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 Category:  General Script
  Posted: December 11, 2019      Views: 32

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You are enjoying another piece of writing penned by the NUMBER 5 RANKED SCRIPT WRITER OF THE YEAR FOR 2019!!!

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FanStory's Only Talk Show - Number 33: Christmas Tree Tips
"Cracker Croakers #33 :" by Brett Matthew West



COLTON WYATT: Welcome to Cracker Croakers for Wednesday, December 11, 2019. I'm Colton Wyatt and my guest is noted Christmas tree farmer Jeremy Sutton.

JEREMY SUTTON: Thanks for having me, Colton. I've never been on television before. This is awesome!

COLTON WYATT: Whether nestled in the corner of a living room or den, or the focal point of a town square such as the one found in Central Park in New York City, Christmas trees are one of the most iconic symbols of the holiday season. Many family traditions, and fond memories, have been shared around Christmas trees.

JEREMY SUTTON: According to the National Christmas Tree Association, 25 to 30 million real Christmas trees are sold in the United States each year. They come from all fifty states and parts of Canada, too.

COLTON WYATT: Fresh cut trees are especially aromatic and can be stunning. However, they require some work. Jeremy is here today to offer some tips on how to best care for your Christmas tree.

JEREMY SUTTON: Even with the best of care, real Christmas trees have a limited shelf life of about four weeks before they dry out.

COLTON WYATT: I've heard it said if you pull your hand toward your body along the branches of a real Christmas tree, and several needles fall off, that is not a good sign.

JEREMY SUTTON: Yep, that means the tree is past its peak and you shouldn't waste your hard earned cashola buying an inferior product.

COLTON WYATT: What kind of tree do you recommend if needle retention is the goal?

JEREMY SUTTON: Scotch pines have the best needle retention as well as a high survival rate. Douglas firs and balsam firs would be other recommendations.

COLTON WYATT: Where is the best place to purchase a family's Christmas tree?

JEREMY SUTTON: From a reputable tree farm or nursery. Did you know that many pre-cut Christmas trees sold other than where they were harvested, are probably several weeks old already and may not be fresh?

COLTON WYATT: Why is it recommended to cut the bottom of your tree before bringing your Christmas tree home?

JEREMY SUTTON: To facilitate the uptake of fresh water daily.

COLTON WYATT: How much should you water your Christmas tree for optimum pleasure?

JEREMY SUTTON: Christmas trees can absorb as much as a gallon of water every day, and that water needs to be fresh.

COLTON WYATT: Are there any certain considerations about which room you should place your Christmas tree in?

JEREMY SUTTON: Yes there are. You should account for the height of the tree as well as the stand. You should also leave a good six inches between the top of the tree and the ceiling in the room..

COLTON WYATT: What about heat sources?

JEREMY SUTTON: At a minimum, keep your Christmas tree at least three feet away from fireplaces and heaters and out of direct sunlight. That simple act will prolong the tree's longevity. Also, once the needles start to fall off your Christmas tree with frequency the tree has reached its prime. Therefore, it should be removed from your home to prevent the tree from becoming a fire hazard.

COLTON WYATT: Is there anything else you'd like to share with our audience today?
JEREMY SUTTON: Here's an insider secret to help make your Christmas tree last longer. Boil a gallon of water and dissolve a cup of sugar in the water. Let 'em cool. After you freshly cut the trunk, pour the sugar water in. Then, add fresh, cool, plain water to the tree stand afterwards. (Smiles) Let me know what happens.

COLTON WYATT: Join us again tomorrow when we will talk about safe decorating for Christmas. From all of us here at Cracker Croakers we wish you a Merry Christmas. Yes, we say Merry Christmas. That may not be "politically correct" in some circles, but we know where we stand in the circle that matters. I'm Colton Wyatt. Merry Christmas one and all


Author Notes
The blue Christmas tree, by supergold, selected to complement my script.

So, thanks supergold, for the use of your picture. It goes so nicely with my script.
Pays one point and 2 member cents. Artwork by supergold at

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