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| Category: | Young Adult Poetry |
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Posted: | March 6, 2021 Views: 22 |
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Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
I travel into the empty, searching for a new hope
"When I Was An Astronaut"
by Modus Mos
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~ * ~
I remember a time
Where I gazed at that great sky
Pointing my finger in that deep blue white
Trying to find shapes
Where Animals that fly,
Cars that float so high,
Sailing with great space ships.
Sitting down on colored chalk
Resembling a ship for my journey
Soda caps that turn the knobs
And sticks that made me climb.
That was when I was an astronaut.
Preparing for that long travel
Aging along with time and abuse.
Growing up, looking back.
I'm jealous of the things I once had.
Yet among the sparkled pink and blue
Within the gold flakes, I feel nothing but hate.
Floating in endless space-
*~...alone...~*
I remember the day, I busted my head open, while I was sleeping
Beside a restless mom, she's weeping, I wanted to end it that day,
Oh, how I was so young, that the pillow turned red.
Mom woke up in a mess.
The baby, only age 8-
Hit themselves on the head with such force to meet one's end.
I woke up, in a daze, that night, the haze, the smell of blood
Newborn-drug. The lust of wanting death at that little age.
How some can't relate.
~ * ~...Yet, even now, I'm still alive...~ * ~
Still lusting for suicide, I cant
Don't want, but need
The chance to be free.
The feeling I-held-so-close, the anger,
the Sadness, the unending madness,
oh, how it made me rot.
Mental illness,
The perpetual conduciveness
Like metal, it burned, sparked within me-
activating robotic mental health.
The hate of oneself.
~ * ~...Self-loathing...~ * ~
If I had the chance, I would
Change the past many would
Yet the one who wronged me,
The one who shattered my sanity
I have my reasons but don't question
Let me live my last rebellion,
Against my inner self,
How I ran many times, to suppress that evil.
~ * ~
That grew when I was an astronaut.
~ * ~
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Author Notes
a bookmarked kid who lives in a billion-paged world.
Lost within the deep space of self,
The kid who was not an astronaut.
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Pays
one point
and 2 member cents.
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© Copyright 2016.
Modus Mos
All rights reserved.
Registered copyright with FanStory. 
Modus Mos
has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. |
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