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 Category:  Humor Fiction
  Posted: November 18, 2019      Views: 106

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Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
This work has reached the exceptional level
Another Smuckatelly Adventure
"Don't Look Back Smuckatelly" by Earl Corp

When Smuckatelly and I were Privates in the Army, we were assigned to 2/30 Infantry “Wild Boar” Battalion in Schweinfurt, Germany. Oddly enough, Schweinfurt means Pig Town in English.

The Battalion Commander, Lieutenant Colonel Huffalump, wanted to obtain a wild boar for a mascot. He wanted one so bad he offered two four day passes to anyone who brought in a live wild boar.

To an Army  Private, four days off was the ultimate reward. I’ve seen guys do some amazing things to get four days off, but what Smuckatelly did to get his topped them all.
Our platoon was assigned to guard the battalion tactical operations center (TOC) where the commander was spending the field exercise we were on. Smuckatelly and I were performing a two man patrol when all of a sudden he froze in his tracks.

“Hold mah rifle,” he drawled while handing me his M-16.
“What’s going on?”
He pointed off to our left and said, “They’s hawgs over yonder."

“Ah’m getting’ me a four day pass,” he said as he disappeared into the brush.
A couple of minutes later all Hell broke loose. There was a loud squealing and a crackling of brush as Smuckatelly emerged from the woods.

He was holding a baby boar and Mama was in hot pursuit. Smuckatelly took off like a bat out of Hell down the trail towards the TOC with the mama boar on his heels.
I followed at a distance to see how this played out. I thought for sure the hog would catch him pretty quick.
Smuckatelly ran into the perimeter with the baby squealing and the Mama gaining on him. He ran directly into the commander’s tent. Once there he threw the piglet into the surprised commander’s arms.

“Here yuh go, Sir,” he said as he continued to run out the back of the tent.
Mama boar followed him in the tent, I have never seen officers exit a shelter so quickly as she began to tear stuff up.

Smuckatelly was awarded an Army Achievement Medal for valor against the wily pig, a battalion challenge coin, and of course a four day pass.
I got to walk and bathe the pig.


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