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 Category:  Biographical Non-Fiction
  Posted: January 30, 2022      Views: 17

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I am an Educator, Artist, Writer, Mother, and Grandmother. To de-stress, I write, paint, create. I am always busy creating, writing, or hosting something.

I don't have the best memory, but I can remember almost every detail of almost ev - more...

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A Day Out With The Girls
"Sisterhood" by wilkswrites

"You need to calm down. All you had to do was text or call us."

"All YOU had to do was text or call ME to let me know that the plan changed. How am I supposed to know what you two are doing?"

Basically, our college buddy, Anna, was visiting from Atlanta to help my sister celebrate my birthday which was coming up in 48 hours. Anna stayed with me and my sister (Tina) was at her own home 15 minutes away. Ana and I got up early and ate breakfast with the plan to meet up at my sister's home later that same day. We all agreed to go out to the mall to have pedicures.

While we ate breakfast, Anna asked me how I managed to repair my relationship with my sister, knowing that there had been many problems between us in the past. I shared with her that having therapy worked for me. It taught me how to best relate to my sister. I knew the triggers so I try to avoid them at all costs.

Anna asked, "give me an example."

"When Tina and I are alone, we get along just fine. But as soon as there is an audience of one or more, she treats me differently; as if she doesn't like me. She spends a lot of time making others see me in a different light and I don't know what that is all about."

We went to the mall and got our manicures. After we paid at the front desk, I excused myself to use the restroom as they waited in the hall for me. When I came out of the restroom, they were gone. I went outside thinking that they would pull the car around since we didn't agree to shop at the mall. I texted my sister - no response. I called my sister - no response. I texted Anna -- no response. I called Anna to hear her say, "we are at T-Mobile. Come to T-Mobile."

I went to T-Mobile, but there wasn't anyone in the store. I approached a man in a kiosk to ask if there was another T-Mobile in the mall besides that one? The man pointed down the hall and instructed me to go down one hall and make a right to go down another hall towards the other T-Mobile.

Just as I was about to do as the man instructed, I spotted Anna in a different store. I was glad to have found them sooner than later, but I did mention that I was about to miss them again based on the instructions the man in the Kiosk had given me.

"I'm sorry," Anna said. I just had brain surgery, so I am still a little loopy.

I walked over to my sister to suggest that we have lunch in the mall's food court since there was a wide variety. She agreed.

After lunch, we left the mall and went to another store. My request was the Dollar Store. I announced that I just had to get a few things and wouldn't be long. I shopped methodically choosing only the 6 items on my list. In 10 minutes I had them all. I paid and was so proud of myself for how quickly I had accomplished my small goal. I headed for the door to see my sister's car pulling out of the parking lot. I yelled, "Hey guys, where are you going? Heeeeyyyyy! I'm finished shopping!"

I watched the car pull off, as onlookers watched me jump up and down waving my bag in the air. The car kept on going as I called my sister -- no answer. I texted my sister -- no response. I called my friend -- No answer. I texted my friend -- No response.

I watched as the car drove to another store in the plaza about a mile away and park. I had two choices. To either stand at the Dollar store and wait for them to come back for me or walk over to where they were, at least half a mile across the large parking lot, step over the small retainer wall at the side of the building to get to the other store's parking lot and finally walk over to my sister's car. I chose the latter, but by the time I reached that car, I was fuming!

"What are you doing? I was only in the store for a few minutes! Why did you leave me?"

"You need to calm down!"

"Don't tell me to calm down. Had I done this to you it would have been a huge f...king problem!" The use of profanity towards my sister was a clear indication that I was beyond angry.

"Really? You need to get over yourself. She looked me over and said, "you could use the exercise!"

Her words quickly triggered my memory of past times when she let her hair down and allowed her real feelings to come out of her mouth. Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. Even the fact that she left me hurt a little less. She reminded me at that moment of why I sought therapy. I hated myself for forgetting what I had learned from my therapy sessions, and for allowing myself to be trapped in, yet, another painful situation with my only sister. When she had an audience, she was outright cruel towards me despite claiming me as her best friend. She knew that my weight was a very painful subject for me, so I knew that it was a deliberate dagger that she chose to use to hurt me.

After fifteen more minutes, our mutual friend came out of the store where she was getting her much-needed hot chocolate. I calculated that had I waited for them at the dollar store, it would have been at least a thirty-minute wait. There seemed to be no hurry on either of their parts. It was as if I wasn't even there.

By the time Anna returned with that hot chocolate, the conversation between my sister and I had escalated to a screaming match. Anna apologized again that she changed the plan, but her apology fell on deaf ears.

"I'm sorry that I changed the plan," Anna said.

"It's not that you changed the plan that is the issue. It is the fact that you're not using the technology that we all have to communicate to me that the plan changed."

Anna's next words floored me.

"You're just upset because we left you at the mall."

Then I realized that leaving me at the Dollar store was actually their third offense because as Anna had stated, they had left me twice at the mall. Also, I couldn't believe that Ana, knowing what I shared with her about how my sister behaves towards me when she has an audience, was being so insensitive.

Anna spoke again stating, "All I know is that since I survived brain surgery, I think you can be just a little inconvenienced."

My sister chimed in stating, "you need to get out of your feelings. It is not that big of a deal!"

At that moment, I swear, I hated them both.

I responded with, "You don't have the right to tell me how I am supposed to feel about this situation or any other situation for that matter. How I feel about your inconsiderate behavior is how I feel. You don't have the right to minimize my feelings. In less than three hours, you have left me (three times) without communicating to me where you were. Although I am communicating with the two of you, neither of you are communicating with me. So don't even tell me anything about being inconvenienced or getting over my feelings. We both know that had I asked to leave Anna in the store to go and get hot chocolate, it would have not been considered a good idea at all. So, Yes, I am pissed, and you don't get to dictate to me how I should feel."

As we drove back to my car in silence, I continued to fume inside. Once we reached my car, I drove home alone leaving Anna with my sister.

The following day, they showed up at my door with birthday gifts for me. My sister apologized after having heard a sermon about treating others the way you want to be treated. Anna also apologized again for changing the plan. Again I had to correct her so she fully understood.

"Changing the plan wasn't my problem. Not using your technology to communicate with me was the problem. It was inconsiderate."

Although my sister is my sister, I struggle with my trust in her friendship. Anna has always been a fair-weathered friend, so I get it. But, the love that two sisters are supposed to share seems to be fractured in some way between my younger sister and me. Now that I have chosen, once again, to keep my distance from her, I am receiving heart emojis and notes of "I love you!" She claims that I am her best friend and her favorite person, but I just don't get it.

This Sentence Starts The Story contest entry

Author Notes
Oprah once said that it is okay to love a person, even family, from a distance if they cause us negativity. I only have one sister, and I really feel sad that we find ourselves in such ugly situations. However, I don't know what else to do except put distance between us and love her from a distance.
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