Reviews from

Double Blind

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Double Blind~Chapter Nine"
A Sally Law Mystery

29 total reviews 
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Many kudos on winning the Book of the Month Contest with this chapter. Thank you for providing a synopsis of the previous chapter and engaging our attention with the mysterious photo. Your attention to detail and use of dialog with the first person made me feel I was in the middle of the scene. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
    Thank you, dear Joan. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my most recent chapter. It rocks on from here.
    Sending you my best today as always,
    Sally xoxo
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Congrats on your win. This is a gripping story, masterfully told. The suspense is excruciating. Missed this release--glad I caught up. Hope this ends well. Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 12-Jun-2020
    Thank you very much for the excellent review and kind compliments. It is so appreciated. I'm pleased you're enjoying my novella.
    Sending you my best today as always,
    Sally :)
Comment from Contests

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2020
    Thank should very much for the seven star rating and recognition. I am honored!!
    Sending along my best today as well,
    Sally :))
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another very well-executed chapter in your exciting story, in which the reader can't help but grow in admiration for Clementine, with her survival skills and forensic forethought, and disdain for the villainous kidnapper, whose mercenary agenda has no respect for life.

A few minor errors:

An overcoat and a cowboy hat help conceal
-->
An overcoat and a cowboy hat helped conceal

So, where's Bobby DeWoody?"
-->
"So, where's Bobby DeWoody?"

"He was airlifted along with the other two men and awaiting surgery this morning.
-->
"He was airlifted along with the other two men and is awaiting surgery this morning.

I'm also getting to know and appreciate Detective Lembowsky better and better, as well as Clementine's family, and of course that heartthrob of a hero, Bobby DeWoody.
I love that Sally wants to give the Detective a dog. That will make an endearing sub-plot. King's involvement always gets four paws up!

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
    Thank you for the wonderful review and generous stars, dear Mary Kay. I appreciate the helpful critique and I have employed them all. It looks great. I appreciate your good eyes. Of course, King is the added star in my crown. It just wouldn't be the same without him. I'm pleased as can be that you enjoyed this chapter. :) ;)
    Sending you my best today as always,
    Sally xoxoxo!!!
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 10-Jun-2020
    You're very welcome, Sal, as always. Love, hugs and woof! - Mary Kay xoxo
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2020
    Glad you love it. I finished chapter 10 today. Hang on!!!! :) ;)
    Sal xoxoxo
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 10-Jun-2020
    A new chapter on the way? I can't wait! - Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from sherrygreywolf
Excellent
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Enjoyable read, though (since I've come in on Chapter Nine) I'm a bit behind & confused. The work seems a bit fragmented, but that is probably because I'm starting in the middle. I may come back and revise this after I catch up. The only obvious thing that I see as a problem (and again, it could just be me) is that your police consultant, Sal, seems a bit more obviously emotional than would be productive to be a successful LE consultant. Could be because she works with dogs - I know from experience that people who work with/train dogs can be very emotionally invested in their work. Can't wait to see if the black GSD finds a home with the Detective. Or maybe he will end up with Sal - stranger things have happened, right? Yep - definitely going to have to play catch-up on this and keep reading.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2020
    Welcome to FanStory, Sherry!
    Thank you for excellent review and interest in my novella. I'm thankful you gave me a try. Do catch up, as you have missed quite a bit. I have written myself into this book, my second in the series. I'm a blind writer in real life and write much of my real self into my stories, especially my blind girl series of books. :)
    The first, 'What The Blind Girl Saw' is in my portfolio and awarded on FanStory. It has very recently been published on Amazon Kindle Books.

    'Double Blind' is my second novella and has already been awarded twice since February. Check my portfolio for both to catch up, as it is listed by chapters. My writing style has many things going on at the same time and won't change. Each chapter is packed with action and character interactions as my relationships developed in book one carry over to book two. I have added lots of new characters, too.

    What kind of writer are you? I will check you out as soon as I am able.

    Thanks again. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sally :)
reply by sherrygreywolf on 05-Jun-2020
    Hey again, Sally. You asked what I write ... Mostly poems and shorts since my interests bounce around too much to make my trying to write anything longer very productive - lol. Love horror shorts, btw, but pretty much anything where I can throw the reader a curve ball toward the end of the piece makes my day. I was relatively active here on FS back in 2009 but life got complicated and interfered until now. Still pretty chaotic but I really need to do something for me at this juncture. Hopefully I can begin writing again - I have missed it. Stay safe & healthy, my new friend
Comment from RPSaxena
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Sally,
It's a nice piece of Mystery and Crime Fiction having impressive phraseology, captivating flow taking the story onward smoothly up to the end which is working as a HOOK.
Interesting Indeed!
I'm waiting for the next part.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
    Thank you very much for the excellent review and generous stars RP. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sally :)
reply by RPSaxena on 05-Jun-2020
    Sally, Most Welcome!
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great installment, Lady Sal!! Love the strength you've developed in Tine in this one and the fact that we've got our eye on a dog for the detective!! ;) Maybe the wine will be bad... sigh. :) Thanx for sharing, my lady! :) Yvette

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
    Thank you for the outstanding review and kind commemts, dear Yvette. I am deeply honored, my friend. I think this needs more dogs though. Whaddya think? I have to break the tension somewhere. :) ;)

    So glad you like.
    Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal xoxo
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I think you're doing a great job with the fragmented, multi faceted view point of this story. We get the kidnappers view, the cops and the father, the family, and Clementine. Through it all the story unfolds with great attention to detail in your descriptions of scene and the emotional dialogue. we see the whole thing coming together from different points scattered on a map. Above average for this site. estory

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
    Thank you so much for the nicest compliment and for the shower of stars to go with it. I really appreciate you and your constant encouragement in my work. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sally xo
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh this is so painful journeying with Tine. Not just physically, but emotionally. Not again! I love the way you put character in your story like how she almost chokes in her coffee! I get the visual immediately! Glad to here no deaths yet... :). Carry on beautiful spirit! You story continues to shine! xoxoxoxo

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
    Thank you, my friend. This is such an honor. I appreciate you kind attention to my work and constant encouragement. This means the world to me. So pleased you're hanging in....
    Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal xoxoxoxoxoxo
reply by Diana L Crawford on 02-Jun-2020
    I do believe I missed a Chapter, and will go back to read! But i didn?t skip a beat in what must have happened. I do want to read the marvelous details though! xoxoxo. I wish this was a more emoji - user friendly site! haha!!!
reply by Diana L Crawford on 02-Jun-2020
    Haha! I just found we have become emoji friendly! Woo hoo!!🤦‍♀️😂❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poor Tine. She isn't having a lot of luck at the moment. The tension of the family is portrayed well by the sister who is 'reading' but not turning pages.

I only picked up one thing but feel free to ignore it:
Tine sensed the presence of someone. - I might have said 'someone... or something' but that's just a personal preference.

Best wishes
Judy

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
    Thank you so much, dear Judy. I appreciate the kind review and comments. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sally xoxo