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 Category:  Family Fiction
  Posted: June 17, 2019      Views: 191
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Chapter 2 of the book No Child of Mine
Nicki and Amanda get in some parenting practice
"Troublemakers" by AshelinaB

The doorbell rings.

Nicki rises to go answer it, brushing a kiss across Amanda’s forehead as she stands.

“Hiya, Nix!” Emily kisses the woman on both cheeks as soon as the door is out of the way.

Her friend blinks in a daze. “You gotta stop doing that,” she mumbles as she covers her reddening cheeks with both hands.

“Aw...” The slightly younger woman pouts. “Dee missed it.”

“Ugh.” Reese ruffles her wife’s hair. “Such a troublemaker.”

“Like you’re any better.” Emily leans back into Reese’s embrace to flutter her eyelashes at her love.

“Mmm.” The tallest woman leans down to kiss her wife.

“Um...” Nicki ruffles the hair at the back of her own head. “Was there something that you guys needed?”

“Nope, something you needed.” The honey-blonde quickly shoves Hannah into Nicki’s arms. “Parenting practice! You’re welcome! See you later!”

“...Whuh?” The smallest woman blinks down at the toddler. “Um, hey, Nana.” She kisses the grinning baby’s forehead.

The child gurgles and pats her godmother’s cheek.

“So, when are you- guys... coming back?” Nicki looks up to see Reese chasing Emily to their car, lightly smacking her wife’s behind along the way.

“WOOOO!” she’s pretty sure she hears as well.

“Right.” She closes the door and brings the toddler to the master bedroom. There, she sets Hannah on her wife’s chest.

“G-’s not morning. Wha- What?” Amanda blinks cross-eyed at the year-old child.

The baby drops her jaw in laughter. “Pig!” she exclaims, poking the brunette’s nose. 

Her mother often teases Amanda for eating so much despite well knowing pregnancy cravings from experience. Amanda and Emily are the closest of friends and the bitterest of enemies, often at the same time. They could even be called soulmates in some strange way, a strong undeniable bond between them forever linking the pair together.

“Ugh.” Amanda hugs the little girl anyway. “What are you doing here, biddy baby?” she asks Hannah.

“Some door-to-door salesman dropped her by. I think we won her.” Nicki crawls onto the bed to snuggle up to Amanda again.

“Reese and Emily strike again.” Her wife rolls her eyes. “Lemme guess— this is a favor to us.”


 “What do you say we sell her to the circus?”

“Works for me.” Nicki giggles. “’Cept I’m pretty sure that Em would kill us if we did that.”

“Well, she should know better than to leave her baby with just anyone then!”

“We’re not just anyone! Oh, can I hold Nana again?” The older woman loves babies, has her whole life, and is overjoyed to finally be so close to having one of her own.

Amanda passes off Hannah without pause. “Be my guest. I’m going back to sleep.”

Stage-whispering to the toddler, Nicki tells her, “Neither one of ’em wants anyone to know this, but your mommy and my wife are almost exactly alike.”

“Be quiet, Nicki.”

“Yes, dear.”

The younger woman shakes her head without opening her eyes. “Boss; yes, boss,” she reminds her wife, grinning.

“Yes, boss.”

“Pig!” Hannah chimes in. “Pig-Dee!”

“Ugh.” Amanda makes like she’s going to smack the baby upside the head but merely rubs the child all over her scalp before rolling over to face away from her. 


Barely even two minutes later, Hannah’s small hand drops onto Amanda’s face.

“Eek!” The pregnant woman kicks awake.

Nicki shakes with chuckles while Hannah mimics her. “S-sorry, honey! Y-y- ...You know how close she likes to be to you. I didn’t know she’d-” The very unimpressed expression on her wife’s face makes the blonde bite her lip to keep in her laughter but then burst out guffawing anyway. 

Amanda glares. “If you put this kid that close to me and didn’t know that she’d do that, then you’re an idiot. ...Stop laughing!” The sulky brunette smacks her wife's arm.

Hannah, having a jolly good time, topples over in a giggle attack. “Auntie!” she calls in the voice that Amanda hates so much.

“Ohhh my gosh, I am throwing her out the window!” The woman scoops up the baby as she herself sits fully up.

However, the movement only results in Hannah cuddling up to her and giving her a big sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Fine!” Amanda swoons dramatically and plops back onto the bed. “Curse your cuteness!” She presses her forehead to the toddler’s and rubs faces with her.

Hannah, recognizing the final word, pushes up the end of Amanda’s nose with the heel of her palm before dissolving into giggles once more. “Cute pig!”

Hannah Peters!” The brunette tackles the baby to the bed, holding her down with a hand on her tiny tummy.

Doe eyes widening impossibly, Hannah falls still and silent.

“Honey-” Nicki too gets a bit nervous and lays a restraining hand on her hormonal wife’s arm.

Glaring harder, Amanda hovers more intimidatingly over Hannah. Just when the baby is about to start crying, a luminescent smile transforms the woman’s face, and she blows a raspberry on the child.

The baby responds in joy, kicking her feet, flailing her arms, wiggling, and shrieking.

Her elder godmother sighs in relief.

“You, Hannah Peters, are just like your daddy. Always messing with me when you shouldn’t be, getting great fun out of it, and then being scared to death when it’s time to face the consequences. You both forget how scary I can be when I really want to.” The brunette chuckles.

“I sure don’t!” her wife chimes in helpfully/unhelpfully.

Amanda rolls her eyes again. Soon, “Help me, Nicki! She’s getting away!” she exclaims, ever theatrical.

“Oh no!” Nicki sets her own mouth to blowing more raspberries on the squirming, exuberant toddler too. “Hey,” she says after she’s caught her breath, “you reminded me. Remember when Reese stuck a toy snake in one of the pots you were gonna use in home economics during middle school? Your face- hahahahah!”

“Yeah.” The taller woman’s lips curls back into a wry smile. “Remember hers when I chased her around with that da- dang pot?”

“Yes!” Her wife laughs harder. “Her mouth could have fit that whole thing inside it!”

“I almost got it in there too.” Amanda smiles fondly at old memories.

“Yeah, but then Em got you.”

“Ooh-ooh-woo!” They both shudder at the memory. 

“I am so glad that you’re not like your mommy, Nana. Oh, I am tired!” The taller woman scoops up Hannah again rather than flop on top of her and crush her.

“That’s okay,” Nicki once more stage-whispers to the girl, “Mandy’s like your mommy enough for the both of you.”

“Ugh, out! And take Troublemaker 2.0 with you. I’m going to sleep for real this time!”

“Alright, honey.” The blonde takes the toddler from the brunette, pressing another kiss to a hidden forehead as she goes. 

Hannah copies the woman holding her by gently kissing Amanda as well.

Amanda squeals. She reaches for the baby to hug her but then decides against it and cuddles her giant teddy bear instead. “Nighty night!” she bids the pair goodbye.

Hannah pouts but goes quietly.

Chapter Two contest entry

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