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Par Angusta Ad Augusta

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Chapter 14"
Through Trial to Triumph

3 total reviews 
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This work has reached the exceptional level

This Chapter 14 of the fiction is a solid work on relationships through orderly taletelling, fostered by balanced plot development, realistic and contributory dialogues to the thematic maturation; good beginning and curious ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2020

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
    Thank you so much for these stars. I really appreciate your continuing support.
Comment from Annie Rose1
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very good, I enjoyed reading and found the conversation easy to follow, I can't see what you need to do to improve it, but I'm just a novice compared to your work, so I would actually find it improper to make comment, Just wanted you to know it is one of the best bits I've read, since joining this month. I don't really read anything, other than Sci Fi of Fantasy, so was pleasantly surprised. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
    Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Welcome to FanStory.
Comment from AnnieDawn
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Just a few common errors that may be my own judgement but this chapter was not as easy to read as the last chapter. I really have no suggestions. I like the note after the chapter as you may get some good tips from some of the good story writers which I am not one. Good luck. You are very talented.

Anya proved to be easy-going, her only requested addition in her new home being a bookshelf as she liked to read when not working, and twice as competent and industrious.(This sentence posed a problem for me after the comma. Maybe a new sentence from there?)

he was surprised when the doorbell rang. (Capital on the H)

her ambulatory taking the stairs and unlocking the door.(ambulatory seems out of place here. Maybe another word?)

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
    Thank you for these tips. I think I forgot a second word in the last thing you pointed out (employees) as Monique uses a wheelchair (discussed extensively in previous chapters.) Thanks for taking the time.