of what you think of his policies or of him personally).

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer definitely deserves a slap-down over his recent clear threats to Supreme Court Justices Gorsuch and Kavanaugh, regardless of the topic.

As a poet, you have done well here, for your post invites thought.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    I'm glad you found my poem thought-provoking. Thank you for taking time to read and review it and for the helpful advice.
reply by WalkerMan on 31-Aug-2020
    You are welcome. It is an interesting topic to ponder. -- Mike
Comment from Susan X Smith
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an interesting poem since the idea of rose petals is normally a fluffy, romantic notion, and here something more ominous is indicated. i enjoyed reading this one.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I had fun breaking away from the cliché and viewing it from a new perspective.
Comment from Aaron Milavec
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poets have their own settled instincts, and I hesitate to say anything to you. Yet, for what it is worth, I risk sharing my perception (which may not be yours):

The rose unfurled and open unfurled flag but unfurled rose?
I observe helplessly
The onerous weight of billowing petals weight of petals?
Threatening to be cast overboard overboard? why rose opens on ship?
Into gusty waves--no option for return.


I hasard an alternative that (in my ears) has more credibility:

The roses on the vine burst open
While I observe helplessly
The fragile delicacy of those petals
Threatening to be plucked by the wind
And torn asunder--no option for return.

Aaron

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    Aaron,

    I'm sorry my poem did not meet your expectations. Though criticism can be hard to hear, I appreciate that you gave me your honest opinion and insight. How else will I improve my skills?

    Your review has brought to my attention that my metaphors may be too subtle, since the inception I tried to create (being a rose about to lose its petals, feeling like a ship in a storm) fell away in favor of an outside observance.

    It is good to consider alternate perspectives and I hope you might be willing to give me feedback on future posts as well.

    Perhaps next time I will try something more concrete.

    -Rachelle
reply by Aaron Milavec on 09-Sep-2020
    Dear Rachelle,

    Words are such frail messengers that try to capture the precious feelings of your human heart.

    Aaron