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| Category: || General Script |
Posted:|| September 3, 2021 Views: 17|
a one-scene script with Fox and Felix
"Fox and Felix Fine: First Case 9"
by Bill Schott
FINE AS FROG'S HAIR
FINE AS SILK
FOX AND FELIX
GOT THE MILK.
Fox: ...... average young man
Felix:..... Fox's look-alike cousin
Lois:....... friend of Fox
Previously: Fox and Felix prepared Kay and Trent for interrogation by ripping duct tape off of their faces.
The scene opens in Lois's apartment. Fox, Felix, Lois, Sanders, and Kitty surround Trent and Kay who are fastened to chairs. Duct tape gags have been harshly ripped away and the two are expected to answer questions. Trent has threatened their lives and Kay has indicated that Felix would definitely die.
Lois: Can we find out what's going on now. We've been here quite a while.
Kitty: Yes, this shabby apartment makes time stand still.
Lois: (staring at Kitty) I'll stand your time still.
Felix: (to Lois) Be nice, Lori; she's the future mother of your nieces and nephews.
Sanders: I'll put her in a convent first.
Fox: Can we get to the questioning?
Kitty: My future children will be Trent's.
Fox: Wow! That seems provocative.
Felix: I sense a plot twist.
Kitty: Trent and I were going to run away and be married in Mexico.
Sanders: (staring at Trent) Don't say a word, boy.
Felix: That seems a bit antithetical to our purpose here, Scarton.
Fox: (toTrent) Talk to us, Trent. Scarson can't help you.
Lois: ( to Felix) My name is Lois, dumbass! What do you mean -- nieces and nephews?
Felix: When you marry Fox you'll be their aunt.
Sanders: It's time for lawyers now.
Fox: So, Trent. You weren't kidnapping Kitty; you were plotting with Sanders to take her to Mexico while Kay ran for mayor.
Felix: Sure! They're both crazy, but Kay could actually win the mayoral seat.
Trent: Kay was supposed to bring her, but she came alone and said she would become Kitty and be my wife. Then we could take over the city when we returned with our cartel connections.
Fox: So, Kitty, you must have been in on this somehow.
Sanders: No one talk until the lawyers arrive.
Felix: If any of this is true, why would Colonel Mustard hire us?
Kitty: (brandishing a pistol and speaking to Scarson) Everything will be fine, Daddy.
Felix: Looks like my plans for a blissful life as First Husband of the mayor are gone.
Sanders: A gun isn't necessary, Kitty.
Felix: (quickly kicks the gun from her hand) Let's not kill anybody just yet.
Lois: (steps in front of Kitty and punches her in the face) Off to "MED-ee-co", Kitty!
Felix: Okay, Louie. You've won my heart, babe.
Kay: I will gut you like a fish!
Lois: Not before I do.
Felix: Right! First it's "I do" then the gutting.
Fox: I'm sure the law will find a place for the Sanders clan to spend twenty years.
Lois: What's the charge, Fox? I don't think they broke any laws.
Felix: My heart may be broken.
Sanders: Twenty times your fee, I'll move out of your building, which you will now own, and Kitty will not run for mayor.
Lois: Maybe I could move in where they were.
Fox: I think we're forgetting Trent's threats and the drug cartel connection.
Trent: There are no connections. I sold that bill of goods to Scarson. I don't know anyone in Mexico.
Kay: I will kill you all!
Fox: You would have made a great mayor, Kay.
Felix: Let's get her untied so we can start our courtship.
Fox: We still don't know why Scarson hired us.
Lois: Simple. He wanted to ensure that Trent followed through with the plan to fly Kitty to Mexico. You two showing up was supposed to be a push, but it turned into, well. -- this.
Fox: This first case will be tough to top. We received twenty times our fee, own our building, and came out unscathed.
Felix: I did get stabbed with a knife.
Lois: You'd think you were macheted the way you go on and on about it. Hey! What did you mean -- when I marry Fox?
Felix: Just greasing the skids for you, Louise.
Lois: You're a class A jerk -- PEE-licks!
Felix: (winks at Lois) I hear ya, Luau. I'll try to keep my Friday nights free for you.
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