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Cherish Minnow

Past and Present Collide... by cjvaughn
Chapter 3 of the book Choices

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Another great installment! I have been waiting to see what would happen next and was pleased to see your posting.

I like how you have developed Colleen's character. It's also interesting how you have flipped from past to present. It's a challenge to write those two storylines simultaneously and make the transition seamless.

The relationship between Colleen and Shelby is a unique turn. I think that Shelby is younger than Colleen; however, she taking on an older role with watching out for Colleen. It says something about the strength of her friendship and her responsibility as well.

Nicely done. I look forward to more!
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 20-Apr-2007

Holy Eucharist by AlvinTEthington

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A great poem. Rhyming scheme is virtually flawless and meter is solid throughout the entire piece.

You remind the reader that the Eucharist is a miracle that is witnessed by many. Something that, after awhile, becomes seemingly routine actually has great value and emotional attachment to those who are devoted to it's miraculous meaning.

Well done. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 17-Apr-2007

Darkest Waltz by rivki1111

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This is a fantastic piece of work. I love the visual representation how it pulls the reader in; colour scheme lends to the imagery and tone of your piece.

The naming of "Victorio" is fantastic; the name itself reminiscent of the old "lovers" stereotype, but also the use of the name in the poem tells a great story. Love poems don't always use the name of the beloved, in this case your naming him lends greatly to your work.

Well done. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 17-Apr-2007

Accident by greeneyes

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I would use the word 'enjoyable', but I"m not sure that the word is appropriate for the topic of your writing!

I thought it was cleverly written; a nice piece of (I hope) fiction with a good twist at the end. Hopefully no one would have to endure that little surprise ending.

A great piece of flash fiction! I could find no errors at all. Nothing to change, everything to enjoy.
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 17-Apr-2007

Enough Is Enough by sngldad4gd
Chapter 18 of the book Pieces of Self

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What a great way to tell a story . . . I like how your narrator doesn't exactly confess, but the reader is left to draw those conclusions for oneself. It's an interesting take on the sentence and you have lived up to the challenge!

I thought it was interesting how you don't reveal the narrator's gender. Hmmm . . . I wonder if it is an oversight, not important, or deliberate so that ALL readers can relate to this narrator.

I could find no SPAG. Good luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 17-Apr-2007

My Prayer by cmay44

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This is a great prayer of gratitude. I like the explanation in the author's notes that all should shout praise to the Lord.

You touch on many different beliefs in your prayer; about God giving his only Son, Jesus and helping the reader remember that there is much to be thankful for in this world.

This is a very heartfelt contest entry; your convictions and faith show through each word you wrote. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 17-Apr-2007

I will take you in by IamSpook

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Well done!

Emotionally evoking and reminiscent of a million memories . . . love for one another, strangers in war and friends outside of it, and many more.

This is a wonderful story and a good contender for the contest. As always, I enjoy your prose style, am drawn into your characters lives and feel connected somehow to this fictional world.

Well done and best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 17-Apr-2007

Forbidden Pleasures by mmichelle97219

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This is some great free verse thoughts. I like the personification of evil in the first line; shaking hands as though dealing with the devil.

As well, I thought the last line was indicative of the tone of the poem:

And the Darkness can be so enticing.

The word 'enticing' is quite choice. It is almost "convincing" in it's meaning, as though we can be convinced or tempted into the darkness. Good work with the capitalization of Darkness, like a place or person.

Nicely done.
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 15-Apr-2007

Twisting by sunkist1942

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Yeeoowwch!

My tongue is now twisted. Thanks a lot. ;) Is this something that your mother told you when you were younger? She must have enjoyed watching you walk around confused! I like it -- a fun, little exercise.

I don't know if I can make it to seven times, but am thinking that it must be no . . . do I want to try it? I'll need to have more time!
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 15-Apr-2007

For Life by mayflowerbg
Chapter 19 of the book Upon the Screes

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Simply beautiful with a wonderful message. I enjoyed the repetition in each stanza "for life" and how in each stanza it takes on a different meaning. My favourite part:

Walking along the path,
paving it with cobbles:
under each of them
I hide a memory.

Such wonderful imagery that we can use these memories to build a path toward something better. A great piece. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written by Cherish Minnow on 15-Apr-2007


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