After spending thirty long years on the job,
my retirement date finally rolled around.
Now it was time to relax and take life easy,
without alarm clocks and that awful sound.
The first week at home was peaceful and quiet,
enjoying all the wonderful things I had missed.
While laying on the couch counting my blessings,
in strolled my wife dragging a long honey-do list.
From that moment on my dream world vanished,
this was the beginning of a retirement from hell.
Every time I tried to offer one of my suggestions,
she would start waving her arms and began to yell.
"Don't think you're going to lay around," she said,
"I'm in charge now and I'll make all the damn rules."
Now, those remarks got my attention in a hurry,
so I sat up straight and covered my family jewels.
"I can't retire," she ranted, "my work is never done,
she was shaking her finger with every single word.
"And another thing mister, I'm not your damn waitress."
I began to lose interest then she gave me the "bird."
So, I froze in my seat and didn't move a muscle,
her voice was loud and she was right in my face.
"I'm the queen of this castle and don't you forget it,
you're not taking over, I'm the boss of this place."
She chewed me out like my old drill sergeant
and needless to say, it made me feel like a jerk.
Choosing the right time to retire takes planning,
then helping each other to make things work.