Trumpet
by jonathan1
I think this is a splendid effort for your first piece! I am honored you asked me to review your work. These two sentences "A beginners pause as your lungs swell,
lucky there is beauty from my bell." are a bit out of rhythm with the rest of the poem. Listen and you can hear it, too. But this is NOT to stop you. You do have talent my friend - just need some practise. My best advise is to be your best ear. You will receive lots of advise out here but ultimately you are your own best judge. Best of luck and welcome to our group! edieas
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Comment Written by edieas on 07-May-2016
Read and reviewed with blinders on.
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reply by the author on 07-May-2016
Thank you for the kind words
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