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 General Fiction posted February 28, 2021


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12 long days

A Partridge In A Pear Tree

by BlueMarble

12 days of christmas Contest Winner 

“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
 
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
 
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three French hens
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree”


 
 
Well, you get the idea. The story goes on through all twelve days of Christmas and the gifts a girl’s true love brings to her each day. 
 
This particular true love seems to have a fixation on birds while giving no thought to the fact that the story takes place in the middle of winter. I can’t help but wonder about that poor partridge trying to survive the winter sitting in a pear tree. For that matter I wonder what one does with a pear tree when there is two feet of snow on the ground. (The story gets even better on the seventh day with a flock of swans looking for a place to swim).
 
If this story were about me, and it was my true love bringing all those gifts every day, I would much rather he brought me a partridge in a shiny new crock pot.
 
Now there’s a thought that makes my mouth water just to think about - partridge marinated in wine sauce and slow cooked in a brand new crock pot.  I can almost smell it simmering in that pot until its tender enough to fall off the fork and melt in my mouth with taste pleasing delight.   Doesn’t that sound so much more romantic than a bird freezing its tail feathers off up in a tree?
 
 “On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A partridge in a fricassee”
 
But then if that song had been written in today’s world, with the hero being my own true love, and if it were about the gifts he brings to me during the twelve days of Christmas, Wild Turkey and Colonel Sanders are the only birds that ever shows up.
 
“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A fifth of some cheap whiskey”
 
It’s not that he sees me as a lush or anything like that - but he knows that I do enjoy a shot of cheer now and then during the holiday season.  For that matter, I can handle a few good size shots of good cheer when I’ve got good company to share it with, and I must admit - he is good company.
 
“On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two Tylenol and a fifth of some cheap whiskey"
 
As for the crock pot, well by day three I started to be pretty sure it wasn’t going to happen. 
 
"On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three chicken nuggets
Two Tylenol
And a fifth of some cheap whiskey .
.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four orange Rolaids
Three chicken nuggets
Two Tylenol
And a fifth of some cheap whiskey”
 
At least there weren’t any geese a laying or swans a swimming.  No maids a milking either (that would have triggered a shot gun a loaded.)
 
"On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five golden rings
Four orange Rolaids
Three chicken nuggets
Two Tylenol
And a fifth of some cheap whiskey”
 
Yes!  It’s true!  Day five went just like the song said it should; five beautiful golden rings.  Five sparkling and glittering golden rings that more than make up for all the pizza and Burger King and parties yet to come.
 
Once this twelve day fiasco is over:  as soon as all these ladies dancing, lords a leaping and fiddlers fiddling that he’s been bringing in to party clear out of here, and as soon as I finally get this mess cleaned up, and as soon as I catch my breath, I know exactly what I’m going to do first. 
 
Oh those golden rings!  They are what have kept me alive and breathing in spite of the drummers drumming hammering in my head.  The first thing I am going to do is take them to an appraiser.  They have got to be worth enough to pay for a one way ticket to the Carrabin next winter.  Next Christmas is going to be the best one yet!
 
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A macaw in a palm tree


 



12 days of christmas
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