Storybook Characters Endangered
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Jomo17

AmaZing Animals - R by sandramitchell
Chapter 18 of the book AmaZing Animals

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Once again, you knocked it out of the park. The poem is fun, informative, and easy to read. The meter is perfect which makes the poem smooth. The facts are interesting and would appeal to your target audience. I like the use of subtitles and yours are catchy. The illustrations complement the writing perfectly. I am so impressed.
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 27-Jul-2020

A Virtual Walk by jaybird1

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love this poem. The meter is perfect which is so important for a smooth reading. That's the technical part. It's the emotional part that is perhaps even more important, and you really did a great job eliciting an emotional response from the reader. Although it is obvious how much the person is missed, you somehow were able to make this more peaceful than melancholy. I think it's beautiful.
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 24-Jul-2020

memories fall down my cheeks ... by Melodie Michelle

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This poem brought me to tears. You did such a great job expressing how your memories of your son as a baby are so vivid. Then you bring the reader through the progression of your life which was fraught with so much adversity. Your guilt is palpable and I found myself wishing I could reassure you. Addiction is a disease and does not diminish your worth as a person. Your son sounds like an amazing person. I wish you and him the best.
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 24-Jul-2020

Rebecca's birthday. by royowen

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is such a beautuful tribute to your daughter. It has a nice rhythm and reads smoothly. You capture the essence of your daughter's kind nature which was demontrated in Kindergarten when she showed compassion for others. She has accomplished so much-2 degrees and a wonderful family. Happy birthday to your daughter!
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 24-Jul-2020

Anna, The Dog, and I by roof35

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very cute story about a child not sugar coating the truth. Great details and descriptions. I could picture the adorable dog taking off so he could see his little friend. The ending made me chuckle. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 23-Jul-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Gift by Jeff Watkins

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a beautiful piece of flash fiction. You set the scene with effective details so that the reader can imagine the setting vividly. I love that each word matters as it has to with this type of writing. I was able to imagine the child feeling enboldened because she feels safe with her aunt there. She strokes the starfish and sets it free indicating her kind heart. You elicited excellent imagary. I was able to picture the girl, her aunt, the man, and his dog. Good luck in the contest! This is a strong entry and I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 23-Jul-2020

Superpower Denied by humpwhistle

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really enjoyed this flash fiction piece. You got my attention right away. The first sentence is so important with flash fiction and your sentence drew me in immediately. I like how you wrote that Rachel thought of lip reading as her superpower but you didn't reveal what the superpower was until later on. I can relate to her secret as my hearing has deteriotated in the past few years. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 23-Jul-2020

Justice Begins at Home by roof35

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done! You wrote this story in a very belieavable manner and it it rang true throughout. Great dialogue. You established the point of view of the main character well and I felt sympathy and fear for her. I was glad it turned out well in the end. I was invested in the characters (both Emma and her family). Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 23-Jul-2020

The Operation by thaities, Rebecca V.

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent story! I was pulled in right away. I was actually scared that you were going to have to go through the operation without anesthesia. I don't blame you for fighting them off. When I was ten I had my gums cut at the dentist witout the novacaine kicking in. Nobody believed me and I was so docile I just let them do it. I felt everything! I love your descriptions and felt relief that you and your sister were ok. Two for the price of one. Wow, unreal how things used to go down. I love the ending. Your poor mom. The details you used were very effective, such as the blood in the floorboards. Good luck in the contest. This is a very strong entry.
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 23-Jul-2020

One nation under God by Jeffrey L. Michaux

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a really strong 5-7-5 poem. It's so difficult to convey thoughts and ideas in such few words with a strict syllable count. You really succeded in this task. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written by Jomo17 on 23-Jul-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.


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