Contact Us      
         Join today or login
You are using an outdated version. Writing will not be shown properly in many cases. Click here to use the current version.


New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?


15 Syllable Poem
Deadline: In 2 Days

Flash Fiction Writing Contest
Deadline: In 6 Days

5 Line Poem
Deadline: Aug 14th

True Story Contest
Deadline: Aug 19th

Rhyming Poetry Contest
Deadline: Aug 23rd


Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Votes: None

 Category:  General Script
  Posted: November 21, 2019      Views: 28

Print It
Save to Bookcase
View Reviews
Rate This
Make Reader Pick
Promote This


Retired Marine; retired high school teacher; married 34 years; father of three; five grandchildren; one rescue granddog.

He is a top ranked author at the #10 position.

He is an accomplished novelist and is currently at the #23 spot on the rankings.

He is an accomplished script writer and is currently at the #3 spot on the rankings.

He is an accomplished poet and is currently at the #43 spot on this years rankings.

He is also an active reviewer and is holding the #11 spot on the top ranked reviewer list.

Portfolio | Become A Fan
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
a one scene script
"Scene.. Seed Spit 4" by Bill Schott

Apollo = old Russian body-builder
Plan 9 = alien
Spitter 4 (Sp4) = itinerate vagrant
Spitter 5 (Sp5) = escaped lunatic
Ned and Pallas are presenting popup shillouettes for the final leg of the seed spitting competition.  Plan 9 has just destroyed a sillouette of Elvis.  There are three more sillouettes to go.  Plan 9, an alien; Spitter 4, a homeless man passing through town; and Spitter 5, an escapee from an insane asylum are the participants still in contension. 

Pons: We're back ladies and gentlemen. Now that the bomb squad has determined that our sillouette of Elvis was likely painted with too many coatings of a highly combustible lacquer, we can continue without a care in the world as if nothing has happened.

Ned:  Good thin' that weren't the real Elvis. That mighta actual kilt the man. Then what?

Apollo: King is dead now. Was in all papers four decades in past.

Pallas: Good thing, 'cause he'd be a Hunka Hunk a Burnin' Love in the back of an ambulance right now.

Plan 9: Elvis represents the world as it BURNS TO A PROVERBIAL CINDER!

Spt 4: I hope the next target is less dramatic.

Spt 5: Perhaps Shirley Temple or Shemp Howard.

Pons: Moving right along, folks, our three spitters will approach the next target on these unicycles.

The three mount their unicycles differently and with varying degrees of difficulty.  Plan 9 climbs on the traditional way and proceeds. Spt4 places his hands on the seat, one foot on a pedal, and uses his other foot to push the one-wheeled vehicle forward. Spt5 picks the unicycle up by the pedals and aims the frame and wheel forward like a divining rod.

Ned: I thunk they was goin' ta be on unicorns. Guess I heard wrong.

Apollo: Many things wrong with unicycle also.

Pallas: Speaking of wrong, here comes the next target.

A sillouette of former Vice President Spiro Agnew appears.

Plan 9: Who the hell is that?

Spt 4: Who the hell is that?

Spt 5: Spiro? We meet again, my old nemesis.

Pons: Who the hell is that?

Ned: That there's Spiral Ignew. He was Tricky Dick Nixon's first vicer versa president afore he got fired and deplaced by Jerry Old Ford.

Apollo: Is historical fact.

Pons: Spitters, SPIT!

Pallas: Let's not blow the old VP up this time. I could use him in the HOV lane.

Spt 4:
(Spits four seeds and never comes close)  Curses!  Foiled again!

Spt 5: (Swallows all the remaining seeds and simply makes spitting sounds)  Patooey! Patooey!

Plan 9: (
Spits and the Spiro Agnew sillouette spins until it is drilled into the ground)  

Pons:  That puts a new -- spin -- on things (smiling, awaiting response, silence)

Ned: Spiral got screwt in the ground there.

Apollo: Crooked like corkscrew now is screw-ed like crook.

Pallas: No cool lines for me I guess. 

Pons:  This one goes to Plan 9 as well and sets us up for sudden death.

Plan 9: Your sudden death would be a luxury as YOUR WORLD IS CONSUMED IN A BLAZING CONFLAGRATION !

Spt 4:  I have to hit the next sillouette or I'll lose the game.

Spt 5: I am Spartacus!  No, I am Spartacus. 

Pons: Spitters 4 or 5 need to take out this third sillouette or they will both be mathematically eliminated.

Ned: Sounds dange-rous. 

Apollo: Means spitters cannot win contest.

Pallas: I think they've proved that already.

Plan 9: Indeed. I should be declared the champion and Earth SACRAFICED AS A BURNT OFFERING TO MY GRAND BEING!

Spt 4: I should be moving on. I have heard there is a chess tournament in the next town.

Spt 5:  I must go as well. I am the Queen's Bishop.

Pons: Looks like two of the three contestants are throwing in the towel.

Ned: Snatch That towel up fer me, Pons. I dun wore a hole in my bathroom-dish washin'-car buffin'- turban makin'- rat snappin' beach towel.

Apollo: Is metaphorical towel.

Ned:  I kin use it fer metafours and fives too. 

Pallas: You're a metathree at best, Ned. When folks say, "Like Ned" they're referring to a three-legged caterpillar or a headless pony.

Plan 9: Oooh!  Harsh.

Pons: Pallas, remind me to kick your dumb ass later.

Ned: Whilest he's kickin' yer donkey, I'll be blousin' yer eye.

Apollo: Ned leaves me with speech loss.

Pons:  Trophy's yours, Plan 9. (Pons presents a watermelon with WINNER written on it in black permanent marker. 

Plan 9: Glorious! It will be the sole surviving form of intelligent life left on this SOON TO BE MOLTEN GLOB!

Pons: Kind of a bad winner, huh?

Ned: Should I ha' spelt it wit three Ns ?

The End
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Share or Bookmark
Print It Save to Bookcase View Reviews Make Reader Pick Promote This
© Copyright 2016. Bill Schott All rights reserved.
Bill Schott has granted, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

You need to login or register to write reviews.

It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.

Interested in posting your own writing online? Click here to find out more.

Write a story or poem and submit your work to receive reviews on your writing. Publish short stories on our book writing site and enter the monthly contests. Guaranteed reviews for everything you write and you will be ranked. Information.

  Contact Us

© 2016, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Statement