Reviews from

Just a Kiss

A kiss between strangers

19 total reviews 
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Hello, anonymous,

Interesting entry for the
100 Word Dash writing prompt contest. You incorporated the first kiss into your flash fiction. Good job with the word count. It's hard to write flash fiction. You did well. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
    Thank you for reading
    They had the vote on the contest yesterday.
    About the shortage of words:
    I have yet to write a short story. I might try this one.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Excellent
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This is a good strong entry for the 100 Word Dash writing prompt. It should do very well in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
    Thank you for reading
    The voting booth is open now for it.
    Lol, vote for me
reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 18-Jun-2020
    Great!
reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 18-Jun-2020
    I already voted, I think.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
    Lol
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
Excellent
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This is really really good. For a 100 word dash contest this is a really nice little story. I 1 be at all surprised if you win this contest. I was disappointed when it ended so abruptly not knowing that it's a 100 word dash. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
    Thank you
    I have yet to write a short story. This might be a good idea for it. Plus add in more detail about the real story.
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi there,

This is a nice little piece for the competition. There is a good tonal quality to the write and a sense of longing in the writing and come the end. Very nice.

I would suggest deleting the space under the text as it gives the impression the work is much longer than it actually is.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
    Thank you for your review.

    I rather like this piece now that I have read it a few times. When I write, I end up hating a piece before I am done. After a couple days I can read it and pick up the stuff between the lines. I tend to put a lot of me into pieces that are not about me. I learn a lot about myself from reading old entries.
Comment from Tsukuyomi969
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Now I'm super intrigued about the real story!

This was really nice, a little sweet and a lot mysterious. I also like how many questions this evokes: did they just walk away after the kiss? Why was a kiss all they shared? What was the lecture about? Great job. Cheers!

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
    Thank you
    I love your review on this. You picked up all the stuff that I did not write. Clever.

    Sometimes, I do not even realize I have written in a certain nuance.

    I love curious people.

    There are a lot more places than a teacher/ pupil scenario. I worked in research for a big corporation for 20 years.
    A lot of lectures of basic scientific knowledge- we had to attend at times.

    They might have been aware of each other for a long time.
reply by Tsukuyomi969 on 17-Jun-2020
    Ahh a slow burn building to a kiss is even better.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
    Yes I thought so. Maybe one day I will do a flash fiction and tell the true story.
Comment from Ric Myworld
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You've jogged my memory to think back, curious as to how foolish I've been for all these years. How many times those little butterflies in my stomach and goosebumps down my spine told me yes, until my better judgement told me no. A simple kiss to show affection--or, sexual assault to land in jail--possibly branded a pervert, forever. Huh, I think I'll leave that idea alone. Great job, and good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
    Thank you for reading.
    I think you got what I was trying to say. Connections happen or moments occur- most not in a kiss.
    They stay with us I think.
    The ones that made a lasting impression.
    Actually I was not thinking of a teacher/ student inappropriate anything.
    I worked for a company in the research- there were many lectures where papers were presented.

    Just a thought- but if you are asked to write about a kiss with a stranger. These days it is assumed to be sexual harassment.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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This is a fresh take--kiss once and done vs start of a beautiful romance. Too bad this is a flash--doesn't avail you of the opportunity to build suspense. Good luck. Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
    Thank you for reading

    I agree it would have been fun with a bigger word count.
    ....but it reminds me of brief connections or a moment you have w someone you do not know. You may never see that person again but you might remember that feeling. Moments like do not happen that often.
Comment from sandramitchell
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We can all dream. There were a few gorgeous lads at my school, none of whom asked me out on a date. But, when I saw them years later, I thanked my lucky stars they didn't!! lol. I enjoyed your little story, just the one kiss and nothing more. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
    Thank you
    Fun to write and not necessarily based on a school lecture.
    I worked as a research scientist for many years and we attended lectures quite often? Maybe some day I will write a true story
Comment from roof35
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Even if it never happened, I liked it and you did it without too many words. It was unique and your illustration paired beautifully with it. It was nicely done.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
    Thank you for reading
    To me I was thinking about these moments we have that never last long but stay w us forever.
Comment from sibhus
Excellent
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Some fine writing, it has an alluring steaminess to it that is very appealing. This is a great entry for the competition, which I'm sure will do very well. Good luck.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
    Thank you for reading
    People have mentioned that it begs a lot of questions. It is fiction but a combinations of brief moments of connection that came and went, but I have remembered them.

    Questions:
    Was this written at a college or at another place?
    Was this a student or woman?
    Did these people know each other?

    I had not thinking sexy as writing, but I definitely agree it has the vibe.

    I got that after I posted this.

    I think it is interesting to think that when we write, parts of us come into our pieces if you read between the lines.

reply by sibhus on 15-Jun-2020
    Whenever you write there is always a piece of you in the writing somewhere.