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 Category:  Mystery and Crime Fiction
  Posted: February 19, 2020      Views: 12

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Spring is almost here. Will we venture outside and write less or be inspired to write more? I'm curious to see. Happy writing and reviewing!

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What evil lurks within...?
"The Whitehall Mystery" by jsholmeg

Camera view from backseat of SUV. Heavily wooded, two-lane road. Rain droplets on windshield. Intermittent wipers on. Few cars pass. Oldies play on radio. Jan,34, Jim, 38, visiting her mom; never met Jim.

Jan: "You'll really like her. She's a hoot".

Jim: "I'm certain I will, if she's anything like you."

Small talk for next fifteen mins. Jan switches to Contemporary. Jim, back to Oldies. A sign appears on the left: 'Bellville 44 Miles'.

Jan: "Turn left, Jim; looks like a shortcut".

He hurriedly brakes, turns, just avoiding logging truck, onto narrow, dirt, washboard road. Jim looks stern:

Jim: "Are you sure, Hon? This is going to shake my fillings loose!"

Jan: "Oh, come on, Jim, be a little adventurous and remove your attorney hat?"

No houses, no speed limit. Rain coming down harder. Jan becomes animated.

Jan: "Isn't it So pretty? The leaves turning--I love Fall so much!"

"Uh, huh, " Jim says dryly. "Me too."

Up ahead doe crosses the road. Jan watches it then yells to Stop!

Jan: "Look over there".

Jim: "What, the deer?"

Jan: "No, that huge, deserted manor. Bet some industrialist or major tycoon once lived there."

Roll to stop. On the open gate: rusty, 'No Trespassing' sign. Another hangs from right bolt. Pan up the 50 yard drive to house. Peeling and sagging. Gutter hangs down.

"C'mon, Jim, let's take a look!"

Jim: "Honey, I don't have a good feeling."

Jan: "This is what happens when you date a crime beat reporter. Now, compose yourself and let's get moving."


Jan pops out excitedly; Jim opens door, slides out reluctantly. Rain now a mist. She grabs his hand, pulls him along the arboreal drive toward house; leaves crunching beneath feet. At fence Jim tilts head 90-degrees left to read sign: 'Whitehall'. From third-floor window, pair of eyes looks down at them. Continue walking, rain stops and sun peeks out. No longer holding hands. Jim falling behind.

Jan: "Don't you feel like Joe Hardy and Nancy Drew?"

Jim: "No, more like Desi and Lucy".

No reply. Jan spots parrot in window.

Jan: "That wasn't there before!"

Jim scowls, stops 10 feet from porch. Slow drizzle begins.

"I've seen enough, Jan. Let's go see your Mom."

Calico cat appears from under veranda. Rubs against their legs. Goes up stairs.

Jan: "If someone is here, let me do the talking."

"Gotcha, Hon".

Suddenly, he about-faced said;

"No, I'm splitting"

Took two steps toward car..

Jan: "Well, I'll just go on by myself!"

Jim: "NO, honey, I'll come with you!"

Lowers his head, shakes it side-to-side several times. They alight the six steps. Reach door. Jan fumbles in purse.

Jan: "Damnit. Left my cell in the car. I'll be back in five, Jim".

Jim: "Nope. Can't get reception here, I'm sure. Here we go".

Jim reaches toward doorknob. Locked. Grasps chord to captain's bell as Jan turns away to leave.

Clang, clang, clang. clang!

End: Part One.

Write A Script contest entry

Author Notes
We'll see what happens!
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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