General Script posted April 4, 2021


Exceptional
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Being in agreement

A Hot Potato Issue

by Susan Larson


Characters:
Mike, a 40 something accountant
Jack, his high school classmate, a college professor

Mike: Hey, Jack, is that you?

Jack: Mike! My gosh, it's been over twenty years! Hey, you're still looking' good.

Mike, Yeah, you, too. So, what have you been up to?

Jack: I'm teaching at the university. If you recall, I got a full scholarship there and got my degree in chemical engineering.

Mike: Oh, yeah, you were the smart one. I did okay, though. I worked summers and spring breaks, you know, tax time, at that local accounting firm, so I graduated debt free and now have an accounting firm of my own.

Jack: Yeah, that's the way we did things back then. Now these kids just take out loans and they want tax payers who had never even been to college to pay them back. Even those who goofed off and graduated at the bottom of their class!

Mike: Yeah, pretty disgusting.

Jack: Same thing with all these illegal immigrants wanting handouts. Remember that Bosnian family our church sponsored? The parents worked hard and didn't want any more help once they got settled. Remember when their son got his Eagle Scout badge when we were all in high school?

Mike: Yes, I do. Do you hear anything about any of our other classmates?

Jack: Yeah, remember that guy named Danny who always fell asleep during algebra class? I heard he's in prison for dealing drugs.

Mike: Not surprised. I think he was heavy into pot even back then.

Jack: Don't know why they want to legalize it. Research shows it almost always leads to the hard stuff.

Mike: Yes, and then they want tax payers to foot the bill for their rehab!

Jack: Same with free abortions.

Mike: Yeah, all that random sex and they want us to pay for their abortions. And they call it women's rights.

Jack: Speaking of women's rights, look what they're doing with sports. All that money I spent on tennis coaching for my daughter and now she's having to compete with guys! She'll never even make the team in college, much less hope for a scholarship!

Mike: My daughter, too. The so- called girls basketball team they played last week had three seven-foot hulks playing for them! We got creamed!

Jack: Yeah, the world is crazy. I'm so glad I ran into an old friend like you that I can relate to.

Mike: Yes, we always seemed to agree on everything.

Jack: And it's amazing what turns into a big controversy anymore. Look at the fuss over Mr. Potato Head. People thinking there should be a Mrs. Potato Head for women's equality.

Mike: Now, wait a minute, Joe. If toy companies can make Barbie and Ken, and Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy, isn't it backwards that they can't make a female Potato Head? And why does she have to be a Mrs.? Can't she be a single career woman?

Jack: C'mon, Mike, get serious.

Mike: I am serious. And besides that, Mr. Potato Head is brown. He looks like he's African American. They should make red skinned potatoes to represent Native Americans and Golden potatoes to represent Asians. Why should other minorities feel left out?

Jack: Aren't you getting a bit extreme here?

Mike: What, are you xenophobic? What do you have against other races?

Jack: So, what about us white guys? Why not a peeled potato head to represent us?

Mike: What? I never imagined you'd be a white supremacist! Don't we have enough white privilege without having to have a potato head represent us?

Jack: I can't believe you're serious.

Mike: Weren't we both raised Christian? What happened to you? Why are you so sexist? And why do you hate minorities so much? Would Jesus object to a Miss Potato Head? Or an Asian Potato Head?

Jack: This is ridiculous!

Mike: You are so unwoke!

Jack: Well, if you think your wokeness qualifies you to judge my commitment to Christianity over a damned plastic potato, then maybe we have nothing common after all.

Mike: With that I can agree! You know where you can stick your narrow-minded little head.

Jack: Where? The same place you need to pull yours out of?

Mike: I've had all I can take. I hope I never see you again.

Jack: Same here.

Mike: You're a deplorable! But, because I'm open-minded, I'll pray for you.












Recognized


Most of my "liberal" friends and I agree on 90% of all political issues. Those who don't agree with me 100% have unfriended me on Facebook for my being "narrow-minded."
Pays one point and 2 member cents.


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© Copyright 2021. Susan Larson All rights reserved.
Susan Larson has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.