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 Category:  General Script
  Posted: November 14, 2019      Views: 21

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 ABOUT
BILL SCHOTT 

Retired Marine; retired high school teacher; married 34 years; father of three; five grandchildren; one rescue granddog.

He is a top ranked author at the #11 position.

He is an accomplished novelist and is currently at the #12 spot on the rankings.

He is an accomplished script writer and is currently at the #3 spot on the rankings.

He is an accomplished poet and is currently at the #34 spot on this years rankings.

He is also an active reviewer and is holding the #10 spot on the top ranked reviewer list.

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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
a one scene script
"Scene...Seed Spitting Contest 2" by Bill Schott



Characters:
Pons = average Joe
Ned = just Ned
Apollo = old Russian body-builder
Pallas = average Moe
Plan 9 = alien
Spitter 4 (Sp4) = itinerate vagrant
Spitter 5 (Sp5) = escaped lunatic
Spitter 6 (Sp6) = famous seed spitter Mike Rowe incognito
============================

Ned has won the initial spitting in the watermelon seed spitting contest. Pallas's seed landed at his feet, Plan 9's seed injured a spectator, and the other three contestants placed at varied lengths. Pons and Apollo have set up for the next leg of the contest -- accuracy. The sIx spitters are back on line. Judges have placed a Mason jar at the median distance of the previous spittings. 

Pons:  The second event requires the spitter to propel a seed into the jar centered on the field. Each participant will load three seeds in his or her mouth and try three times to hit the target. 

Apollo: You say his or her, but no womans are competing in spitting game.

Pons: Folks in the gallery pay attention to proper grammatical usage, Apollo.

lyenochka: (
to a person next to her) He used the proper singular pronoun. I may faint.

Y.M.Roger:  (
supporting the swaying audience member)  When this event is typed up we can stay awake counting spelling errors.

Thomas Bowling: I thought this was a watermelon spitting contest.

Phyllis Stewart: It is; shove a melon in your mouth and you can be a walk on.

Pons: Okay, Plan 9, since your seed was not found, you have the lowest score and will go first. Load and fire at will.

Plan 9:  (
tosses three seeds in his mouth and spits three times) Were these only thermal nuclear devices this contest would be worth the entry fee.

Ned: Entry fee? Guess I fergot ta pay mine. 

Pallas: I heard that, Ned. You're gonna be disqualified. 

Sp4: That would move moi to first place.

Sp5: So then I would be the King of France.

Sp6: And I'm still just here for laughs, but no one is laughing. 

Pallas: I'm laughing at you, Spit Boy.

Pons:  You seem to have missed the jar, Plan 9. We're not sure where your seeds hit.


Down the block, a fire hydrant is shooting water, a car alarm is blaring, and a leg is missing from the statue of the horse of a mounted revolutionary war hero. 

Apollo: There is rumor that Ned is being not qualified. 

Ned: Serlessly, iffn I knowd there were an entry fee, I'd a entered the javelin catchin' composition down at the factry perkin' lot. That one's fer free. 

Pallas: It's not too late, Ned. If you hurry you might still catch a javelin. Remember though -- no hands.

Pons: Your turn, Pallas.

Pallas:  (
loads his seeds and spits three times) Now I got a chance to win this baby.

Pons:  Looks like one seed landed a foot from the jar, one is on Pallas's chin, and the third has actually landed behind him. Spitter 4 go ahead.

Sp4: (
loads his seeds and spits three times).  From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

Pons: A bit dramatic, but your seeds have all landed in a close grouping a couple of inches around the jar. You're currently in the lead.  Spitter 5, load and spit.



Sp5: (loads his seeds and swallows them, then sprays a stream of vomit that reaches the front side of the mason jar) 

Pons: You've painted the target with all three seeds, Spitter 5. You are in the lead. Spitter 6, since you are Mike Rowe, and a Lassied contender, we're going to skip your spitting and have Apollo here roll you into a ball. 

Apollo steps up behind Mike Rowe, grabs him, and rolls him into a ball. 

Pons: That's entertainment, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Apollo: Was fun.

Ned: I know I caint compete, but could I help ya in this last E-vent?

Pallas: Shouldn't you be dodgin' spears, Ned? I'm the big loser here. I'll stay here and you go help mankind and catch a jav in your teeth.

Pons:  Okay, gentlemen; here's what's going to happen.  Ned and Pallas can both join the audience as you've been eliminated. Plan 9, we are at a loss as to where your seeds landed, but in the spirit of fair play we will let you compete in this final stage. 

Sp4: I predict I will prevail and spit a prize-winning pit.

Sp5: I predict I will prevail and spit a prize-winning pit.


Pons:  Uh, okay. Good. So, let's take a break and set up for the final phase. 


To be continued...
 
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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